My Husband Cheated - How do I live Through the Pain?

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• You keep hearing it in your head but you still
  cant believe it. My husband cheated on me. Is
  this a nightmare that Ill soon wake up from and
  forget? Did this happen to ME?

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• More than every thing, you just want it to go
  away. You want to restore the life that you knew,
  that you thought was safe, with the one you love.
  But how can you deal with the disappointment, the
  jealousy, the anger, the shock, the fear, the
  frustration and how do you pull out the knife
  that was stuck in your back?
• These are the Five Most Common Shockwaves You
  Have to Struggle With

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1 How Could This Have Happened to Me?

• There are two steps to deal with this question.
  The first one is to cry it out. Let the tears run
  wild, feel sorry for yourself and allow the grief
  to take over. But just for a while. When the
  tears subside, take a deep breath and go to the
  second step.
• The second step is to actually try an answer this
  question by yourself. How did it happen? What
  were the events that lead to the infidelity in
  your marriage?
• In this sense the question is incredibly
  important.

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2 How Long has it been Going on Without My
Knowledge?

• After the initial shock, you may start to feel
  foolish. How could I be so blind and not know
  that dear husband is cheating? You feel like
  youve been like a sucker. Deceived and utterly
  betrayed.
• If you feel like a dope for being lied to so
  easily, you are being too hard on yourself. It
  doesnt say anything about your character and it
  has nothing to do with your intelligence.

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• An affair is a result of a long process. Its
  hard to notice every little sign that an affair
  is about to happen and sometimes we just really
  dont want to see the signs. We push away the
  concerns and suspicions because its the last
  thing we want to deal with.

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3 Are There Other People Who Know and Didnt
Tell Me?

• If the betrayal is not enough, you may feel even
  more betrayed if you find out that other people
  knew about his affair before you did, and never
  told you. Its normal to feel this way, but right
  now you have to remember that this crisis is
  between you and your spouse, not between you and
  them. After that, try to give them the benefit of
  the doubt until you hear their explanation.

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4 Can I Ever Trust Him Again?

• Its a very reasonable question. He has broken
  your trust and trust can not be restored once
  its broken, right?
• Wrong. The truth is that you CAN trust again, if
  your spouse can learn to be totally transparent,
  trustworthy and demonstrate his willingness by
  showing you in other ways that he deserves your
  trust.

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• But this is a process that involves some critical
  steps and in my opinion Not something that the
  both of you can do without professional help.
• If this is the hardest part in your journey to
  survive an affair I highly recommend this guide
  to get you through it and achieve a better better
  relationship than ever.

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 5 Is My Relationship Over?

• No and no. Im saying this assuming that your
  spouse hasnt picked up his things and left. That
  he chose and keeps choosing you every day ever
  since this happened. That he insists he wants to
  solve this.

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• Your marriage or relationship isnt over if you
  dont want it to be. In fact, Im a living proof
  that you can save your relationship and even have
  a better one than ever, if you take advantage of
  this crisis and rebuild the honesty and the love
  The right way.

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• No, you are NOT a doormat if you choose to stay
  with him. You are not a sucker and you are not
  making a mistake, and dont let anyone poison you
  with these negative feelings.
• But, and I cant emphasize this enough, dont try
  to do this on your own.

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• So many people attempt to survive an affair
  without some kind of professional help only to
  find themselves stuck in a vicious circle of
  anger, resentment, negative emotions and
  mistrust.

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There are critical steps you have to take if you
want to do this right

• First you have to start with individual healing
  Understanding personal healing and sorting
  through your emotions (betrayal. disappointment,
  vengefulness, fear, paranoia, anger).
• The second step is healing as a couple Working
  together to identify and resolve key issues in
  your relationship.
• The third step is negotiating a renewed
  relationship How to rebuild and sustain a new,
  loving, trust filled partnership.

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• You can find exactly how to do all of this In
  this excellent guide and workbook.