MINI-LESSONS

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MINI-LESSONS

• WINTER/SPRING 2011

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Transition Hooks

• Definition
• sentences that work in between paragraphs to
  encourage the flow of the paper. Hooks are
  stronger than mere transition words because they
  are more mature and fluid than a transition word.
• Need good hooks
• Between body paragraphs
• Between points in body paragraphs
• Between chunks of information
• Like attention getter and background of lens and
  background of texts and into thesis
• Going into your conclusion

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Sample 1

• For both Hugh and Irene, the city in which they
  live seems like a hurricane. If they could get
  out of it, they would find peace, and if they
  moved further downtown, they would feel the
  calmness of the storms eye. Because of their
  mothers inability to live without them, Hugh and
  Irene have difficulty breaking away from any part
  of their lives that holds them down. They both
  come from estranged families.
• To ONE
• For both Hugh and Irene, the city in which they
  live seems like a hurricane. If they could get
  out of it, they would find peace, and if they
  moved further downtown, they would feel the
  calmness of the storms eye.
• Secondly, because of their mothers inability to
  live without them, Hugh and Irene have difficulty
  breaking away from any part of their lives that
  holds them down. They both come from estranged
  families.
• To TWO
• For both Hugh and Irene, the city in which they
  live seems like a hurricane. If they could get
  out of it, they would find peace, and if they
  moved further downtown, they would felt the
  calmness of the storms eye. However, they
  cannot dwell in the calm before the storm because
  of family quarrels.
• Because of their mothers inability to live
  without them, Hugh and Irene have difficulty
  breaking away from any part of their lives that
  holds them down. They both come from estranged
  families.
• Or THREE
• For both Hugh and Irene, the city in which they
  live seems like a hurricane. If they could get
  out of it, they would find peace, and if they
  moved further downtown, they would felt the
  calmness of the storms eye.
• Because of their mothers inability to live
  without them, though, they may never reach that
  calm that the eye of the storm promises Hugh and
  Irene have difficulty breaking away from any part
  of their lives that holds them down. They both
  come from estranged families.

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How do I do this?

• The easiest way to create transition hooks is to
  go back after writing the paper and look at the
  first and last sentence of every paragraph. Then,
  try to incorporate ideas and/or words from one
  sentence into the next sentence. Find some way
  to connect the ideas.

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Try connecting these either as a concluding
sentence or a topic sentence

• This is because on their adventure together, a
  symbol of their mothers is destroyed When the
  dragon appears, it is like the mother, calling
  out for pity and ready to devour her children in
  the name that pity (Bucknall 12). Hugh slays
  the dragon after Irene lures it out, and after
  that they have an awareness of resolution.
• Although the twilight world was thought of as the
  ideal place for escape, Hugh and Irene eventually
  saw that it would not satisfy where they really
  wanted to be.

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Sample ONE

• This is because on their adventure together, a
  symbol of their mothers is destroyed When the
  dragon appears, it is like the mother, calling
  out for pity and ready to devour her children in
  the name that pity (Bucknall 12). Hugh slays
  the dragon after Irene lures it out, and after
  that they have an awareness of resolution, in the
  twilight world and their own.
• Although the twilight world was thought of as the
  ideal place for escape, Hugh and Irene
• eventually saw that it would not
  satisfy
• what they really wanted to be.

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Sample TWO

• This is because on their adventure together, a
  symbol of their mothers is destroyed When the
  dragon appears, it is like the mother, calling
  out for pity and ready to devour her children in
  the name that pity (Bucknall 12). Hugh slays
  the dragon after Irene lures it out, and after
  that they have an awareness of resolution.
• This seeming resolution comes about in the form
  of an escape to the twilight world however, Hugh
  and Irene eventually saw that
• it would not satisfy what they really
• wanted to be.

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Do it on your own

• Science fiction is most concerned with technology
  and its effects on humanity.
• The Marxist lens shows how far people will go to
  gain power and who they may destroy in the
  process.
• I, Robot is a futuristic text about a society
  that rules using robots to
• accomplish their work.

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Conclusion Pointers

• Try something new instead of restating your
  thesis
• in your beginning sentence, go instead to your
• introduction and wrap up your attention getter
  ideas
• Revisit thesis without restatingNEVER need to
  word-for-word restate
• Discuss the impact of the controversial ideas on
  the present and future of your subject or our
  world
• You should discuss the significance and relevance
  of the ideas youve explored.
• Explain what you have learned about/from your
  subcategory
• Put your own personal
  stamp on this
• paragraph by
  explaining how these
• books relate to your
  world.
• The last sentence
  must have impact.

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 Body Paragraphs

• Skim the paragraphs as a whole
• Are there at least two novel references/quotations
  with documentation?
• If not, make a note on the paper.
• Please read through the first and last sentence
  of each paragraph are they clearly related
  without being redundant? Based upon the topic
  sentence, write what you infer or understand to
  be the point which this paragraph focuses on.
• Does each quotation have a lead in that
• PHYSICALLY connects to the quote?
• If not, make a note.

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• Does each paraphrase (reference to text) have
  correct documentation?
• If not, highlight the problem.
• Do all passages have an introduction that does
  more than say something like On the river, Huck
  says? Does he/she provide enough contextual
  information to help you see the literal meaning?
  Does the passage have depth and breadth that adds
  analysis and insight to the topic sentence?
• Does each quote have a lead out/explanation
  sentence that further clarifies an develops the
  topic sentence and the previous support?
• Look at conclusion sentencedoes it do more than
  summarize the paragraph? Take a guess at what
  the second paragraph will be if you cannot tell,
  make a note.
• Does the author make a new, interesting point in
  each paragraph? If they seem redundant, make a
• note and a suggestion.
• Do you see a connection between the paragraphs?

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Close reading What to do

• Make a photocopy of your passage
  try to reduce the size of the
  paragraph in
  order to have large margins on each
  side.
• If you can find the passage in an online text,
  thats even better because you can copy/paste
  into Microsoft Word.
• Read through the passage three-four times, making
  note of word choice, sentence structure, focal
  points, topic sentences, character descriptions,
  etc.
• As you read, write questions, observations, and
  comments in the margins, specifically as this
  passage relates to your thesis.
• Make sure you have put your name, text, author
  and page number at the top of this page.
• Write your rough draft and revised thesis at the
  top of this page.

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Close ReadingsHow Close Is

• Circle powerful and unusual images (objects,
  colors, and anything else concrete).
• Brainstorm the connotations of these images
  (connotation association). What do these images
  make you think of?
• Make connections What larger picture do these
  images create? How do they relate to each other?

Too Close?
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Parallel Structure

• Parallel Structure EXPRESS SIMILAR IDEAS IN
  SIMILAR GRAMMATICAL FORM like an equationeach
  part of your sentence must balance, equal the
  other side by using the same parts of speech, in
  the same order, on either side.
• Another definition expressing ideas in pairs or
  series of words, phrases, or clauses. This
  prose has a nice balance and an easy flow because
  the author casts these pairs and series in
  parallel forms grammatical structures that match
  and complement one another. For example, when
  she recounts her response to a negative
  criticism, she has two points to make, and she
  conveys them in parallel structures I pointed
  out that readers are
• free to interpret a book as they
  please, and
• that they are free to appreciate
  or not
• appreciate the result.

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Samples

• Parallel Jane is smiling, jumping, and
  singing.
• Not Parallel Janie is smiling, jumping, and she
  danced the
• 
  meringue.
• Parallel Thatcher is tall, blonde, and
  blue-eyed.
• Not parallel Thatcher is tall, blonde, and with
  blue eyes.
• Parallel These early obsessions led to a belief
  that
• writing could be
  my salvation, providing me
• with the
  sort of freedom and danger, satisfaction
  and discomfort, truth and contradiction I
  cant find in anything else.
• Not parallel writing could be my salvation,
  providing me with the sort of freedom and
  danger, joy in composition and discomfort,
  insight into life while still entertaining me
  with creativity
• that I cant find in anything else.

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Use similar grammatical form for

• Items in a series
• NOT parallel In spincasting, your stance, how
  you hold the rod, and the way in which you swing
  may affect distance and accuracy.
• Parallel In spincasting, your stance, your
  manner of holding the rod, and your swing may
  affect distance and accuracy.
• Compound Subject/Predicate
• NOT parallel He asked me to return his bike and
  that I should lock it up.
• Parallel He asked me to return his bike and to
  lock it up.
• He asked that I return his bike and that I lock
  it up.
• Items to be compared
• NOT parallel I like tennis better than to play
  indoor games.
• Parallel I like tennis better than indoor games.
  
• Sentence parts
• NOT parallel I like either football or taking
  part in separate track events.
• Parallel I like either football and track.
• either...or neither....nor both...and not
  only...but also not...nor

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Try it out

• 1. Egyptian pyramids were regularly robbed
  despite their intricate passageways, byzantine
  mazes, and __________.A. walls which were false
  B. they had false walls C. false walls
  D. walls of falsity 2. In the years following
  the American Revolution and prior to the
  establishment of a national government,
  Washington provided the fledgling country with
  keen economic insight, _________, and astute
  international judgment.A. a recognition of
  stability that was domestic B. to stabilize the
  domestic situation C. which was domestically
  stable D. a sense of domestic stability
  3. Despite the appearance of being merely
  pests, ants can serve a garden by eliminating
  other bothersome insects and ________.A. they
  can aerate the soil B. aerating the soil C. to
  aerate the soil D. that can aerate the soil

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Do it on your own

• Orson Scott Card demonstrates a world full of
  chaos, fear, and humans who have evil intentions.
• Comparing a Jensonian nocturne with a melody by
  Rossini or a scherzo by Beethoven, brings into
  focus the difference between schools of music.

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Crafting a 31 Flavors of Sentencesor maybe just
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• The Zeugma Mixing Unlikely images in a parallel
  structure
• She reached for Jerrys letter and her future
• Two nouns are linked, but one is concrete and the
  other more abstract
• The Antithesis juxtaposes two contrasting ideas
  using identical sentence structures Leroy was
  easy to like, but hard to live with
• Contrasting two character traits using the same
  grammatical structure
• The Epanalepis the hourglass feel, so that the
  sentence ends with the same word that started it,
  as in Kindness comes to those who show kindness
• The Chiasmus follows a reversible pattern of
  sentence structure two clauses are related to
  each other through a reversal of structures in
  order to make a larger point that is, the two
  clauses display inverted parallelism "He
  knowingly lied and we followed blindly" as
  opposed to traditional parallel structure He
  knowingly lied and we blindly followed
• The Hyperbole an over exaggeration for effect
  He eats more dirt than a gopher. His throat has
  the fingerprints of every linebacker in the
  league.

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Sentence Variety Help File

• Use the following strategies to add variety to
  your sentences
• In one column on a piece of paper, list the
  opening words in each of your sentences. Then
  decide if you need to vary some of sentence
  beginnings.
• In another column, list the verbs in each
  sentence. Then decide if you need to replace any
  overused be verbsis, are, was, werewith more
  vivid onesnap, stare, stir, slither
• In the third column, identify the number of words
  in each sentence. Then decide if you need to
  change the length of some of your sentences.
• Read your paper backwards that will alert you to
  
• repetitive sentence structure.

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Noun/Pronoun Agreement

• All nouns and pronouns have a numbereither they
  are singular or plural. Within a sentence,
  if you have a noun and a pronoun that
  reference the same person or thing, the pronoun
  is called an antecedent. A nouns antecedent
  must agree in number with its corresponding noun.
• Lots of pronouns in our language and especially
  in our slang become plural when theyre actually
  singular
• EVERYBODY, ANYBODY, EVERYONE, ANYONE, for
  example.
• You must make the noun and its
  
• antecedent AGREE in number for the
  
• sentence to be strong and
  grammatically
• sound.

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Noun/Pronoun Agreement Examples

• CORRECT or INCORRECT?
• Everybody enjoys their own space.
• Everyone must take his/her plate to the table.
• Everyone believes theyre right.
• Anyone can bring his/her own book to CSAP.
• Anybody wants to have their own car.
• Everybody enjoys their own cooking.

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Subject/Verb Agreement

• Nouns must also agree in number with their verbs.
• CORRECT or INCORRECT?
• Everybody hope that theyll find a good job.
• Everyone takes the same CSAP test.
• Everyone eat meat.
• Anybody can go to G-rated movies.
• Anybody need love in their life.
• Everybody has a favorite place to eat.

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Cleaning up your sentences

• This is because on their adventure together, a
  symbol of their mothers is destroyed When the
  dragon appears, it is like the mother, calling
  out for pity and ready to devour her children in
  the name that pity (Bucknall 12).
• Capote is trying to prove that Holly is actually
  a psychotic person.
• Welch is saying that the whites utterly destroyed
  all Native American civilization.
• It is understood that Roxy will never be the
  clear cut character readers wish her to be.

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A little more cleaning

• This allows readers to see that a Midwestern town
  is the most suitable place for such a
  gut-wrenching story.
• Covey uses impeccable sentence structure and, as
  readers, we are really convinced of his sincerity
  as a writer.
• Potok creates this setting because he wants to
  story and his characters to be relatable.
• Readers see that Enger crafts Reuben as a
  sympathetic character in order to encourage
  readers to see all the other characters are more
  than pasteboard cutouts.

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Wednesday Anonymous Edit

• Please spend twenty-five minutes reading and
  revising your peers
  paper.
• Big Ideas to Focus on
• Sentence Fluency (variety of starts and lengths)
• Word Choice (does it become tired, repetitive, or
  thesaurused-out?)
• Grammatical Issues (Noun/Pronoun, Subject/Verb
  Agreement, Parallel Structure)
• Persuasiveness and Accuracy of Argument
• Integration of Critical Lens
• This is really important how foundational and
  visible is the critical lens?
• Is it a side note or the focus on the paper?
• Areas to note, if theres time
• MLA Citation Problems
• Lead ins and out
• Tips on strong titles

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Bad Word/Phrase List

• I/me my you your
• big bad good thing
• really very not a lot
• true self searching for self
• finding self contractions
• How to get rid of not? Turn the negative voice
  into the positive voice.
• Negative voice She was not successful.
• Positive voice She was unsuccessful.
• Negative voice They were not able to fulfill
  their dream.
• Positive voice The were unable to fulfill their
  dream.

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Bad Word List, continued

• How to get rid of really and very?
• CROSS THEM OUT
• You may have to adjust the adjective.
• Ex
• They felt very sad as they left.
• They felt devastated as they left.

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MLA Documentation

• Pull-Out Quotes
• Quotations to are longer than 3 lines once youve
  typed them into your paper.
• Example
• Waverly Jong in The Joy Luck Club, for example,
  describes invisible strength as
• a strategy for winning arguments, respect from
  others, and eventually, though neither of us knew
  it at the time, chess gamesI discovered that for
  the whole game one must gather invisible
  strengths and see the endgame before the game
  beginsI also saw that a little knowledge
  withheld is a great advantage one should store
  for future use. (Tan 89)
• NO QUOTATION MARKS, TAB ONCE ON LEFT, PERIOD
  BEFORE DOCUMENTATION GO BACK TO REGULAR INDENT
  FOR NEXT SENTENCE.

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Repetition of Authors Last Names in Internal
Documentation

• After you mention an author name once, you need
  not mention it again if you are using two quotes
  from him/her consecutively.
• Example
• The soldiers were unable to cope with such
  stability saying all that peace, man, it felt so
  good it hurt (OBrien 35).
• She has sadness when Holly learns of Freds
  death the narrator tells us her reaction When
  the sadness came, first she throws the drink she
  is drinking. The bottle. Those books (Capote
  79).
• OBrien discusses a swell of angerId squirm
  around, cussing, half nuts with pain and pretty
  soon Id remember how Bobby Jorgenson almost
  killed meI wanted to hurt him for a mistake
  Bobby made (OBrien 192-193). This caused
  OBrien a great deal of pain and embarrassment.

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Quotation Marks Dialogue

• Use a combination of double and single quotation
  marks to demonstrate dialogue or a quote within a
  quote
• Example
• She has sadness when Holly learns of Freds
  death the narrator tells us her reaction When
  the sadness came, first she throws the drink she
  is drinking. The bottle. Those books (Capote
  79).
• Emily I love pizza/Preston Well I love
  you/Zach I hate hot dogs (Ackerman 12).

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Adding Information to Quotes

• Sometimes you need to add information to a quote
  in order to it to make grammatical sense. Do
  this by using square brackets
• Example Antonia once described her mothers
  manipulation to Jim, the narrator, saying, He
  her father not want to come to America,
  nev-er! My mamenka mother make him come (sic)
  (Cather 66).

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Reminders for Revision

• Do close reading of EACH quote you use include
  that thinking in your explanation sentences.
• Each page, but the first, needs your last name
  and page number in the top right.
• Ackerman 12
• First page needs MLA heading and creative title.
• You need a Works Cited that includes both primary
  sources.
• Check your topic and concluding sentences of each
  paragraph to see that they have matching
  thoughts.
• Make sure all titles are italicized.
• Make sure all quotes or paraphrases are cited.
• Make sure you show critical thinking and
  intellectual risk taking instead of plot summary.
• SPELL CHECK!
• Use the rubric to grade yourself.

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Problem AreasIf you make-ah these mistakes,
Ill-ah take-ah 1 point offa ever-ee time-ah!

• Spelling
• Documentation (internal and works cited)
• MLA heading/page number problems
• Leads in that arent connected to your quote or
  that dont make grammatical sense (remember, the
  lead in must logically and eloquently flow into
  your quote so that it reads as a normal
  sentence!)
• Titles with incorrect punctuation
• Pronoun/Noun agreement