Personal Relationships

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Personal Relationships
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Interdependence Theory

• Main Assumptions
• Thibaut Kelley (1959) Kelley Thibaut (1978)
• personal outcomes enhanced through interaction
  with others
• we evaluate the rewards and costs of our own and
  our partners various behaviors in a relationship
• relationship (dyad) is the unit of analysis
  rather than the individual
• both partners actions and preferences impact the
  nature of the relationship
• relationships evolve through repeated interaction

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Interdependence Theory
Floyd
Betty
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Interdependence Theory

• Correspondent Outcomes
• partners outcomes positively correlated
• e.g., Floyd and Betty go to a movie they both
  enjoy
• Non-correspondent Outcomes
• partners outcomes negatively correlated
• e.g., Floyd and Betty go to a movie that Floyd
  enjoys and Betty hates
• social norms often developed in the presence of
  non-correspondent outcomes to coordinate and
  guide behavior

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Interdependence Theory

• Comparison Level (CL)
• what we expect from the relationship
• shaped by past experience and social comparison
• relationship outcomes are compared to established
  CL to determine satisfaction
• Outcomes CL satisfaction level

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Interdependence Theory

• Comparison Level of Alternatives (CL-Alt)
• quality of best alternative relationship
• CL-Alt can also be the absence of a relationship
• the least well settle for in current
  relationship
• if current outcomes are less than our CL-Alt, we
  will end the relationship

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Interdependence Theory

• Relationship Dependence
• Current Outcomes CL-Alt
• Low CL-Alt gives your partner increased power
• High CL-Alt gives you increased power

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Interdependence Theory

• Nonvoluntary and Abusive Relationships
• Nonvoluntary relationships are those in which
  the person is forced to stay even though he (or
  she) would prefer not to The person remains in
  relationships of this sort because heavy costs
  are in some manner associated with being in
  better ones. Thibaut Kelley (1959)
• 40 of women seeking aid at abuse shelters
  eventually return to their partners

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Interdependence Theory

• Rusbult Martz (1995)
• commitment to an abusive partner promoted by
• substantial investments and
• poor alternatives,
• regardless of relationship satisfaction.
• generally NOT an issue of personality (e.g.,
  self-esteem, masochism, psychopathology)
• suggests that the key to helping people get out
  of abusive relationships may be financial and/or
  educational aid rather than psychotherapy

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Interdependence Theory

• Rusbults Investment Model (1983)
• Commitment determined by
• Satisfaction
• Outcomes CL Rewards Costs
• Quality of Alternatives
• CL-Alt
• Investments
• intrinsic (e.g., time, emotions, intimacy)
• extrinsic (e.g., mutual friends, property, shared
  activities)

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Interdependence Theory

• Commitment Equation
• (Rewards Costs) Quality of Alternatives
  Investments Committment
• Commitment, in turn, predicts
• intent to persist in the relationship
• psychological attachment to the relationship
• long-term relationship orientation
• Satisfaction and commitment often co-occur, but
  not always (e.g., abusive relationships)

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Self-Disclosure

• Culture and Self-Disclosure
• Western ideals of good relationship behavior
  include a high level of self-disclosure
• In Japan, the level of self-disclosure is much
  lower
• correlation between self-disclosure and marital
  happiness is culturally dependent

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Self-Disclosure

• Gender Differences
• stereotype that men self-disclose less
• Dindia Allens (1992) meta-analysis found this,
  but overall difference was very small
• women are more likely to disclose weaknesses and
  conceal their strengths
• men are more likely to disclose strengths and
  conceal their weaknesses
• socialization of gender roles

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Self-Expansion

• Self-Expansion Inclusion of Other in Self
• Aron, Aron, Smollan (1992)
• assumes that one reason we enter relationships is
  to acquire new attributes, resources, and
  abilities
• rapid self-expansion in the beginning of
  relationship
• slowing down represents boredom
• however, sharing novel and exciting activities
  facilitates perception of self-expansion
• Inclusion of Other in Self
• I possess my partners attributes

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Inclusion of Other in Self Scale
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Michelangelo Phenomenon

• Partners in satisfying romantic relationships
  report and demonstrate that their partners help
  them to move closer to their ideal selves
• Two incredibly excellent papers
• Rusbult, Kumashiro, Stocker, Wolf (2004)
• Kumashiro, Rusbult, Wolf, Estrada (2005)
• Current research is aimed at determining if this
  is a conscious or subconscious effort on the part
  of the partner

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Balance of Power in Relationships

• Most research has been traditionally conducted on
  heterosexual couples
• researchers are only beginning to analyze the
  power structures in homosexual relationships
• Most heterosexual relationships in the U.S. are
  described as egalitarian by partners
• those that arent are usually male dominated
• satisfaction about the same in egalitarian and
  male-dominated relationships
• female dominated relationships tend to be
  unhappiest

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Balance of Power in Relationships

• Social norms and attitudes
• males historically given more authority in
  heterosexual relationships
• partners with traditional gender roles ? male
  dominated relationships
• Relative resources
• partner with more resources has more power
• Principle of Least Interest
• partner least dependent on the relationship will
  have more power than person with the most
  dependence

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Conflict

• Generally low at the beginning of relationships
• increases as the relationship becomes more
  serious
• Why?
• How conflicts are resolved determines whether
  they benefit or harm the relationship
• conflict can be (and often is) beneficial to a
  relationship

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Committed Relationships

• Positive Illusions
• people in satisfying relationships tend to
  idealize their partners and view their
  relationship as above average
• downplay partners faults and overemphasize
  strengths
• relationships that utilize positive illusions are
  happier and more likely to survive than those
  that dont

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Committed Relationships

• Misremembering the Past
• those in satisfying relationships tend to think
  of their relationship as steadily getting better
  over time (when it probably isnt)
• Forgoing Tempting Alternatives
• Rusbult et al. (1999) speculate that symbols of
  being taken (e.g. wedding rings) ward off
  possible tempting alternative partners
• Cognitive Mechanisms
• assuming the current partner is the best
  available partner, thereby making the mere
  thought of leaving unthinkable

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Committed Relationships

• Attributions for Partners Behavior
• Relationship-Enhancing Attributions
• those in happy relationships make positive
  attributions for their partners bad behavior
• Willingness to sacrifice
• relationships with partners willing to sacrifice
  self-interest for the good of the relationships
  are happier

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Committed Relationships

• Accommodation and Forgiveness
• constructive responses to a partners hurtful
  behavior (and inhibition of reciprocation) is
  associated with happier relationships (Rusbult et
  al., 1999)
• reciprocation of harmful behavior (e.g., insults)
  can lead to conflict spirals
• securely attached adults, those who are strongly
  committed to the relationship, those who take
  their partners perspective, and those with the
  ability to inhibit self-interested impulses are
  less likely to reciprocate destructive behavior
  (Finkel Campbell, 2001)

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Gay and Lesbian Relationships

• Research in this area is lacking but greatly
  increasing
• Satisfaction and Commitment
• no difference in satisfaction for straight, gay,
  or lesbian relationships
• relationship stability difficult to measure
  because of the lack of marriage records
• Interdependence Theory predictions generalize to
  any human relationship