Writing for the Web

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Writing for the Web

• FAA
• Annetta Cheek
• 12/12/2006

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Presentation Outline
Principles of writing for the web
Plain language techniques and the Web
FAA websites
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How users read on the web
They dont.
They scan.
Nielsen and Morkes, in a famous 1997 study, found
that 79 percent of their test users always
scanned any new page they came across only 16
percent read word-by-word.
4
Nielsen and Morkes recommend

• Web pages should use scannable text

• highlighted keywords

• meaningful sub-headings (not "clever" ones)

• bulleted lists

• one idea in each paragraph

• the inverted pyramid style, starting with the
  conclusion

• half the words (or fewer) than regular writing

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They also note that

• Users detested "marketese" the promotional
  writing style that is so common on the Web.
• Remember these points as we look at some of our
  sites

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No one wants to see this on the Web!

• Change Your License Information - Add or Delete
  your Mailing Address from Public View
• The Aviation Investment and Reform Act for the
  21st Century, in addition to other statutory
  requirements, requires us to make airmen
  certificate information available to the
  public.  Airmen meeting the active criteria are
  sent a notification of these requirements, and
  are given the opportunity to withhold their
  address information from release.   If your
  address appears in this data base and you would
  like to remove it, or if it does not appear and
  you would like to add it, you may write or email
  us your preference.  You may provide us with your
  preference at any time. When corresponding with
  us, please be sure to include your full name,
  address, date of birth, and certificate number,
  so that we may properly identify your record.  

7

• Send written inquiries to
• Federal Aviation Administration Airmen
  Certification Branch, AFS-760 PO Box 25082
  Oklahoma City, OK 73125-0082 Addresses for
  airmen who do not meet the active criteria and
  have not been given the opportunity to withhold
  their address information, are not releasable.

8
How about this alternative?

•  
• Change Your License Information - Add or Delete
  your Mailing Address from Public View
• We must make airmen certificate information
  available to the public. 
• To add your address to or remove it from this
  data base, write or email us. Include your full
  name, address, date of birth, and certificate
  number.  
• Send written inquiries to
• Federal Aviation Administration Airmen
  Certification Branch, AFS-760 PO Box 25082
  Oklahoma City, OK 73125-0082
• We will not releases addresses if you arent
  active or havent had an opportunity to withhold
  your address information.

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Plain Language on the Web

• Material is in plain language if readers can

Find what they need
Understand what they find
Use it to fulfill their needs
These principles are even more important on the
Web than in written documents!
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Plain language will help you communicate more
effectively on the Web.

• Lets look at some specific plain language
  techniques.

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Use

• Informative headings

Pronouns
Active voice
Lists and tables
Common words
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Avoid

• Hidden verbs

Abbreviations
Long sentences
Unnecessary words
Information the reader doesnt want
13
Informative headings help the reader navigate the
document
Questions are often the most helpful headings, if
you can use the readers questions
AIP Overview
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• Heres another document that uses questions as
  headings

• 39.5 When does FAA issue airworthiness
  directives?
• 39.7 What is the legal effect of failing to
  comply with an airworthiness directive?
• 39.9 What if I operate an aircraft or use a
  product that does not meet the requirements of an
  airworthiness directive?
• 39.11 What actions do airworthiness directives
  require?
• 39.13 Are airworthiness directives part of the
  Code of Federal Regulations?
• And so on through section 39.37.

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A title should cover everything that follows

• What Airports are Eligible for AIP Grants?
• AIP grants for planning, development, or noise
  compatibility projects are at or associated with
  individual public-use airports . . .

• Recipients of grants are referred to as
  "sponsors." The description of eligible grant
  activities is described in the authorizing
  legislation and relates to capital items serving
  to develop and improve the airport in areas of
  safety, capacity, and noise compatibility. In
  addition to these basic principles, a sponsor
  must be legally, financially, and otherwise able
  to carry out the assurances and obligations
  contained in the project application and grant
  agreement.

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Pronouns

• Pronouns such as I, you, and we pull readers
  into your material and make it relevant to them
• Readers need less translation
• Pronouns let you eliminate words

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Using pronouns

• Refer to your organization as we
• Refer to the reader as you in the text and as
  I in questions
• Make sure you define we and you

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Without pronouns

• An AIP-assisted airport project or program cannot
  proceed or receive FAA approval until the airport
  sponsor provides assurance of conformance to the
  Uniform Act. Also, for development projects, the
  sponsor must provide assurance, satisfactory to
  the Secretary of the Department of
  Transportation, that good title is held to the
  landing area of the airport or that the airport
  will acquire the site.

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With pronouns

• You must assure us your project conforms to the
  Uniform Act. Until then, we will not approve your
  AIP-assisted airport project or program, and you
  cannot proceed. For development projects, you
  must assure us, in a way satisfactory to the
  Secretary of the Department of Transportation,
  that you hold clear title to the landing area or
  that your airport will acquire the site.

20
Without pronouns
This form needs completed by badge applicant,
sponsor (mgr), and ACE-700 prior to issuance of
any badge. - Anyone requiring a badge, for any
reason, needs to complete this form. POC Bldg
Mgr x3127

• With pronouns
• If you need a badge, you must fill out this form.
• Your manager and ACE-700 must also fill it out.
• Submit the completed form to ???
• Call the building manager on x3127 with
  questions.

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There are lots of pronouns on FAAs web

• Import an aircraft
• Copies of airman records
• Replace a knowledge test report
• Airport delays

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Passive voice

• The person doing the action follows the verb.
• A form of the verb to be is combined with the
  past participle of another verb.

The frog was swallowed by Fred.
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Passive Voice

• Can disguise who does what
• A frog was swallowed.

Active Voice
Makes it clear who does what
Fred swallowed a frog.
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Passive Voice

• Is often longer
• The application must be completed by the
  applicant and received by the grants office by
  June 1st. 17 words

Active Voice
Cuts the number of words We must receive your
completed application by June 1st. 9 words
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Lets fix a few passive verbs

• Public dissemination of information on airports
  is made possible through the Airport Master
  Record Program.

We distribute information about airports to the
public through the Airport Master Record Program.
Requests for training will need supervisory
approval and must be submitted through your
division training coordinator.
You need supervisory approval for your training
request. Submit your request through your
division training coordinator.
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• Any conveyance which affects title to, or any
  interest in, any specifically described aircraft,
  aircraft engine, aircraft propeller, or spare
  parts location, may be recorded. (See Items 2,3,
  and 4 below.) The complete, signed agreement of
  the parties (such as is contained in the security
  agreement) should be submitted to the FAA
  Aircraft Registry for recording.

FAA can record any conveyance which affects title
to, or any interest in, any specifically
described aircraft, aircraft engine, aircraft
propeller, or spare parts location. (See Items
2,3, and 4 below.) Submit the complete, signed
agreement of the parties (such as that in the
security agreement) to the FAA Aircraft
Registry.
27
Use vertical lists

• Vertical lists -
• Make it easy for the reader to identify all the
  items or steps in a process
• Add blank space for easy reading
• Help your reader see the structure of your
  document
• Let you eliminate redundancy

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Heres an example

• Change Your License Information - Name,
  Nationality/Citizenship, Gender, or Date of
  Birth
• Name change To obtain a new airman certificate
  that reflects a legal name change, it is
  necessary that you appear at an FAA Flight
  Standards District Office (FSDO) for positive
  identification. A photocopy of a marriage
  license, court order, or other valid legal
  document, which legally verifies the name change,
  must be presented to an FAA Inspector.
• Nationality/citizenship change To obtain a new
  airman certificate that reflects a
  nationality/citizenship change, it is necessary
  that you appear at an FAA Flight Standards
  District Office (FSDO) for positive
  identification. A naturalization document or
  other legal document that verifies the
  nationality/citizenship change must be presented
  to an FAA Inspector.

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Continued!!

• Gender changeTo obtain a new airman certificate
  that reflects a gender change, it is necessary
  that you appear at an FAA Flight Standards
  District Office (FSDO) for positive
  identification. One or both of the following
  documents must be presented to an FAA Inspector
• A court order issued by a court of the United
  States or it's territories stating that the
  applicant has changed his/her gender, and/or
• A statement from a physician or clinical
  psychologist treating the applicant that
  contains
• Identification of the applicant by name and
  address, and
• Verification that the applicant is undergoing
  treatment that has altered or will alter the
  gender.
• Date of birth changeTo obtain a new airman
  certificate that reflects a date of birth change,
  it is necessary that you appear at an FAA Flight
  Standards District Office (FSDO) for positive
  identification. A copy of your birth certificate
  or other legal document that verifies the date of
  birth change, must be presented to an FAA
  Inspector. Please call an FAA Inspector for an
  appointment and to obtain further information
  regarding the reissuance of your airman
  certificate.

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And in list form

• Change Your License Information - Name,
  Nationality/Citizenship, Gender, or Date of Birth
• If you want to change your license information to
  reflect a new
• name
• nationality or citizenship
• gender or
• date of birth.
• You must present a marriage license, court order,
  or other valid legal document which legally
  verifies the new information to an FAA Flight
  Standards District Office. For gender changes, we
  will also accept a statement from your physician
  or clinical psychologist identifying you by name
  and address and verifying that you are undergoing
  treatment that has altered or will alter your
  gender.
• Please call an FAA Inspector for an appointment
  and or more information about a new airman
  certificate.

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But dont make lists too long

• Research suggests that seven items are the most
  that work well in a list. Longer lists are hard
  to navigate.

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From the OMB homepage

•  
• Budget OverviewFunding Priorities, restraining
  other spending...
• DefenseWinning the War on Terror...
• Homeland SecurityProtecting the Nation...
• EconomyEnsuring Prosperity for Future
  Generations...
• EducationNo Child Left Behind...
• Health CareIncreasing access to affordability...
  
• CompassionHelping those in need...

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• VeteransHonoring our Nation's veterans with
  benefits they deserve...
• TransportationSafe, secure, efficient
  transportation...
• President's Budget MessageMeeting goals,
  advancing priorities...
• HousingExpanding ownership opportunities...
• EnvironmentEnvironmental responsibility...
• EnergyA comprehensive national policy...
• InternationalAddressing America's interests
  abroad...
•  

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• America's PromiseHelping everyone achieve the
  American dream...
• AgricultureSupporting strong rural
  communities...
• Science and SpaceExpanding knowledge through
  research...
• LaborExpanding Opportunities...

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I found lots of lists on our pages
However, not all of them are good lists.
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Heres an FAA list. (revisions to part 139)

• Grounding and bonding aircraft during fueling
  operations
• Planning for emergency response to radiological
  incidents
• Aircraft fire extinguishing agents, including
  halon 1211
• Use of older aircraft rescue and fire fighting
  (ARFF) vehicles without turrets or that have
  substandard foam discharge capacity
• Use of the common traffic advisory frequency by
  ARFF personnel at airports where there is no air
  traffic control or the tower is closed
• Training airport operations, emergency response,
  and aircraft fueling personnel
• Storing and dispensing aircraft lubricants and
  oxygen (the fuel fire safety requirements now
  only apply to aircraft fuel)
• Installation of supplemental wind cones and
  segmented circles
• Coordinating response procedures for security
  incidents contained in the Airport Emergency Plan
  with the Airport Security Plan required under 49
  CFR 1542
• Wildlife hazard assessments and management plans
  and
• Ground vehicle procedures.

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And a few more

• Environmental
• Get a medical certificate
• Airline operator training
• AIP obligations

38
Tables

• Make it easy to take in complex material at a
  glance
• Make it easy to locate specific provisions
• Save words
• Make your logic and structure clear

39
FAA has some tables that work

• Opening or closing an airport
• Sport pilot requirements

But you could have used more tables. For
example Compliance times Registering a light
sport aircraft
40
Use common words

• Use

• Utilize

Facilitate
Help
Methodology
Method
Necessitates
Needs
Parameters
Limits
Promulgate
Issue
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Heres some examples from your pages

• Sufficient

Enough
Necessitates
Needs
Begins
Commences
Part
Portion
Is required to be
Must be
42
Avoid hidden verbs

• Hidden verbs are verbs disguised as nouns. They
  are generally longer than their true verb forms.
  In English, verbs are stronger than nouns, so
  using nouns in place of verbs makes your writing
  weaker.

43
Conduct an analysis
Analyze
Present a report
Report
Do an assessment
Assess
Provide assistance
Help
Using
The use of
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Lets fix these hidden verbs
submission of an application
suspension and revocation of licenses
verification of the completion of the process

• evaluation and award of contract, resolution of
  claims and disputes, and settlement of litigation
  issues

45
Avoid abbreviations

• Readers complain more about abbreviations and
  acronyms than about any other feature of
  bureaucratic writing
• Using abbreviations turns your material into a
  research project for readers.

46

• The Information Systems Security (ISS)
  Architecture implements the Information Security
  framework, which complies with the FAA ISS
  policies and Security Certification and
  Authorization Process (SCAP), to provide an
  acceptable level of security to the NAS and
  Administration and Mission Support (AMS)
  Systems. Security-related network hardware and
  software are being strategically and
  systematically distributed across the NAS and
  AMS infrastructure to serve and protect
  sensitive resources.

47
How can you fix abbreviations?

• Dont use more than two, and at most three,
  abbreviations in each document.
• Instead, use nicknames such as tool for
  Program Assessment Rating tool (not PART), or
  write out the ones that arent used too often.

I found few abbreviations on your pages!
48
Keep sentences short
The project implementation date is the notice to
proceed date for construction projects (even if
they include design), the contract award date for
equipment/vehicle refurbishment, the titling or
delivery date for equipment/vehicle purchases,
the contract purchase date for land purchases,
the notice to proceed date for planning projects,
and the notice to proceed for design only
projects. (57 words)

49
General rules for sentence length

• Your document should have an average sentence
  length of 20 words, or fewer.
• No single sentence should be longer than 40
  words.
• And thats for paper documents. For the Web, I
  recommend 15 and 25, respectively.

50
Bureaucratic writers use more words than they
need.

• Omit unnecessary words.

51

• In order to

• To

We are currently planning
We are planning
In the case that
If, when
Is required to
Must
For more suggestions, see www.plainlanguage.gov
52
N1 through N99 are strictly reserved for FAA use.
N1 through N99 are reserved for FAA use.

• X is defined as

X is
Y is intended to
Y does
The purpose of Z is to
Z does
53
Dont tell the audience what they dont want to
know. Just answer the readers questions.

• Dont give the reader a lot of unnecessary or
  extra information.
• Heres an example from a FEMA site
• I just found out that the products I have been
  using to clean my home are toxic! Have I damaged
  my health by using these products?

54

• Answer First of all, what is meant by toxicity?
  Somewhere on the order of 70,000 different
  chemicals have been identified as toxic. A
  chemical produces a toxic effect at
  concentrations that alter the normal state of the
  organism. For many chemicals, there is a dose at
  which there are no toxic effects, there is a dose
  at which the effects are reversible, and there is
  a dose at which the effects may have permanent
  consequences. An example of some toxic chemicals
  that many of us are exposed to regularly are
  caffeine, tobacco, and alcohol. At doses normally
  consumed by the average person, the "high" effect
  felt by the individual response can be quite
  different. One person may be able to drink 5 cups
  of coffee with out visible effects, while another
  person might get the shakes after 2 cups of
  coffee. This is an example of how the dose and
  response varies from one person to the next. At
  some point, each of these chemicals can have a
  much more serious effect on the individual. At
  extremely high doses . . .

55
We often give the audience more than they want or
need.

• FAA Policy on Environmental Review
• The FAA must carefully analyze and evaluate the
  impact that a proposed development presents to
  the environment. This involves a systematic and
  multidisciplinary approach for the purpose of
  assuring compliance with NEPA. FAA Order 5050.4,
  "Airport Environmental Handbook" establishes the
  FAA official policy on meeting NEPA requirements.
  The FAA may not proceed with programming and
  funding an AIP project until the environmental
  review is complete.

56
Here are several more

• Overview Complying with Obligations
• Land Acquisition
• 2005 Annual Conference Information
• Flight Services Operations

57
A common error is to talk about our
programsthats what Nielsen and Morkes meant by
marketese. The audience doesnt want to have
to get through this information.
58
For example
The FAA's Airport Compliance Program ensures
airport sponsors comply with the Federal
obligations they assume when they accept Federal
grant funds or the transfer of Federal property
for airport purposes. The program serves to
protect the public interest in civil aviation and
ensure compliance with applicable Federal laws,
FAA rules, and policies.
.

• Or this
• Regional guidance document

59
Lets use plain language techniques to improve
the following sentences.
60
If this signal is directed at you and you are not
communicating with ATC, we advise you to turn to
a heading away from the center of the FRZ/ADIZ as
soon as possible and immediately contact ATC on
an appropriate frequency, or if unsure of the
frequency, contact ATC on VHF guard 121.5 or UHF
guard 243.0.(57 words)
If this signal is directed at you and you are not
communicating with ATC, turn to a heading away
from the center of the FRZ/ADIZ as soon as
possible and contact ATC. If you dont know what
frequency to use, use VHF guard 121.5 or UHF
guard 243.0. (48 words in two sentences)
61
If the Special Number is reserved to one party
and the aircraft is registered to a different
party, then the request for the N-Number change
must be accompanied by a letter from the person
or party that has reserved the special number
releasing it for use on a specific aircraft. (50
words)
If you want to change your N-number to a specific
number, and someone else has reserved that
number, your request must include a letter from
whoever reserved the number giving you permission
to use it. (34 words)
62
This General Information section provides input
to assist an Aviation Medical Examiner (AME),
otherwise known as an Examiner, in performing his
or her duties in an efficient and effective
manner.
General Information for Aviation Medical Examiners
63
In consideration for receiving federal funds an
airport operator must enter into a grant
agreement with the Federal Government. (19 words)
To receive federal funds, you must sign a grant
agreement with FAA. (12 words)
64

• There is a need to identify any factors that may
  have contributed to these incidents by collecting
  specific data on those events that have happened
  to date, and to also collect data on any future
  incidents that may happen. (39 words)

We need to collect information on previous and
future incidents to identify what may have caused
them. (17 words)
65
Based on discussions both within and outside the
FAA, we have decided that there was a need for
some type of straight forward guide to describe
some of the different ways that the FAA awards
contracts. We have tried to consolidate a great
deal of information on the subject into one
Internet site with links to other sites which go
into greater detail. We would be interested in
receiving your comments about this site. (75
words)
Customer feedback suggests we need to describe
how the FAA awards contracts. This site
consolidates considerable information and links
to other sites containing more detail. Please
send us your comments about this site. (33 words)
66
Lets talk about a few FAA pages

• Airport Land Acquisition
• PFC Annual Audit Request
• Contract opportunities
• Technical standard orders

67
Resources

• Federal plain language site Plainlanguage.gov
• Web writing guidelines from usability.gov
  http//usability.gov/pdfs/chapter15.pdf
• Jakob Nielsen on writing for the web
  http//www.useit.com/papers/webwriting/