Title: Responsible Parenting and Parenting Styles
1Responsible Parenting and Parenting Styles
- By Mrs. Tess Leones
- Bukal Life Care Counseling Center
2Ephesians 64
- And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to
wrath, but bring them up in the training and
admonition of the Lord. - And you, fathers, do not irritate your children,
but bring them up tenderly with true Christian
training and advice
3Proverbs 226
- Train up a child in the way he should go, and
when he is old he will not depart from it. - Point your kids in the right direction--when
theyre old they wont be lost
4Children are Gods Gifts, and He says,
- Bring Them Up In Nurture and Christian Discipline.
5Nurture
- Parental Warmth The degree to which parents are
accepting, responsive, and compassionate with
their children. -
6Parental Warmth Spectrum
- ?-------------------------------------------------
-----------------? - Parents high Parents who Parents who
- In warmth show little show no
warmth - warmth
at all - HIGH WARMTH IS RECOMMENDED
7Christian Discipline
- Parental Control The degree to which parents set
limits and enforce rules.
8Parental Control Spectrum
- ?-------------------------------------------------
-----------------? - Parents with Moderate degree Very
little - High degree of control or
no control - of control
at all - MODERATE DEGREE OF CONTROL IS RECOMMENDED
9- It has been found out that when parenting is high
in warmth, children show better social and
academic skills. They are loving, and respectful
to their parents and other people.
10- Numerous studies have shown that children who
received little or no warmth at all become more
aggressive and perform poorly in school.
11- Likewise, children who were raised by parents
with high degree of parental control, as well as
low control, show depression, more prone to drug
use and delinquency. Parents low in control are
either lax, permissive, or uninvolved with their
children.
12Needs of Children
- Children have needs. Sometimes they can be
divided into lower needs and higher needs or
physical and psychological needs.
13Physical (Lower) Needs
- A Few of these include
- Food
- Water
- Clothes
- Shelter
14Higher (Psychological) Needs
- Love
- Esteem
- Sense of Belonging
- Independence
- Communication
15Love Languages
- Children have different sensory access modes.
Some auditory, others visual, others kinesthetic.
Therefore, they have to be accessed through their
preferred sense modality.
16Love Languages
- Dr. Chapman has identified 5 Love languages
- 1. Physical touch
- 2. Words of affirmation
- 3. Quality time
- 4. Gifts
- 5. Acts of service
17Communication
- Good communication is both verbal and non-verbal
- Communication should be two-way, not just one way
(commander-in-chief or judge) - Should be reflective
18Parenting Styles
- Parents develop their own parenting style that is
unique to their particular personality and their
own beliefs about how children should be raised. - We are influenced by how we were raised
(incorporating methods or doing the opposite).
19- Parenting styles have been found to predict a
childs well-being in the area of social
competence, academic performance and
psycho-social development.
20There are 4 Basic Parenting Styles
- These styles are based on two elements
- 1. Expression of Parental Warmth
- (Love)
- 2. Expression of Parental Control
214 Parenting Styles
- Authoritarian Parents
- Permissive Parents
- Authoritative Parents
- Rejecting/Neglecting Parents
22Authoritarian Parents
- Excessive Control
- Minimal Warmth
23Authoritarian Parents
- highly demanding.
- expect their orders to be followed without
explanation. - no negotiation allowed
- obedience centered (Commander-in-chief)
- disciplinary methods tend to be harsh and
punitive - the parent-child relationship is fearful and
distant
24Children of Authoritarian Parents
- tend to be fearful, anxious
- have higher level of depression
- rebellious/defiant toward authority figures
- relies too much on authority for decisions
- lower self-esteem feels trapped and angry but
afraid to confront his parents - he may perform well in school, but the
achievement is more to meet the parents high
expectations.
25Permissive Parents
- These parents have little control.
- They may be indulgent or indifferent.
26Indulgent Permissive Parents
- Are overprotective
- Submit to their childrens whims and demands
- Cannot say no to their children.
27Indifferent Permissive Parents
- Are negligent
- Uninvolved in their childrens lives
- Often inconsistent in setting standards of
behavior.
28Children of Permissive Parents
- Are often self-centered.
- Are used to getting their own way
- Are low in social responsibility
- Display immature and regressive behaviors and may
grow up to be infantile adults. - Lack self-disciple and have little respect for
others.
29Children of Permissive Parents
- They are more likely to have behavioral problems,
perform less well in school and feel unloved.
Because they feel unloved or uncared for, they
usually attach themselves to peers who similarly
lack discipline.
30Authoritative Parents
- Balance of parental control and parental warmth.
31Authoritative Parents
- Warm and firm enforcing of standards of behavior
- Encouraging/affirming
- Provides children with autonomy with moderate
limits - Use disciplinary methods that are supportive
rather than punitive - There is a clear communication between parent and
child, and the lines of communication go both
ways
32Children of Authoritative Parents
- Performs better in school
- Is less hostile and has greater self-esteem
- Shows more purpose and independence in their
activities - Is more self-reliant and more socially competent.
- Has positive coping skills
- Has clear understanding of acceptable and
unacceptable behaviors
33Neglecting/Rejecting Parents
- These parents have low warmth.
- rejecting parents are harsh and actively reject
their children - neglecting parents ignore their children
34Neglecting/Rejecting Parents
- They fail to fulfill their responsibilities as
parents they may not be committed to the task of
raising children they may be depressed or
emotionally unavailable to their children.
35Children of Neglecting/Rejecting Parents
- show higher rates of delinquency, drug use and
early sexual activity. - perform poorly in school
- show disruptions in peer relations as well as
cognitive development.
36Children of Neglecting/Rejecting Parents
- show higher rates of delinquency, drug use and
early sexual activity. - perform poorly in school
- show disruptions in peer relations as well as
cognitive development.
37To My Grown Up SonsBy Alice E. Chase
- My hands were busy through the day
- I did not have time to play
- The little games you asked me to.
- I did not have much time for you.
- Id wash your clothes, Id sew and cook
- But when youd bring your picture book and ask me
please to share your fun, - Id say A little later, son.
38- Id touch you in all safe at night and hear your
prayers, - Turn out the light then tip toe softly to the
door, - I wish Id stay a minute more, for life is short
- The years rush past
- A little boy grows up so fast
- No longer is he at your side
- His precious secrets to confide
- The picture books are put away
39- There are no more games to play
- No good night kiss, no prayers to hear
- That all belong to yesteryear.
- My hands once busy, now lie still
- The days are long and hard to fill.
- Oh I wish I might go back to do
- The little things you asked me to.
-