Christ in the Center

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Christ in the Center

• I have been crucified with Christ and I no
  longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I
  live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of
  God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
• Galatians 220

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What we hope to accomplish

• Practical ways to put Christ in the center of our
  lives allowing Him to create our meaning.
• How to redefine our Sense of "Self in Him.
• More fully realizing His "Power" and His
  "Resourcefulness.
• Develop Healthy Relationships.
• How to define "Time in reference to the Eternal
  One.
• Looking at the "World knowing that greater is
  He that is in us then is he that is in the
  world.
• Obtaining our "Higher Purpose through Him.

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1. Meaning

• How do we interpret something?
• What we hold in mind.
• What does it mean to us?
• Is this meaning accurate? Useful? Productive?
  Healthy Empowering?
• Does this meaning encourage love, compassion,
  joy, confidence, etc.?

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Meaning determines

• Our concept of our self.
• Our sense of power resourcefulness.
• Our ability to develop relationships.
• Our view of the world we live in.
• Our relationship with this thing called time.
• Our sense of purpose and intention.

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The Model Summarized

• What does that meaning say to you about
• Your concept of you as a person (Self Matrix)?
• How you view yourself has having adequate or
  inadequate resources to live a productive life
  (Power/Resource Matrix)?
• How you view your relationship to your past, your
  present and how you view your future (Time
  Matrix)?
• How you relate to other people and how you allow
  them to exercise control if any over your life
  (Other Matrix)?
• How you view the world you live in?  Is it a
  friendly or non-friendly place (World Matrix)?
• How your higher purposes affect your life in each
  one of the above and how you view whether or not
  you are and can live out your higher purposes in
  life (Intentional/Purpose Matrix)?

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Meaning is in the center and the determinant
of the other Matrices.
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From the Meaning we give, we create the other
matrices.
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Importance of Putting Christ in the Center of
our Lives

• If it is true that meaning determines our way
  of thinking-feeling-behaving
• Then, if we can learn how to change meaning, we
  can change our thinking, feeling and behaving to
  that which doesnt serve us to that which best
  serves us.
• Christ makes it possible for us to totally change
  the meaning.

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Christ in the Center

• I have been crucified with Christ and I no
  longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I
  live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of
  God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
• Galatians 220

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Meaning is about Thinking.

• Proverbs 237 as a man thinketh so is he.
• Romans 122 And be not conformed to this
  world but be ye transformed by the renewing of
  your mind, that ye may prove what is that good,
  and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

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How do we think?

• Mental Movies pictures, sounds, feelings,
  smells and tastes
• We give meaning to our mental movies with words.

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The structure of meaning.
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We change meaning by

• Editing our movies
• Changing how we talk to ourselves
• Layering old unwanted meanings with the more
  powerful meanings given to us by the Lord ?

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Layering our minds with His thoughts
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By changing the meaning, we can change the other
six areas of our lives

• Others
• World
• purpose

• Self
• Power
• Time

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2a. Self Are you pleased?

• With who you are?
• With what you are?
• What is your nature, purpose, destiny, value,
  etc.?

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2b. Which one(s) of your selves do you need to
improve?

• Self-Confidence
• Self-esteem
• Self-efficacy
• Self-definition
• Self-presentation
• Social Self
• Cultural Self
• Career Self

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By letting Christ be at the center, we create a
new Self.

• 2 Cor 517 Paul says, Therefore, if anyone is in
  Christ, he is a new creation the old has gone,
  the new has come!
• Knowing our position in Christ solves all
  identity issues.
• I know who I am because I know Whose I am.
• And, that is good enough!

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Clothe ourselves with Christ Romans 1314

• Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ,
  and do not think about how to gratify the desires
  of the sinful nature.
• Galatians 326-27 You are all sons of God
  through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who
  were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves
  with Christ.

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Let Humility part of the clothing

• Philippians 23 Do nothing out of selfish
  ambition or vain conceit, but in humility
  consider others better than yourselves.
• Luke 2225b the greatest among you should be
  like the youngest, and the one who rules like the
  one who serves.

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Lets clothe ourselves in His Righteousness.

• Proverbs 1024 What the wicked dreads will
  overtake him what the righteous desire will be
  granted.
• Romans 322 - This righteousness from God comes
  through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.

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Clothing ourselves with Christ
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3. The Power Matrix

• The sense of power or resourcefulness makes all
  the difference in the world between living with a
  weak response style or a weak one.
• Its the difference between learned helplessness
  and learned optimism.
• A healthy Power Matrix enables us to affect
  change in our lives.

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Power/Resource Do you view yourself as
resourceful?

• The meanings you give to your ability to take
  effective action in the world
• What can you do?
• What skills can you develop?
• What are your capabilities?
• Can you cope with things?
• Can you master yourself, run your own brain and
  plan your own future?

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Power Matrix
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Intentional/Outcome Frames

• Can I handle this challenge?
• Can I manage my own mind and emotions around
  these challenges?
• Can I take effective action in the world and be
  successful with this challenge?
• What can I do to fix this?
• How can I control everything?
• Can I find anyone to assist me in learning how to
  regain my power?

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Attempt to Exercise Power

• I am going to try to control this?
• I am going to try to control every word that
  comes out of my mouth.
• I am going to control my behavior rather than my
  behavior controlling me.
• I need to change.
• I must not get back into that old unresourceful
  and powerless state.

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The Meaning Table

• Loss of control
• Frustration
• Lack of protection
• I cant be enough.
• I am terrified of ___.
• I should be doing better.
• I have to do better.

• I cannot be resourceful.
• I have to do something.
• I have to get it done.
• I have given my power away.
• Etc.

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Modeling Optimism - Seligman

• Learned Helplessness
• Personal
• Pervasive
• Permanent

• Learned Optimism
• Not Personal
• Not Pervasive
• Not Permanent

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Being in Control

• What have we mapped in terms of our abilities,
  skills, potentials, capabilities, etc.?
• Does it give us a sense of ability, power and
  control?
• Do you have a sense of control in life, power
  over your own life, your own mind, body and
  emotions?
• Do you feel like the driver of your own bus or a
  passenger in the back going for a ride?
• How have you mapped the sense of control?
• Did you grow up in an environment that was safe,
  secure, and that gradually allowed you to take
  more and more control over your life?

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Scale of Emotions
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Activating Power Matrix

• Anything that challenges us activates it.
• Create meaning frames which will validate the
  idea of being empowered.
• Recognize our fallibility stop focusing on what
  you cant do.
• Focus on what we care about.
• Let go of past childhood limiting beliefs.

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He is our power.

• Phil 413 I can do everything through him who
  gives me strength.
• By letting Christ be center of our lives the
  gives me the Power and Resources (3 Power) to
  live in this world successfully

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He is our resource.

• Acts 18 But you will receive power when the
  Holy Spirit comes on you and you will be my
  witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and
  Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.
• When He commands He provides.
• Micah 38 But as for me, I am filled with power
  with the Spirit of the LORD, and with justice and
  might.

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God is with us Joshua 11-5

• After the death of Moses the servant of the
  LORD, the LORD said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses
  aide Moses my servant is dead. Now then, you
  and all these people, get ready to cross the
  Jordan River into the land I am about to give to
  themto the Israelites. I will give you every
  place where you set your foot, as I promised
  Moses. Your territory will extend from the desert
  to Lebanon, and from the great river, the
  Euphratesall the Hittite countryto the Great
  Sea on the west. No one will be able to stand up
  against you all the days of your life. As I was
  with Moses, so I will be with you I will never
  leave you nor forsake you.

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4. Time What kind of relationship do you have
with time?

• Time is a concept. It isnt real.
• Do you have a positive relationship with time?
• Do you live in the past, present or future?
• How easily can you move from one time to another
  time?
• Do you have enough time?

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Time Orientation

• Have you ever walked out the door of your home
  and stumbled on a hunk of time?
• Time is another one of those concepts that begins
  as a process but we language it into a thing
  a nominalization.
• Therefore, time is not real outside the realm of
  thought.

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The Three Tenses of English

• English has three basic tenses for Time past,
  present and future.
• From these we construct our concept of time by
  comparing events that have happened (past), with
  those that are now happening (present) and with
  those that will happen (future).
• By being able to hold these mental constructs in
  mind and compare them, we construct time.

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Where do you place your attention? It matters!

• Where do you spend most of your time focusing
  your thinking
• The past ?
• The present ?
• The future ?
• Most of us have a preference.

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Time focus and emotional hurts

• Most of our emotional issues are rooted in past
  hurts and most of them from childhood.
• How to depress yourself focus on the past but
  only the hurtful memories and associate into
  those memories. ?
• If you only focus on the good memories, it wont
  work.

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Figure Past Focus
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Dr John Burton

• What would happen if we looked into our desired
  future to decide how to respond to our present?
• (As opposed to looking back to a hurtful past)
• This would result in a person being outcome
  directed.

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Anticipatory Anxiety

• It is easy to look into the future and anticipate
  running the problem state that we have ran so
  many times before.
• Be careful doing that or you will get labeled or
  diagnosed as having an anxiety disorder.
• When going to the future, create hope !

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Michael Hall about Time

• Theres an intelligence (or lack thereof) to our
  relationship to these temporal (time) concepts.
• Healthy IQ and EQ relates to time in several
  ways
• Being able to live in the now with an eye on the
  future
• While using the past for learnings
• We have a great strategy for time.

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Unresourceful Meaning Frames

• I am afraid my problem is permanent.
• It has always been this way. No one can help me.
• I am not making progress. It is useless.
• I cant live in the now with a past like I had.
• My future will be filled with the same old pain
  as the past. Nothing changes.

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By letting Christ be the center of our lives, we
have a dynamic relationship with this concept
called Time.(4 Time).
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He gives us Eternal Life.

• John 316
• Romans 148 For whether we live, we live unto
  the Lord and whether we die, we die unto the
  Lord whether we live therefore, or die, we are
  the Lords.

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Is time irrelevant?

• Romans 818 , For I reckon that the sufferings
  of this present time are not worthy to be
  compared with the glory which shall be revealed
  in us.
• By being crucified with Christ, having our
  meaning from Him makes time irrelevant for we are
  in Him the timeless one.

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Renewing our place in and relationship to Time.
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5. Other / Relationship How successful have you
been in your relationships?

• What you understand, believe and expect from
  others?
• What meanings have you connected about those you
  like?
• About those you invest your life in and bond
  with?
• What meanings have you given those you dont like?

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The Other Matrix

• The Other or Relational Matrix reflects how we
  have mapped out and developed our meanings about
  what we understand, believe and expect of others.
• It refers to what we think and feel about the
  idea of connection, whether this is a good and
  valued thing or a dangerous and fearful thing.

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Questions

• What do we think or feel about people? About
  human nature?
• What meanings have we constructed about those we
  like and connect with?
• About those we invest ourselves in and bond with?
• About those we dislike and avoid?

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Questions about Human Nature

• Who are people?
• What are people like?
• What is it like relating to them?
• What is the nature of relationships?
• What can I expect of people?
• What skills do I have for getting along, creating
  rapport, understanding?

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Social-Emotional Skills

• Love
• Support
• Affection
• Friendship
• Affiliation
• Connection
• Intimacy

• Included
• Being included
• Trust
• Trustworthiness,
• Betrayal
• Etc.

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Developed from our Caregivers

• From our caregivers we develop our maps and give
  meaning and importance or fearfulness of
  connecting, relating, loving, being open, being
  vulnerable, etc.

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Directed Related to Self Matrix

• Originally we experienced them as one.
• Then in the developmental nature of growing up,
  we individualize and become dependent and then
  eventually independent.
• Independence allows us to stand on our own
  becoming independent of others.

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Critical Thinking Part I

• When do other people judge you?
• Where do they judge you?  Where do they not judge
  you?
• How do you know they are judging you? Are you
  absolutely certain that they are judging you?
• How do you do the process of mind-reading that
  they are judging you? What do you see, hear, feel
  and how do you talk to yourself in order to
  create the fear of their judging you?
• What do you do with your breath?  How does your
  breathing change?
• How do your facial features change from when you
  perceive that people are judging you to those
  times that you do not perceive people are judging
  you?

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Critical Thinking Part II

• What thoughts are driving the experience of
  fearing that others are judging you?
• What are the thoughts in the back of the mind
  about that? And what thought is behind that? Etc.
  Keep asking the back-of-the-mind question until
  there are no other thoughts or questions there.
• Do you have any memories that contribute to
  fearing that others are judging you?
• Are those events now present in your life or are
  they old and presently irrelevant?
• Do you have any imaginations about what others
  judging you will lead to?
• What fearful apprehensions?
• Do those imaginations and fears serve you? If
  not, what will?

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We have Four Core Central Powers
Two Inner Powers
Two Public or Outer Powers
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Push Away Judgments

• As you own your own powers, give other people
  permission to own their own powers without you
  judging what they may or may not think of you.
• Visualize yourself pushing them away from
  stealing your power.
• We only have One Judge God and that is enough!

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Run Meta-No/Yes Pattern

• Say No to what others may think, feel, say or
  behave towards you.
• Say Yes to owning your own thinking feeling,
  speaking and behaving.

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Take Ownership

• Responsibility for establishes personal
  accountability.
• The word responsibility refers to ones ability
  to respond power to act.
• Ask yourself, Do I realistically have power over
  someone elses four powers?
• Or, are they and they alone responsible for how
  they think, feel, speak and behave?

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Responsible For/To

• Notice how you feel when you say, I am
  response-able for my thoughts, feelings and
  behavior.
• Now say, I am responsible to others but never
  for what others, think, feel say or do.

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By letting Christ be the center of our lives, we
will live in obedience to the Greatest
Commandment which calls upon us to love God and
to love our neighbor (5 Others).
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Matthew 2237-40

• Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord
  thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy
  soul, and with thy entire mind. This is the first
  and great commandment. And the second is like
  unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as
  thyself. On these two commandments hang all the
  law and the prophets. ?

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Relationships 3 Legged Stool
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We are to love our enemies.Matthew 545

• You have heard that it was said, Love your
  neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you
  Love your enemies and pray for those who
  persecute you, that you may be sons of your
  Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on
  the evil and the good, and sends rain on the
  righteous and the unrighteous.

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Loving others an example

• Mother Teresa of Calcutta once was asked, "How
  do you measure the success of your work?" She
  looked puzzled for a moment and then replied, "I
  don't remember that the Lord ever spoke of
  success. He spoke only of faithfulness in love.
  This is the only success that really counts."

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6. The World Do you enjoy your world?

• Everything outside ourselves in all of the
  contexts or worlds in which we react and relate
• What is your world like? Is it friendly or
  unfriendly?
• Is it a place of scarcity or abundance?
• Is it fearful or exciting?
• Is it dangerous or wonderful?

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The way we Map our World

• Is a product of how we view our sense of
• Self
• Others
• Power and Resourcefulness
• If one views oneself as competent, resourceful,
  strong, respectful, etc., one will have little
  problem navigating the world.

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Ego-Strength 1

• Ego-strength in psychology refers to our
  cognitive strength.
• A person with a healthy ego strength has the
  ability to effectively adjust to, and respond to,
  whatever reality the world gives them.

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Ego-Strength 2

• A person who has a healthy ego-strength faces the
  world as it is without flinching.
• This person knows that he/she has the needed
  resources to meet the challenges that comes.
• A weak ego-strength person will be highly
  threatened by real or perceived threats.

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The Map Is Not the TerritoryThose who change

• Recognize the value of creating a map that
  accurately, as far as symbolically possible, maps
  the present moment.
• Recognize that their map is not the territory and
  will eliminate the problem of cause-effect in
  their lives.
• Recognize that the words and images inside their
  heads are not real in the sense that they are
  absolute and unchangeable.

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By letting Christ be the center of our lives, we
will accept the world as a place that we can live
in without fear but with confidence and joy (6
World).
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I John 44

• dear children, are from God and have overcome
  them, because the one who is in you is greater
  than the one who is in the world.

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Say No and then Yes.
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7. Purpose/ Intention Are you living a
purposeful life?

• Your sense of direction, goals, reasons,
  motivation, purpose and intentions.
• What are you seeking to accomplish?
• What do you want?
• What is your purpose or agenda?
• What are you living for?
• Why is that important to you?
• Why do you give yourself to that?

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Intention In every Matrix

• You have already been introduced to the Intention
  Matrix.
• In every Matrix, behind each one, there dwells
  higher intentions.
• These higher intentions primarily operate
  unconsciously.
• See Table ?

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Finding Higher Intentions

• Ask
• What is your intent?
• What is your purpose in that?
• By having that (name the purpose), what does
  having that give you that is even more important?

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Meta-Stating Intentions

• Every thought has two levels or dimensions
• Attention what is in your immediate perception
  what is on your mind.
• Intention thoughts in the back of our mind,
  higher thoughts what is your motivation,
  agenda, or intention in doing that?

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Lets walk our talk.

• Lets align our higher purposes of being in the
  Lords will with our behaviors.

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Figure 95
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By letting Christ be the center of our lives, He
is our purpose, period. (7 Purpose)
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2 Timothy 46-9

• For I am now ready to be offered, and the time
  of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good
  fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the
  faith Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown
  of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous
  judge, shall give me at that day and not to me
  only, but unto all them also that love his
  appearing.

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By changing the meaning, we can change the other
six areas of our lives

• Others
• World
• purpose

• Self
• Power
• Time