Wild At Heart Chapter 5

1
Wild At Heart Chapter 5

• The Battle for a Mans Heart
• Now youre out there God knows where Youre one
  of the walking wounded Jan Krist Walking
  Wounded
• To give a man his heart back is the hardest
  mission on earth Michael

2

• Blaines Bully story
• You can not teach a boy to use his strength by
  stripping him of it
• A Man is not wounded once, but many, many times
  in the course of his life.
• Nearly every blow ends up falling in the same
  place against his strength.
• The assault continues long after the wound has
  been given.
• Life takes a mans strength one vertebra at a
  time,until in the end he has no spine at all.

3
Finishing Him Off (80-83)

• Baby boy surgery story
• Its a bad time to be a boy in America
  Christina Hoff Sommers The war against boys
• Columbine story
• The boys in Littleton are the tip of the
  iceberg. And the iceberg is all boys William
  Pollack
• Director of the Center for Men Mclean Hospital
• The education systems treatment of boys
• ADD story page 81

4

• Is the church different?
• Church basketball story
• The church may have a masculine exterior, but its
  soul has turned feminine
• What about many marriages? Page 82
• Why do we put man in a cage?
• He is dangerous
• Some thing is wrong with the masculine soul, but
  to try too emasculate men is no the answer.
• We know that our society produces a plentiful
  supply of boys, but seems to produce fewer and
  fewer men Robert Bly

5

• Why?
• We dont know how to initiate boys into men
• We are not really sure that we want to.
• The energy, competitiveness, and corporal daring
  of normal, decent males is responsible for much
  of what is right in the world Sommers
• Columbine revisited
• Our strength is what makes heroes
• Our neighbor hoods
• Slavery
• Nazis
• Apartheid

6

• Titanic
• The Man nailed to Calvarys cross
• Women can be heroic too, but God made men the way
  they are because we desperately need them to be
  that way.
• A man is a dangerous thing
• But so is a scalpel, it can wound or it can save
  your life. You dont make it safe by making it
  dull you put it in the hands of someone who
  knows what hes doing.
• Stallion vs Gelding story
• A stallion is a dangerous , but if you want the
  life he offers, you have to take the danger too,
  they go together.

7
Whats really going on here anyway? 84

• D-day story
• Look around you what do you observe 84-85
• What do you see in the lives of the men you work
  with, live by, go to church with?
• Are they full of passionate freedom?
• Do they fight well?
• Are their women deeply grateful for how well
  their men have loved them?
• Are their children radiant with affirmation?

8

• Scattered across the neighborhood lie the
  shattered lives of men (and women) who have died
  at the soul level from the wounds they have
  taken.
• hes a shell of a man They have lost heart
• Others are alive but badly wounded
• Still others are captives in prisons of despair,
  addiction, idleness, boredom.
• The place looks like a battlefield, the Omaha
  Beach of the soul.
• We are in the a long and vicious war against the
  human heart.
• It is unfolding all around usagainst us

9

• Many people feel abandoned or betrayed by God.
• They thought that becoming a Christian would
  somehow end their troubles, or at least reduce
  them considerably. No one ever told them they
  were being moved to the front lines, and they
  seem genuinely shocked at the fact they have been
  shot at?
• Dutch Cota story 86
• Have you forgotten?.... We were born into a world
  at war.
• Our wounds were not random accidents, but came
  with deadly accuracy, they hit dead center

10

• Wound stories revisited 87
• Our wound was too well aimed to be accidental
• Why has there been such an intentional assault,
  the attempt to take you out, to destroy your
  strength?
• The Enemy fears you
• You are dangerous big time
• If you ever really got your heart back, lived
  from it with courage, YOU would be a huge problem
  to him. You would do a lot of damage on the side
  of good. You were created to Gods ally!

11

• The failure of many fathers, the emasculating
  culture, and the passive church have left men
  without clear direction as a result.
• Most men have never been initiated into manhood
  or how to fight for their heart
• You can get your heart back
• You can have your wound(s) healed
• You can have your true name
• But you will have to fight for it.
• How do you feel about this? 88

12
Our search for an answer 88

• We need to know who we are and if we have what it
  takes.
• Where do we go to find the answer?
• What have you done with your question?
• Where have you taken it?
• A mans core question does not go away. He may
  try for years to shove it out of his awareness,
  but it does not go away
• It is a hunger so essential to our souls that it
  drives everything we do.

13

• Peters story 88-89
• No matter how much you make, no matter how far in
  life you go, that will never heal your wound or
  tell you who you are.
• How many men buy into this one?
• Men take their souls search for validation in
  all sorts of directions.
• Brads story 89
• Where does a man go for a sense of validation?
• To what he owns? To who pays attention to him?
• How much money he makes? Hos good he is in
  sports?

14

• The world cheers you on
• The deadliest place a man ever takes his search,
  the place every man seems to wind up no matter
  what trail he has followed, is the woman.

15
Taking it to Eve 90

• Johns first love- Debbie
• If I have found Juliet, then I must be Romeo-
  Searching for the woman that will make me a man
• Golden Haired woman- Robert Bly 91
• Why is Pornography the most addictive
• Men are visually wired
• But the deeper reason is because that seductive
  beauty reaches down inside and touches your
  desperate hunger for validation as a man you
  didnt even know you had. Touches it like nothing
  else most men have ever experienced.

16

• This is deeper than legs and breasts and good
  sex.
• Look at the lengths men will go to find her
• They have fought duels and wars over her beauty
• Every man remembers Eve
• Many men rate themselves by their sexual
  prowess/ability. Their question is hardwired to
  their penis.
• If he can feel like a hero sexually then he must
  be a hero.
• Later in life a mans worst fear is often
  impotence.
• He feels if he cant get an erection, then he
  hasnt got what it takes.

17

• Pornography is so seductive because it makes a
  wounded, famished man think that there are
  literally hundreds of beauties willing to give
  themselves to him.
• Look at media
• Movies- James Bond
• Music Secret Garden page 92
• Our answer is not with Eve
• Femininity can arouse masculinity 93
• But femininity can never bestow masculinity
• When a man takes his question to the woman what
  happens is either addiction or emasculation
  Usually both

18

• This is why so many men secretly fear their
  wives.
• She sees him as none else does
• Sleeps with him
• Knows what he is made of
• If he has given her the power to validate him as
  a man then he has also given her the power to
  invalidate him too. Pastor -Richards stories 94
• Why all of this on our search for validation and
  the answer to our question?
• Because we cannot hear the real answer until we
  see weve got a false one.
• So long as we chase the illusion, how can we face
  reality?

19

• If you take your question to Eve, it will break
  your heart. You cant get your answer there.
• You cant get your answer from any of the things
  men chase after to find there sense of self.
• There is only one source for the answer to your
  question
• No matter where you have taken your question, you
  have got to take it back. You have to walk away.
• That is the beginning of your journey
• Next week chapter 6 The Fathers Voice