Chapter 6 Gaining Self Awareness

1
Chapter 6Gaining Self Awareness

• A bird that sings does not sing because it has an
  answer.
• It sings because it has a song.
• Chinese Proverb

2
Recognizing when you are off course

• First, you accept personal responsibility.
• Then, you chose personal motivations, goals, and
  dreams that offer you purpose and direction.
• Next, you create a self management plan and began
  taking effective actions.
• You develop supportive relationships.
• All along, you have believe in yourself.
• How are you still off course?

3
Ask yourself the following questions

• What habits do I have that sabotage my success?
• What beliefs do I have that get me off course?
• How can I consistently make wise choices that
  will create a rich, personally fulfilling life?

4
What is self sabotage?

• When we make choices that go against our goals
  and dreams.
• By the time we realize that this has happened, it
  may be to late to get back on course.

5
Unconscious Forces

• Daily influences from past experiences that
  influence your daily choices.
• You do not even realize that it is going on.
• Our brains record just about every experience
  that we have ever had. Our brains can
  re-experience events in vivid detail that we
  thought we had long forgotten.
• Amygala stores emotionally charged events in our
  unconscious memory.
• The amygala makes connections and compares
  present situations and past circumstances. When
  a connection is made from the past, without our
  conscious knowledge, the alarmed amygala hijacks
  our rational thought process and demands that we
  react the same way the we did the last time.
• Our response can be totally inappropriate to what
  is happening currently.
• By the time the amygala loosens it grips, we
  have made a bad choice.
• Since this is unconscious, how do we spot those
  sabotaging influences?
• We have to identify the invisible forces that get
  us off course. It is difficult since these
  invisible forces are at work in our unconscious
  minds. This self awareness allows us to identify
  the self sabotaging choices and replace them
  with wiser choices that will get you back on
  course or keep you there.

6
ScriptsEric Berne-psychologist

• Words, actions, and emotions
• We must become aware of our scripts so that at
  the fork in the road we can make decisions that
  keep us on course and not off.

7
Types of scripts

• Thought patterns-habitual self talk either
  positive or negative
• Emotional patterns-habitual feelings such as
  anger, excitement, anxiety, joy, sadness.
• Behavior patterns-habitual patterns such as
  smoking, arriving on time, exercising.
• When you know someone well enough to predict what
  they will say or how they will react you
  recognize/understand their thought patterns.
• 4. Core beliefs-at a young age we form our core
  beliefs about the world, other people, and
  ourselves.
• These core beliefs dictate our unconscious
  judgments about how we think, feel and act. These
  beliefs dictate the choices we make at the fork
  in the road.

8
Scripts
Emotional
Core Beliefs
Thought Patterns
Behavior Patterns
9
How/Why did we write our scripts the way we did?

• 1. The way other people respond(ed) to us.
• The world is kind and I am lovable
• The world is not kind and I am not lovable
• The world is dangerous
• Just think how these get your off course so
  easily.

10
How/Why did we write our scripts the way we did?

• 2.What significant adults had to say to us.
• Our attributions- kind, quiet, mean, rebellious,
  dominant, invisible.
• Injunctions tell us what we are not or should
  not be. Includes primarily dont

11
How/Why did we write our scripts the way we did?

• 3. Observing the behavior of significant adults
• We learn our personal and cultural scripts.
• Watch a child playing and what do you notice?
  They are behaving as the adults around them.
• The lens that we see the world through is
  based on our culture.
• When under stress we refer to our scripts for
  guidance.
• The scripts we developed in childhood are not
  appropriate for the adult world and challenges.
• The million dollar questions is Do my habitual
  habits help or hinder me in the pursuit of the
  life I want to create?

12
Self defeating habits

• P. 156 157
• Pay attention to outdated habits that may get you
  off course.
• Most of these patterns are mental, emotional, or
  behavioral.
• Must believe in self in order to change the cycle
  of habits that might potentially or always get
  you off course.

13
Rewrite the outdated script

• Get rid of limits and see the stars/heavens as
  the only limit of you achieving your dreams.
• Identifying the self-defeating patterns you can
  rewrite your script to stay on course.
• Most of us sabotage ourselves through our
  emotions, behaviors, and thoughts.
• When our script is rewritten we then can change
  the outcomes of our lives for the better.
• What are our core beliefs about ourselves?

14
Self-Awareness at Work

• Conscious career planning, established through
  prioritizing time to research career options.
• Hard skills are the skills that get you the job
  and soft skills are the reason you may lose the
  job. Soft skills are what this book is about. How
  you cope with your problems. These soft skills
  are the ones that are invisible to most of our
  coworkers. Be sure to match your soft skills
  with the requirements for the job.
• Personal preference can be identified in the
  career counseling center by taking a test or two
  such as Strong Interest Inventories,
  Self-Directed Search, Myers-Briggs Type
  Indicator, Holland Code.

15
Holland CodeDr. John Holland

• One of six personality types and possible careers
  for each.
• Shows that people tend to be satisfied in careers
  that are compatible with their personality type,
  and are less satisfied when the match isnt
  there.
• Realistic- involve objects, tools, and machines.
  Career- mechanic, electrician, comp. repair,
  civil engineer, forester, teacher, dental tech.,
  farmer, carpenter.

16

• 2. Investigative- abstract problem solving and
  exploring physical, biological, and cultural
  phenomena to understand and control them.
• Careers- chemist, economist, detective, comp.
  analyst, doctor, astronomer, mathematician.

17

• 3. Artistic- prefer activities involving
  self-expression, using words, ideas, or
  materials, to create art forms or new concepts.
• Careers- writer, advertising manager, public
  relations specialist, artist, musician, graphic
  designer, interior decorator, inventor.

18

• 4. Social- prefer activities involving
  interaction with other people to inform, train,
  develop, help, or enlighten them.
• Careers- nurse, massage therapist, teacher,
  counselor, social workers, day-care provider,
  physical therapist.

19

• 5. Enterprising- prefer activities involving the
  persuasion and management of other to attain
  organizational goals or economic gain.
• Career- sales, television newscaster, bank
  manager, lawyer, travel agent, personal manager,
  entrepreneur.

20

• 6. Conventional- prefer activities involving the
  persuasion and management of others to attain
  organizational goals or economic gain.
• Careers-accountant, comp. operator, secretary,
  credit manager, financial planner.

21
Additional info. Regarding scripts

• Scripts regarding self knowledge can either
  support your success or not.
• Understanding your personality and interests
  improves your chances of finding a satisfying
  career match.
• Know your beliefs- what you value and what you do
  not

22
Believing in yourselfWrite your own rules

• Three rules of success
• Show up-
• Do my best work
• Participate actively
• You intend to do your very best everyday to be
  the best you can be for yourself and others.

23
Additional rules

• Keep promises to myself and others.
• Seek feedback and make course corrections when
  appropriate.
• Arrive on time.
• Do my very best work on all projects important to
  me.
• I care for my body with exercise, healthy food,
  and good medical care.
• If you follow them regularly, they will become
  second nature and a part of you.