Love, Passion and Positive Emotions

1
Love, Passion and Positive Emotions

• Class 18

2
Behavioral Displays of Emotion
Verbalizing Emotion Conversations Nasty
Travel Agent scenario Marital interactions
Women disclose
Men stonewall    Facial
Expressions   Judges ratings and muscle
activity Women Congruence to
words Women Smiles Women
Verbal Expressiveness Men better at fear, anger

Men do lax toneshame, interest, neutral
speech
3
Emotions In Situations and In Relationships
Who is happier at work and who is happier at
home?   What kinds of situations lead to jealousy
in men and in women?   Who is the recipient of
emotional expression? Culture and
emotions   a. Cultural similarities b.
Individualistic vs. Collectivistic Cultures
4
Physiological Arousal, Emotions and Gender
Marital Conflict Men show more physio arousal
during arguments Greatest BP change re.
Deciding to suppress or express
emotions. Problem w physio and conflict
studylimited to harass- ment anger rather than
feelings of being ignored. Internalizers strong
physio response but little expression Externalizer
s weak physio respons, but much expression
Internalizers?
Men
Externalizers?
Women
5
Why do gender differences exist?
Overview of male and female emotional styles
Men more pride, contempt, loneliness less
self- punishing emotions (shame, embarrassment)
less fear and vulnerability   Women Superior
at recognizing emotions in others (vocal,
behavioral, facial cues). More emotionally
expressive of pos and neg emotions. Express less
anger.
6
Evolutionary explanation of different emotional
styles
1. Women have care-taking role 2. Men have roles
of protectors, dominance
Developmental explanation
1. Temperament differences 2. Different
responses from caregivers 3. Social shaping
4. Role of father
7
Why do women smile more? Putting it all
together.

• a. Temperament
• Smiling is self-reinforcing
• smiling ? pos. affect ? smiling
•  
• c. Social motives smiling is a sign of
  femininity
•  
• d. Emotional IQ Women seem to do emotions
  better
•  
• e. Emotional contagion. Smiling is highly
  reciprocal

8
Smiling Among Women is Overdetermined
9
Elements of Intimacy
Baumeister Bratslavsky definition   a.
Mutual disclosure b. Strong, positive
attitude c. Communication of
affection   Other ingredients
Concern Interdependence
Vulnerability Emotional exchange
10
Elements of Passion

• Physio arousal
• Strong feelings of attraction
• Desire to be united with partner
• d. Sexuality Can have sex w/o passion, but
  cant have passion w/o Sex

11
Additional Aspects of Intimacy and Passion
As intimacy hits plateau, passion
declines Intimacy greater when feelings change
from neg. to pos.
Who are hotter lovers, introverts or extroverts?
Extroverts More open, more intimacy sooner,
stronger passion, more sexually aroused active.
Who have longer relationships, introverts or
extroverts?
Introverts
12
Gender Differences in Love and Passion
Men Women
Fall in love sooner More emotionally
reactive Require more intimacy to feel passion
X
X
X
13
Time Course of Intimacy
Note Y axis shows intimacy ratings X
axis shows time
14
How to Keep Passion Alive
New experiences (home childbirth) Risk of
loss of loved one Fights, arguments, marital
therapy
Evolutionary Innovation to enhance intimacy
Hint Bonobo Apes do it, humans do it, no other
species does itthis way.
Frontal Sex eye contact, communication ? more
intimacy ? more passion
15
Erotomania Love gone mad
Common among lonely, isolated people with no
other psychiatric history. Love object someone
of higher status It it not erotic, more
idealized Convinced that object of affections
loves them. Lasts lifetime Women more than men
suffer from this
16
Subjective Well Being
17
What Does, and Doesnt, Predict SWB
18
SWB and Income
19
Goals and Subjective Well Being (SWB)
SWB enhanced by pursuing intrinsically satisfying
goals Prison evidence
I need self-acceptance, meaning Suffer
more I need biceps, abs Suffer less
Goals that meet fundamental needs ?
happiness Goals and culture West
promotes self-completion, pers. goals ? happy
East promotes community, social goals ?
happy Internally congruent goals Likes
activity, outdoors, excite. ___ Fireman? ___ CEO?
20
Happiness and HeathNun Study
Happiness ? more Immunoglobulin A (S-igA)   Leads
to longer life, Nun study   Sample convent
nuns Review nuns convent applications, why
want to be nuns. Rate applications for happy
vs. negative tone Happy Glory of God,
rapture, serenity Unhappy Avoid sin, teach
damnation Survival rates 60 years
later Happy nuns 80 still alive Unhappy
nuns 55 still alive
21
Self Structure and Well Being
Actual Self Who you truly are, heart of hearts,
at your core. Values, likes, desires Other
selves Self as student, friend, son/daughter,
etc. Self Congruence Are all your various
selves consistent with your actual
self Traits Qualities that make up your
selves (pos. skilled, kindly, competent neg
selfish, lazy, jealous, etc.) Negative
Elaboration (NE) Degree that different kinds of
negative traits apply to your different
selves. QUESTION How do congruence and NE
affect SWB?
22
Happy With Being a Mom (Reich, Harber, Siegel,
in press)
Participants 33 first time expectant
mothers Time 1 Self structure reporting BEFORE
giving birth a. Self-congruence How much
does real me fit with (1) me as a mother
(2) me with the father of my child b.
Neg. Elaboration (NE) How much are my various
selves (real me, me as mother, me with childs
father) filled with negative
traits? Time 2 Feelings of depression AFTER
giving birth
23
Self Structure and Well Being (Reich, Harber,
Siegel, in press)
12
10
8
low NE
Depression
6
high NE
4
2
0
LOW
HIGH
maternal self-congruence
Note. NE Negative elaboration. Amount of neg.
traits w/n selves Maternal self-congruence
whether or not actual self contains me as an
expecting mother and/or me with father of my child