Critical Conversations Crucial conversations

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Critical ConversationsCrucial conversations
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Structure of difficult conversations

• The "What Happened" Conversation
• Disagreement about what happened, blame.
• Right vs wrong.
• 2. The Feelings Conversation
• What about the other person?
• 3. The Identity Conversation
• Self-image
• Self-esteem

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What makes conversations difficult?

• Unpleasant, difficult to talk about
• Dilemma Avoid or confront
• Delivering a difficult message

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Target

• -What we cant change/ what we can
• Explore each others stories

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The Steps to Prepare

• Get unstuck
• What is the right conversation to have?
• What is at the heart of the matter?
• 2. Start with heart
• What do I really want for myself,
• the other person,
• the relationship.

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Steps

• 3. Make it safe
• Our mutual purpose
• Create mutual respect
• 4. Master the stories
• What story is the other person telling?

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Steps STATE

• Share the facts. what
• Noncontroversial, persuasive, non-insulting
• Tell my story as a story
• Confidence, safety problems, contrasts
• Ask questions to understand
• Be tentative
• Talk tentatively
• Encourage testing
• Invite opposing views, mean it, devils advocate