The Nutty Letter

1
The Nutty Letter

• Formatting
• Creativity

2
The Nutty Letter

• This project is based upon the book Letters from
  a Nut by Ted Nancy (Jerry Seinfeld)
• The book is simply a compilation of very strange
  letters sent to various companies and their
  responses
• Nordstroms The mannequin looks like a deceased
  neighbor (in every way, including the clothes he
  used to wear!) Requests to buy mannequin.
• Baseball Hall of Fame I have Mickey Mantles
  toenails and would like to donate them.
• Motel I would like to bring my own pop machine
  when I stay there. I have a favorite brand and
  your motel doesnt sell it.
• Motel Requesting accommodations. I am a Level IV
  bed wetter. I sometimes ruin plants and
  furniture.
• MM/Mars I dont like the name Snickers. It
  sounds like it is laughing at me. Can you call it
  Snuckers?

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The Nutty Letter

• Format
• Must follow formal letter formatting
• Heading
• Punctuation
• Purpose of paragraphs (intro/body/conclusion)
• Brainstorm Creative Observations
• Develop absurd (but not too absurd) observation
• Offer absurd (but not too absurd) advice
• Do not make requests for products
• Voice
• Convey idea in a tone that is absurd (but...not
  too absurd)
• Research
• To whom will letter be addressed
• Any necessary company research
• Contact information

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Nutty Letter

• Content of Letter
• Make an absurd observation
• Observation about companys product, logo,
  jingle, advertisement
• Offer absurd advice
• Advice about the companys product (name,
  altering product, advertisements)
• Advice about a new product idea
• Make an absurd offer
• Offer to work for the company offer the company
  some product make an absurd request
• Do not request products
• Do request right to market absurd product under
  company name or something strikingly similar to
  company name
• Do request absurd privilege (Would like to
  bring...to your motel) Do request information

5
Nutty Letter

• Voice
• Balance between real and absurd
• Odd traits
• Overuse of
• Inconsistent diction
• Combination of genius and idiot vocabulary
• Incorrect use of words
• Sudden change in topic

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Nutty Letter

• Your Letter
• You will write a 3-4 paragraph letter
• 1-introductory paragraph 1-2 body paragraphs
  1-concluding paragraph
• Your letter will be a properly formatted,
  professional letter
• Your letter will offer some nutty observation
  recall a nutty experience offer nutty
  advice make a nutty request or seek nutty
  information...In short, you will write a nutty
  letter
• The challenge is to be original AND to voice it
  in such a way that the reader thinks that you
  probably only have one oar in the water
• You will not make a request for a product
  (directly or parenthetically)
• Click to See Examples
• of Actual Letters Sent and Responded to...

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Nutty Letter
410 South Lincoln Sandpoint, ID 83864 March 27,
2004 Mr. Donald Kendall, President Pepsico 700
Anderson Hill Road Purchase, NY 10577 Dear Mr.
President Getting bit by a dog hurts. You know
what, though? Having icy cold Mountain Dew pour
out of your nose holes really hurts! Thats why I
am writing to you, Mr. President.
You see, sir, last week while attending a movie
(or what Grandma calls a Talkie,) I was sipping
from a cup filled with ice cold Mountain Dew
cola. Just then, one of the characters on the
screen (Starsky, maybe Hutch?) began singing a
song. The hilarity overwhelmed the very nucleus
of my soul. While attempting to laugh, a horrific
K sound shot from the back of my throat as my
body fought desperately to separate the Mountain
Dew going down the tube inside my neck from the
oxygen bursting free from the alveoli that
exchange oxygen and carbon monoxide around my
breathing bags. The oxygen won, rerouting the
Mountain Dew through my nose tubes and out of my
nose holes!
What followed was no laughing matter, no sir! I
began gagging, I dont know if you know the lady
sitting in front of me but believe me, she was no
lady! (She had earlier accused me of getting gum
in her hair. I told her that if she couldnt
tell the difference between gum and gummy bears,
shed better go back to candy school!) As I
gasped for air, she yelled, Wretch, wretch! I
dont even know what that means! I do know this,
Mountain Dew spraying out of your nose holes
hurts like the dickens.
While I dont blame the Mountain Dew Corporation,
it is my sincere hope that Mountain Dew places
warning labels on the side of their products,
maybe something like, Warning Mountain Dew
Spilling Out of Your Nose Holes Hurts. Maybe a
skull and crossbones, too. I believe that this
warning in combination with your delicious
product will give you a Super Product. Also, I
think it would be great if you added more of a
kick to your product and called it Mount Everest
Dew. What can be bigger than that? I look
forward to hearing from you concerning my
ideas. Sincerely, Buddy Dale

• 410 South Lincoln
• Sandpoint, ID 83864
• March 27, 2004
• Mr. Donald Kendall, President
• Pepsico
• 700 Anderson Hill Road
• Purchase, NY 10577
• Dear Mr. President
• Getting bit by a dog hurts. You know what,
  though? Having icy cold Mountain Dew pour out of
  your nose holes really hurts! Thats why I am
  writing to you, Mr. President.
• You see, sir, last week while attending a movie
  (or what Grandma calls a Talkie,) I was sipping
  from a cup filled with ice cold Mountain Dew
  cola. Just then, one of the characters on the
  screen (Starsky, maybe Hutch?) began singing a
  song. The hilarity overwhelmed the very nucleus
  of my soul. While attempting to laugh, a horrific
  K sound shot from the back of my throat as my
  body fought desperately to separate the Mountain
  Dew going down the tube inside my neck from the
  oxygen bursting free from the alveoli that
  exchange oxygen and carbon monoxide around my
  breathing bags. The oxygen won, rerouting the
  Mountain Dew through my nose tubes and out of my
  nose holes!
• What followed was no laughing matter, no sir! I
  began gagging, I dont know if you know the lady
  sitting in front of me but believe me, she was no
  lady! (She had earlier accused me of getting gum
  in her hair. I told her that if she couldnt
  tell the difference between gum and gummy bears,
  shed better go back to candy school!) As I
  gasped for air, she yelled, Wretch, wretch! I
  dont even know what that means! I do know this,
  Mountain Dew spraying out of your nose holes
  hurts like the dickens.
• While I dont blame the Mountain Dew Corporation,
  it is my sincere hope that Mountain Dew places
  warning labels on the side of their products,
  maybe something like, Warning Mountain Dew
  Spilling Out of Your Nose Holes Hurts. Maybe a
  skull and crossbones, too. I believe that this
  warning in combination with your delicious
  product will give you a Super Product. Also, I
  think it would be great if you added more of a
  kick to your product and called it Mount Everest
  Dew. What can be bigger than that? I look
  forward to hearing from you concerning my
  ideas.
• Sincerely,
• Buddy Dale

8
Nutty Letter
Pepsi-Cola Company April 8, 2004 Mr. Buddy
Dale 410 South Lincoln Sandpoint, ID 843864 Dear
Mr. Dale Thank you for taking the time to write
to use here at Pepsi Cola Company. Your letter to
Mr. Donald Kendall was forwarded to my attention
with a request to personally respond. It is
always a pleasure to hear from you, Mr. Dale.
Its been almost two years since we last
corresponded, and I hope all is well with you and
yours. Were so glad that you are one of our
biggest fans. While we were sorry to learn of
your experience in the movie theatre, we want you
to know that your friendship and support of our
brands is greatly appreciated. Again, we
appreciate your feedback and have taken the
liberty of sending you something that we hope you
will enjoy. Sincerely, Rebecca Smith Manager,
Consumer Communication

• The Response...

9
Nutty Letter

• 615 Lake Street
• Sandpoint, ID 83864
• August 6, 2002
• Mr. Charles W. Mooty, CEO of IDQ, Inc.
• International DQ, Inc.
• 7505 Metro Blvd.
• Minneapolis, MN 55439
• Dear Mr. Mooty
• Do you know what Brain Freeze is? If not, you
  should! In addition to serving up a multitude of
  innovative and delicious cold drinks, your
  company also gives out more of these than
  probably anybody in the world.
• A few weeks ago while in Missoula, Montana, I was
  very, very thirsty, but I had a PLAN! I entered
  the mal and walked straight past Fuddruckers to
  my favorite producer of cold drinks. One
  Strawberry Julius, I said to the young,
  enthusiastic salesperson. After the teasing sound
  of the blender, I was presented with my delicious
  drink. We exchanged money and I hungrily wrapped
  my lips around that plastic, hollow thingy and
  took the biggest suck of my life. The only thing
  I really remember after that is pounding my palm
  against my forehead. I thought that I had
  shouted, Brain Freeze! repeatedly, but most by
  standers swear to hearing me shout, UhhhhgOh
  GodUuuuhUhhhg . I backpedaled into some
  tables, knocking over two teenage boys wearing
  huge pants and backwards visors.
• I sat at home for a long time after that, sipping
  warm water and thinking about how amazingly cold
  that Strawberry Julius was. I wondered why it
  isnt just frozen solid and then realized if it
  were it would never fit up the plastic, hollow
  thingy. How does it know how big the thingy is?
  Even though I plan to gauge my sucks in the
  future, I was thinking that maybe you could put
  warning labels on your drinks BEWARE This
  Deliciously Cold Drink Might Freeze Your Brain.
  Drink Slowly! Maybe some skull and crossbones,
  too. I was thinking about standing near the
  Orange Julius and giving verbal warnings but I
  didnt like the way those kids with the visors
  looked at me. If those kids are gone, I would be
  willing to go back and say things like, Easy,
  easy, not too much at once, to people who appear
  to be going hog wild on their drink.
• If you think your company would like me to be a
  guest speaker or someone who stands at various
  Orange Juliuss to give warnings on the dangers
  of brain freeze, let me know I think I would be
  great. Also, I think it would be great if you
  made a drink for two called the Romeo and
  Julius. What do you think?

Click to View this Nutty Letter
10
Nutty Letter
A few weeks ago while in Missoula, Montana, I was
very, very thirsty, but I had a PLAN! I entered
the mall and walked straight past Fuddruckers to
my favorite producer of cold drinks. One
Strawberry Julius, I said to the young,
enthusiastic salesperson. After the teasing sound
of the blender, I was presented with my delicious
drink. We exchanged money and I hungrily wrapped
my lips around that plastic, hollow thingy and
took the biggest suck of my life. The only thing
I really remember after that is pounding my palm
against my forehead. I thought that I had
shouted, Brain Freeze! repeatedly, but most by
standers swear to hearing me shout, UhhhhgOh
GodUuuuhUhhhg . I backpedaled into some
tables, knocking over two teenage boys wearing
huge pants and backwards visors.
I sat at home for a long time after that, sipping
warm water and thinking about how amazingly cold
that Strawberry Julius was. I wondered why it
isnt just frozen solid and then realized if it
were it would never fit up the plastic, hollow
thingy. How does it know how big the thingy is?
Even though I plan to gauge my sucks in the
future, I was thinking that maybe you could put
warning labels on your drinks BEWARE This
Deliciously Cold Drink Might Freeze Your Brain.
Drink Slowly! Maybe some skull and crossbones,
too. I was thinking about standing near the
Orange Julius and giving verbal warnings but I
didnt like the way those kids with the visors
looked at me. If those kids are gone, I would be
willing to go back and say things like, Easy,
easy, not too much at once, to people who appear
to be going hog wild on their drink.
If you think your company would like me to be a
guest speaker or someone who stands at various
Orange Juliuss to give warnings on the dangers
of brain freeze, let me know I think I would be
great. Also, I think it would be great if you
made a drink for two called the Romeo and
Julius. What do you think? Your Loyal
Customer Buddy Dale Buddy Dale

• 615 Lake Street
• Sandpoint, ID 83864
• August 6, 2002
• Mr. Charles W. Mooty, CEO of IDQ, Inc.
• International DQ, Inc.
• 7505 Metro Blvd.
• Minneapolis, MN 55439
• Dear Mr. Mooty
• Do you know what Brain Freeze is? If not, you
  should! In addition to serving up a multitude of
  innovative and delicious cold drinks, your
  company also gives out more of these than
  probably anybody in the world.

11
Nutty Letter
THE RESPONSE
12
Nutty Letter

• August 29, 2002
• Buddy Dale
• 615 Lake Street
• Sandpoint, ID 83864
• Dear Mr. Dale
• Thank you for contacting Orange Julius of America
  (OJA) regarding your concern with brain freeze at
  the Orange Julius store located in Missoula, MT.
  I appreciate your taking the time to contact us
  and relate the details of your experience.
• Indeed our Orange Julius drinks are frozen and
  one must be careful to not drink them too fast. I
  have forwarded your suggestions regarding
  warnings to our research and development
  department for their information and
  investigation.
• Thank you, Mr. Dale, for taking the time to share
  your thoughts with us. Please let me know if I
  can be of further assistance to you.
• Best regards,
• ORANGE JULIUS OF AMERICA
• Carolyn Kidder
• Carolyn M. Kidder
• Consumer Relations Manager
• 952/830-0407