How to Negotiate with Children

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To Keep In Mind While Negotiating With Your
Teen
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Negotiating with your teen is going to happen
more and more often, as they push boundaries and
crave independence. Its important that you come
into negotiations as best prepared as you can be
ready to listen to what they have to say, but
while still holding firm ground.
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As a parent you need to be able to instill good
values in your children. Are you worried that
negotiation with your child is going to be
impossible? That you wont get the results you
desperately need? Its not as hard as you think
especially if you read our 3 things to keep in
mind while negotiating with your teen.
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If you and your child cannot communicate
effectively, then any negotiations will be a
waste of time. It is just as important that you
listen to your child, as it is for them to listen
to you. Your home should be built on a solid
foundation of communication, as that is what is
really needed to ensure a happy, healthy home.
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K E Y.
COMMUNICATION is the
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In order for communication to be most effective,
important conversations should only be held when
all parties are clear headed and arent holding
any negative emotions on board. If things heat up
and someone gets upset or emotionally involved,
its a good idea to postpone conversations until
everyone has calmed down.
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Children, especially during the teenage years,
tend to have good intentions behind what they say
but often things come out harshly or rudely. This
is part of their developmental process, as they
age they will learn more about tact and that how
you say things matters as much as what you say.
However, for the mean time youre going to have
to remind them, while focusing on what they are
saying and not so much how they are saying it.
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If youre asking to negotiate with your child, it
means that there is either something you do not
agree on, or there has been an ongoing problem
that you would like a solution for. Either way,
you need to isolate what the underlying issues is
and what you would like the ultimate result to
be. After then, you need to discuss this openly
with your child and you will need to take into
consideration their opinion on things. Life is
all about perspective and taking the time to
understand your childs perspective might help
you understand more where they are coming from.
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Recognize and CLEARLY define the problem.
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When explaining the problem and the solution you
would ideally want, avoid being too long winded.
You want to address the issue as concisely as
possible, as to not overwhelm, upset or outright
frustrate your child. As an adult, with a wealth
of life experiences, you are in a much better
position to discuss concepts in general. Your
child on the other hand is developing rapidly,
changing significantly and is learning how to be
more of an independent person. By explaining
things simply and not overwhelming them, all
while addressing the issue clearly, you will get
the best response possible.
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This means if things heat up in the discussion,
you need to walk away. Often children have a lot
more to gain from arguing than parents. Children
will frequently use arguments as a way to
leverage the parents to either change their mind
or to at least minimize what they have decided.
There is little benefit to arguing with your
teen, in fact they generally get all of the
benefits.
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Preserve Your RELATIONSHIP
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When you are stressed out or upset by your
childs behavior it is easy to get overwhelmed
and emotional. It is important to be as clear
headed as possible, especially when trying to
engage in negotiations. If you are feeling that
it is getting to be too much, you can simply
explain to your child that this negotiation is
very important to you, but you think its best
you take a bit of space to cool off before
continuing. Rarely any good long term progress
comes from heated arguments or when people are
emotionally charged, so do everything you can to
preserve your relationship and avoid conflict
with your child.
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Negotiation is an essential part of life, whether
referring to raising your child or negotiating a
new employment contract at a new job. It can be
awkward being so upfront with our needs and
wants, but it is a really important skill to
master. By negotiating with your child you are
not only ensuring they understand what you need
from them at home, but you are teaching them the
important of good, clear communication.
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Are you ready to negotiate with your child now?
?
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How to Negotiate With Your Child.
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ABOUT JADE

Adolescents Coach. Published Author. Wrote books
on Parenting Teens. Devoted 18 years to make
parent teens relationship work.