Biblical Parenting Principles

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Biblical Parenting Principles
Biblical Foundations for Freedom
www.foundationsforfreedom.net
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How many times did you have sofa time this week?
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Measuring your Oneness
These are some commonly accepted beliefs about
marriage. Circle either Admit or Dont do (A  D
).
A  D   A good marriage is a 50/50
arrangement. A  D   One of the purposes of
marriage is self-fulfillment. A  D   I earned
the money so I can spend the money. A  D  
Arguing is a normal means of communication. A  D
  Each spouse has a leadership role in
marriage. A  D   I am more courteous to friends
than my spouse. A  D   Disagreements about
raising children cause us tension. A  D   Its
sometimes okay to leave our conflicts
unresolved. A  D   Arguing in front of the child
teaches him conflict resolution. A  D   My anger
gets the results I want. A  D   I must have time
to myself to function well as a parent. A  D  
We take turns getting our own way on various
issues.
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A good marriage is a 50/50 arrangement.
They shall become one flesh. Genesis
224 The 50/50 concept produces divided
marriages. Spouses fight for their own freedoms
and rights. Great marriages are 100/100. Each
person gives his or her all to make the marriage
a success. They are two people but working
together as one.
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One of the purposes of marriage is
self-fulfillment.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit .
Philippians 23 If we seek the fulfillment of
our own needs, then we will not be able to
properly serve the other. God will meet our
needs as we serve Him and others (Matthew 633).
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I earned the money so I can spend the money.
He who loves money will not be satisfied with
money, nor he who loves abundance with its
income. Ecclesiastes 511
The joy in marriage comes from sharing what we
have and earned with our mate. We no longer
have a mine and your attitude. The couple is
one. All I have is yours. Money doesnt truly
satisfy.
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Arguing is a normal means of communication.
What is the source of quarrels and conflicts
among you? Is not the source your pleasures that
wage war in your members? James
41 Arguments reveal the lack of oneness. Each
spouse supports their side by a mean-spirited
defense and attack. None of this brings about
Gods truth and love. God desires both husband
and wife to pursue His goals rather than their
own.
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Each spouse has a leadership role in marriage.
For the husband is the head of the wife, as
Christ also is the head of the church.
Ephesians 523 There is only one leader in the
home. If there are two heads, then there are
contested plans. A continuous struggle results.
The husband needs to properly govern the home.
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I am more courteous to my friends than my spouse.
Let your speech always be with grace.
Colossians 46 If we treat strangers better than
our spouse, then we lack proper respect for our
spouses. We need to treat our spouse as we would
like ourselves to be treated. We start
first! Our spouse deserves our kind words and
attitudes because they are made in Gods image.
We dedicate ourselves to this no matter how bad
our husband or wife treats us.
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Disagreements about raising children cause us
tension.
And, fathers, do not provoke your children to
anger but bring them up in the discipline and
instruction of the Lord . Ephesians
64 Arguments about raising the children are
just as bad as other arguments. The couple must
function as one not two. The husband needs to
proactively decide and follow up on the training
of his children. His wife is his invaluable
resource person through whom he gains wisdom,
better understands a childs needs and finds help
in carrying out this training.
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Its sometimes okay to leave our conflicts
unresolved.
Be angry, and yet do not sin do not let the sun
go down on your anger, and do not give the devil
an opportunity. Ephesians 426-27 Leaving a
conflict unresolved is like leaving an infected
sore untreated. It will get worse and
worse. Asking forgiveness and restoring the
broken relationship is a lot more fun!
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Arguing in front of the child teaches him
conflict resolution.
Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is
fitting in the Lord. Colossians 318 A wife
might think she is helping the child by defending
him, but she only makes things worse by arguing
with her husband in front of the child. Talk to
him later.
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My anger gets the results I want.
But let every one be quick to hear, slow to
speak and slow to anger for the anger of man
does not achieve the righteousness of God.
James 119-20 Anger is often manipulative. When
a spouse doesnt get his way, he or she makes it
so unpleasant that the other one gives in.
Refuse to use anger to get your way. Commit
yourself to get Gods way His way.
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I must have time to myself to function well as a
parent.
He who loves his life loses it and he who hates
his life in this world shall keep it to life
eternal. If any one serves Me, let him follow
Me. John 1225-26 A couple needs to function
as one not two. As long as each has his own
life and functions, they will act more as two
separate units.
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We take turns getting our own way on various
issues.
Seek the LORD, All you humble of he earth who
have carried out His ordinance. Seek
righteousness, seek humility. Perhaps you will be
hidden in the day of the LORDs anger.
Zephaniah 23 The phrase own way betrays ones
selfish desires. A couple must focus on what
God wants.
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So how did you do? D (Dont dos) 10-12
Sweet marriage 8-9 Growing
marriage 6-7 Challenging marriage lt 5
Difficult marriage
Our marital unity impacts our children!
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Biblical Parenting Principles
Lesson 3
Parental Authority
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Take a Look Around your Home

• Who is in charge of your home?
• Who should be in charge?

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Defining Authority

• What is authority? Authority is the right to
  lead, govern or rule.
• God uses authority to bring order and justice to
  this world. Creation, the material world
  (Genesis 1-2) Spiritual beings such as angels
  (Col 116) Earthly governments, kings (Romans
  13) Judges (moral justice) (Psalm 210)
  Parental (Deuteronomy 6)

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The Need for Authority
Gods goodness is seen in His authority.
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Rejection of Authority

• People tend to reject this authority. Why?
  Personally hurt by someone in authority.
• Seen abuse or misuse of authority.
• Selfish use of ones authority.
• Hypocrisy Said one thing did another.

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Extreme reactions to Authority
Extremes
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A Look at Gods Authority
The perfect blend of love and law.
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Gods Design for the Family
How is God going to put His wisdom, principles
and love into the new little people that come
into the world?
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What does God say?

• Biblical teaching on parental authority.
  Fathers responsibility

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What does God say?

• Biblical teaching on parental authority.
  Childrens responsibility

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Needed Excavation
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Comparing Three Mindsets
The world cannot comprehend Gods revealed ways.
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Comparing Three Ways
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Gods Superior Way
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Looking at the Results
The Barren
The Blend
The Bind
The parent not only instructs the truth but
models it. They make the truth desirable and
gain a beautiful relationship with their child.
The parent hopes for a good relationship but ends
up with broken dreams. Frustration Lack of
confidence Rudeness Spoiled children.
The parent wants and gets obedience, but it costs
them their child Too harsh-gt Bitter No
conversation -gt Rejection Rejection -gt
hypocrite.
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Guidelines for Parents
Are we training our children to
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Change is not Easy

• What will we need to face up to in order to
  restore our home to function under Gods
  authority, where parents are in charge?
• The conviction of the parents to live God's
  ways will be tested, severely at first. This is
  no time for the parent to give in.

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Biblical Parenting Principles

• A child is responsible to obey his or her
  father and mother.
• A father is charged with exhorting, encouraging,
  imploring and disciplining his child.
• A mother also has authority over the child and
  assists her husband in carrying out his
  responsibilities.

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Assignment

• Read Parental Authority (Session 3)
• Answer reading questions.
• Keep practicing sofa time.
• Do the Follow-up project.

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Follow-up Project

• Think through your life to see what authorities
  you are under.
• Observe how you respond to those authorities.
• Write down several of these observations How did
  I respond? How should I have responded?

See you next time!