The Meaning of Relationship in Modern China

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The Meaning of Relationship in Modern China
Honors Project

• Presented by Tracy

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Introduction

• Defined as coherent patterns of communication
  between people, relationships bear cultural
  identity. In China, the word relationship has a
  negative undertone, designating the interpersonal
  bond characterized by mutual exploitation,
  dominant power currency, and vast outreach. It
  can be loosely identified as usefulness-motivated
  friendship, but it can also exist within family
  relationship.

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• An example of this relationship
• Person A wants a promotion, and knowing that
  Bthe brother of the company head Chappens to be
  his old classmate, he visits Bs residence with
  gifts and compliments, requesting Bs
  recommendation. If, by Bs influence, A gets the
  promotion, relationship is established between A
  and B, whereby B can conveniently request As
  help in the future.

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Analyze the Relationship

• It is helpful to model this relationship in
  terms of power currency and favor vouchers. By
  recruiting the help of intermediatespeople who
  cannot grant the favor but nonetheless hold
  interpersonal linkage, one gets access to the
  holder of resource control and negotiates
  desired outcome. In the process, one pledges
  return of favor to both the resource holder and
  the intermediates. The more power currency you
  hold, the more favor vouchers you can claim,
  either in terms of money or service.

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The Importance of Intermediates

• Except on rare occasions, one must toil
  through many links of interpersonal connection
  before reaching the resource holder. Thats why
  many people consider the maintenance of a trusty
  relationship web with numerous intermediates a
  crucial way of survival. Sometimes, such
  relationships are nicknamed friends over
  mealsa jargon in Chinese language, where meal
  refers to social gathering with specific rules of
  communication.

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Rules of Communication

• Respectful, complimenting verbal language
• Social rituals like passing cigarettes around the
  table and vying to pay the dinner bill
• Bring up past personal connection
• We used to work in the same company
• Our fathers grew up in the same town
• Addressing each other with appropriate, sometimes
  exalted social title
• Calling the vice president of a company
  president

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Identity Construction

• Like any other communication, the social
  gathering involves identity construction. By
  relating to each other, either in genuine or
  fabricated terms, people establish themselves as
  interdependent partners, with a mutual stake in
  maintaining the relationship. The social
  gathering also carries the common knowledge that
  power balance is not absolute. For example, A may
  request Bs assistance in one situation, but
  their roles can be reversed in another.
  Therefore, people usually do not act overtly
  inferior or superior, but only negotiate their
  terms in subtle conversational exchanges.

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Betrayal

• The consequence of betrayal in such
  relationship is severe, because, as best depicted
  by a Chinese adage, a flabby joint can cause the
  whole frame to collapse. If one promises
  repayment to an intermediate but fails to do so,
  one can face not only refusal of future
  assistance, but also defamation of ones
  credibility, alienation from associates of the
  offended intermediate, and other negative
  influence the intermediate is able to exert.

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Relationships Daily Life

• For a typical Chinese salary man, the web of
  relationships reaches into his work, his wifes
  work, his kids education, and even his parents
  housing. Thus entangled, one cannot easily retire
  from the web without significant impact on his
  life. Partially, the cause of my visa ordeal last
  year was my moms resignation from a hospital in
  Chengdu. The president of the hospital, angered
  by her departure, refused to sign the waiver
  required for our visa at first, and only agreed
  eventually by the influence from my dads web of
  relationships.

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Conclusion

• The author of Together apparently admires the
  Eastern emphasis on co-dependence and
  collaboration. However, from my own experience, I
  have to caution against losing ones independent
  self in overwhelmingly binding relationships. A
  society in which one cannot function without
  relying on others is essentially a society where
  no uniqueness shines. And Im sure thats not the
  ultimate goal of interpersonal communication.