Bullying

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(No Transcript)
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Bullying

• Basic Facts
• The Bullier
• The Bullied
• The Bystander
• The Bully and the Bible

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1. Basic Facts What is Bullying?

• Bullying is when one person (or a group of
  people) repeatedly hurts someone else.
• Sometimes the one being bullied is smaller,
  weaker, and may have less confidence.
• Bullying usually involves more teasing than
  actually hitting, but it can also include hiding
  or stealing of personal property.
• Bullying is often done on purpose, and it can
  happen anywhere at home, at school, at Church,
  on a sports team, etc.
• Often the person being bullied does not know how
  to defend himself or herself.

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Bullying Statistics for the City of Brownsville

• 4 out of 4 students are bullied teased, yelled
  at, shoved, even hit. 
• 1 out of 5 students admits to being a bully, or
  doing some bullying.
• 1 out of every 10 students misses 1 day of class
  per month for fear of bullies.
• Every 5 seconds a student is bullied in
  Brownsville.
• Only 1 out of every 5 bystanders will try to
  stop the bullying.
• There are as many girl bullies as there are boy
  bullies, and girls can be the meanest.

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What can Bullying Be?

• Leaving someone out of group activities on
  purpose, such as being part of a group and not
  letting others join
• Ignoring someone giving them the silent
  treatment
• Making faces and/or bad gestures with your hands
  at someone
• Using people to get what you want, such as making
  friends with someone who is smart just so they
  can help you with your homework
• Making fun of someone for being different
• Forcing someone to do something embarrassing or
  dangerous in order to join a group
• Name-calling, teasing, gossiping, spreading
  rumors.
• Hair pulling, biting, pinching, scratching
• Threatening, scaring others, staring at others
• Hitting, punching, kicking, shoving

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Other Facts About Bullying

• Bullying is wrong, and it should not happen.
• Bullying is not fair.
• Bullying is not the fault of the person who is
  bullied.
• Everyone is bullied during their lifetimes some
  people are bullied more than others.
• Bullying can be stopped.
• Bullying must be reported.
• Even young children are bullied. The girl in this
  picture is in Kindergarten.

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2. The Bully

• What do bullies look like?

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Most bullies look just like you and me!
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Why is it helpful to know more about how bullies
became bullies?

• Almost all bullies have problems of their own.
  Someone else bullies them a parent, a brother,
  sister, or other relative, someone from their
  neighborhood or school. Bullying is a way they
  use to hide their own problems.
• Some bullies do not get any attention at home or
  at school they soon learn that the only way
  they might get any attention is to bully someone.
  Then people are paying attention to them,
  including the person being bullied and the
  bystanders.
• Some bullies feel like they can do anything and
  not get into trouble.
• Many bullies stay bullies until someone stands up
  to them, and then they stop.
• Some bullies are just looking for a fight.
• Some bullies hang around with a group. If that
  group isnt there, then they dont bully.

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Something you need to know about bullies

• When a person acts like a bully regularly, he
  starts to look like a bully.
• People do not realize there is a person who has
  become stuck inside a bully costume.

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And, that is why people who start out being
bullies as children
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Continue their bullying as teenagers
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And, even into adulthood
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Are You A Bully?Many young people are bullies
both in school and outside of school. Some may
not realize that what they are doing is bullying.
Take this quiz to see if you are a bully.
Silently keep track of how many yes answers you
have.

• Do you make mean faces or hand signs to others?
• Do you spread rumors or say mean things about
  others behind their back?
• Do you make fun of or tease other students?
• Do you whisper secrets to a friend in front of
  another person and then not share the secret with
  him or her on purpose?
• Have you purposely not invited someone to hang
  out with you and your friends?
• Have you ever been part of a group and you will
  not let others join in or you cannot be friends
  with anyone else?
• Do you make fun of others because they are
  different from you? (Hair, skin color, etc.)
• Have you ever threatened to hurt someone?
• Have you ever punched, shoved, or hit another boy
  or girl?

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What can you do if you are a bully?

• Recognize and admit to yourself that you have
  bullied others.
• Admit that your actions are hurting others. Stop
  and consider how they are feeling.
• Put yourself in their shoes how would you feel
  if you were being bullied.
• Talk to an adult and ask for help with specific
  situations.
• Develop new friendships and new relationships.
• Talk to God. Ask for His help. Pray.
• If you are bullying others because you are angry
  talk to someone you trust.
• Change your actions, and be friendly to others.
  No more bullying.

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Did you know that being a bully can also cause
you serious problems?

• The young man pictured on the left was expelled
  from school. The students he bullied filed a law
  suit against him and won. He and his family moved
  out of town.
• Bullying can lead to trouble at school with
  teachers and students and bad grades.
• Most bullies are more likely to take drugs and
  alcohol.
• Almost all young people who are caught
  shoplifting and who get into trouble outside of
  school were bullies in elementary school.
• Childhood bullies are violent when they get
  older.

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2. The Bullied How does it feel to be bullied?
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Things You Can Do To Prevent Being Bullied

• Choose True or False after each statement
• Tell someone sometimes telling someone else is
  enough if they dont know, they cant help.
  (T or F)
• Try to avoid or ignore the bully. (T or
  F)
• Talk with the bully. Explain how you feel. (T or
  F)
• Give in to the bully. (T or F)
• Agree with the bully by turning his insults into
  compliments. (T or F)

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Ways to Handle Bullies and Teasers1. Turn
Insults Into Compliments

• If bullies and teasers are made because they are
  ignored or bullied themselves, then the best way
  to un-make them is _________________________.
• It is easy. Ignore the bullys words but do not
  ignore him/her. Pretend he or she has said
  something nice. If you cant think of anything
  else to say, you can always say, Thank You!

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Practice

• Bully Your mother wears army boots.
• Answer
• So what, your mother looks like a cow!
• Im not surprised to hear that. She always has
  been a stylish woman.

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Practice Page 2

• Bully Youre a nerd.
• Person Why, thank you. What a kind thing to
  say!
• Bully Pizza Face
• Person And I know that you just love pizza.
• Bully I get better grades than you do.
• Person Thats wonderful. The world needs all of
  the smart people it can get.
• A bully burps in your face.
• Person

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Ways to Handle Bullies and Teasers2. Follow
Insults with Questions

• One way to talk to the person inside of the bully
  costume is to ask questions.
• Remember Most bullies say and do things that
  dont make sense. So get as curious as you can.
  Ask as many questions that will help you
  understand what the bully is trying to do.

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Practice

• Bully Stay away from me. I dont want you near
  me.
• Person I know that have your own opinions, but
  why do you want to tell me that?
• Bully Because, I dont like you.
• Person Well why do you want to talk to me if
  you dont like me? Why dont you just ignore me?
• Bully Oh, just forget it
• Bully I dont want you on my team. You stink at
  soccer!
• Person I am surprised to hear that. What
  exactly dont you like about the way I play
  soccer?
• Bully I told you that you stink.
• Person I appreciate you trying to help me. Do
  you think that you can tell me exactly what I am
  doing wrong?
• Bully Get away from me. The bully walks away.

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Dont disagree with the Bully. That will just
make things worse. Questioning bullies catches
them off guard.
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Ways to Handle Bullies and Teasers3. Agree with
the Bully.

• If disagreeing with a bully makes her try to
  prove she is right, what do you think would
  happen if you AGREE with her? (or him)
• Bully You are so dumb.
• Person. I guess Ive been wasting my time all
  these years thinking Im smart when Im actually
  dumb. Thanks for wising me up.
• Bully You are such a big liar you are always
  lying.
• Person You might be right. Thanks for telling
  me.
• Bully Your skin is too white.
• Person Why, my skin is white. Thanks for
  noticing.

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Put It All Together

• Bully You are nothing but a sissy. You cry all
  the time.
• Person (Compliment)
• Person (Question)
• Person (Agreement)
• Bully Get away from my backpack. You are just
  trying to take my things. You are nothing but a
  little thief.
• Person (Compliment)
• Person (Question)
• Person (Agreement)

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Summary

• Encountering a bully is one of the toughest
  situations children can face. We do not want this
  to happen to you.
• Probably, the most important thing for you to do
  is to tell someone who will listen to you and
  help you.
• There are other ways to handle bullies, teasers
  and meanies. Complimenting, Questioning and
  Agreeing are just 3 ways. If you are having
  trouble with bullies and you need other
  techniques like Tone Twisting, Disconnected
  Comments, Blocks, etc. then ask permission to
  come see me.
• And dont forget to pray for the bully. Prayer is
  one of the most powerful weapons you have in the
  bully battle. Pray that God will change the
  bullys heart and his behavior.

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3. The Bystander

• What is a Bystander?
• "He who passively accepts evil is as much
  involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it"
  (Martin Luther King)

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The Bystander

• Bullying usually happens with other kids around.
  Why is this?
• Did you know that if one person watching a
  bullying situations says Stop it!, half the
  time the bullying will stop. This can be hard to
  do, but when bystanders do nothing it is like
  saying that bullying is OK. It makes them the
  same as the bully.
• Why do bystanders let the bullying happen?
• The bully is someone the others like and want to
  hang out with.
• Being on the bullys side makes them feel strong
  being on the victims side makes them feel
  weak.
• Some bystanders find bullying to be entertaining.
• Some bystanders are afraid the bully will turn on
  them if they try to stop it.

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Things Bystanders Can Do

• Let the bully know that what he or she is doing
  is mean.
• Tell the bully to stop. Examples
• Cut it out.
• Thats not funny.
• How would you like it if someone did that to you?
  
• If you feel like you cant speak up, walk away
  and tell the nearest adult.
• Offer to help the one being bullied to tell an
  adult.
• Do not use violence against bullies. It will
  backfire on you.
• After the incident, offer to help the victim.

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The Bully and The Bible

• Bullying is not something new. It has been going
  on for thousands of years.
• There are even bullies in the Bible. Can you name
  a few?
• In the past few days we have discussed
  _________________
• God understands completely how you feel. His own
  son, Jesus Christ, was spat on, betrayed, hit,
  shoved, rejected, and eventually killed by
  bullies. He was even ignored by his best friend,
  _____, in his hour of need.

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The Bully and The Bible

• The Bible tells us how God wants us to handle
  bullies.
• Luke 627-31
• Matthew 77-8 12
• Bullies can make you suffer, hurt you and make
  your life a misery, but they can not take away
  your friendship with Jesus.
• All you have to do is to start talking to Jesus
  and you will remember that He is with you. In
  fact He has promised to never abandon you.
• Deuteronomy 316