EFFECTIVE EPR WRITING

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EFFECTIVE EPR WRITING
379 ELRS/LGRT 17 Oct 2005 Brought to you by
AFMentor
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Overview

• Why Write a Quality EPR?
• Bullet Construction
• How Many Bullets?
• Level of Leadership
• Trim the Fat
• Markings on the EPR
• Quantification
• Common Mistakes
• EPR vs Award
• Winning Packages
• Summary

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DISCLAIMER

• There are many ideas (some good, some bad)
  about how to write EPRs which may be contrary to
  information presented here. The ideas included
  here are suggested approaches that have proven
  effective in the past.

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WHY WRITE A QUALITY EPR?
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WHY WRITE A QUALITY EPR?

• There are dozens of uses for an EPR other than
  E-8/9 promotion boards

• Decorations
• BTZ / STEP Promotions

• OTS, ROTC, Air Force Academy applications
• Air Force Educational Leave of Absence (AFELA)
  formerly known as Bootstrap Education
• Air Force Institution of Technology (AFIT)
  applications

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WHY WRITE A QUALITY EPR?

• Weak bullets on an EPR make it difficult to write
  strong decoration, BTZ, STEP and other such
  packages

• EPRs with weak bullets do not provide the support
  needed for these programs and awards

• It is a disservice to your subordinates when you
  cut/ paste the same bullets to all 5 people you
  rate

• The EPR is the only way to track someone's long
  term potential and consistency
• The primary focus of an EPR is to show the whole
  person concept

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION
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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

• Step 1 Every action must have a
  quantifiable/tangible result

• If you cant assign a number, rate, quote, grade,
  or specific measured outcome to something, it may
  not be useful
• Enhancing morale is a non-quantifiable exception

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

• Step 2 Gather the facts
• Make sure your information comes from a credible
  source such as QA database, account custodian,
  inspection reports, etc.

• Use up to date information

• Results are always more credible if you can
  attach a specific number, rating, or quote

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

• Step 3 Write it down
• Write all actions and results
• Keep a running log so as not to exclude anything

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

• Step 4 Trim the fat
• Single, one line bullets
• Each main topic should be its own bullet

• Use acronyms
• If the acronym appears on the MAJCOM list, never
  spell it out
• Spell out on first use

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

• Step 4 Trim the fat
• Use acronyms
• Do not spell out equipment designations (be sure
  to identify what it is, i.e. aircraft, weapons
  system, etc.

• Use symbols to save space (, , /, K, M)

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

• Step 4 Trim the fat
• Say as much in as little space possible as long
  as bullet remains effective

• Example
• He is dedicated to the pursuit of academic
  excellence and the completion of a degree
• OR
• - Dedicated to academic excellence/degree
  completion

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

• Step 5 Edit
• Look for and replace words that are repeated in
  the EPR - especially adjectives like 'outstanding'

• If it needs to be read more than once to be
  easily understood, reword it

• Delete the fluff/filler words/space and add
  results

• Limit common phrases to no more than twice in an
  EPR

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

• Step 6 Use correct bullet punctuation
• Three periods () take more space than a (),
  (/), or (--)

• Semicolons () should come after the action if
  there is additional actions or details in the
  bullet before you get to the result
• They separate related thoughts that arent joined
  by a conjunction (and, but, or, etc)
• Semicolons break up multiple facts in a bullet
  that are loosely related

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BULLET CONSTRUCTION

• Step 6 Use correct bullet punctuation
• The double dash (--) is used after the last
  'action' and right before the result

Example - Repaired 15 master cylinders created
new renovation process--ensured 100 mission
capability
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HOW MANY BULLETS?
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HOW MANY BULLETS?

• Each bullet should be ONE line - when possible
• Wrap around bullets can be used, but 99 can be
  boiled down to one line

• Sub-bullets should only be used if theres more
  information than can fit in a one line bullet

• The main bullet should have a distinctive
  accomplishment and result
• Occasionally you may need the entire first bullet
  to spell out the accomplishment, but keep it to a
  minimum

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HOW MANY BULLETS?
-- Each sub-bullet should ATTEMPT to have a
distinctive accomplishment of its own, but a
clear result is absolutely MANDATORY
-- The result should be unrelated to the result
in the previous bullet/sub-bullet
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HOW MANY BULLETS?

• Example 1
• Led emergency shipment of 90M in assets 2 days
  early--rapid shipping saved 3K in A/C costs
• -- Shipment timeline smashed ACC estimate by
  50--received 4 FW/CC coin for A planning
• -- Early shipment permitted preemptive strike on
  300 enemy troops--effort lauded by COMEUCOM

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HOW MANY BULLETS?

• Example 2 (Before)
• Superior knowledge of F-16 aircraft, ability to
  communicate and work well with others makes him a
  first-rate maintenance instructor this is
  evident by the numerous positive comments denoted
  on the end of course critiques
• -- His quality instruction on the F-16 aircraft
  and attention
• to detail resulted in all his students
  receiving 100 percent
• pass rate on all end of course Wing Quality
  Assurance Evaluationsa maintenance training
  benchmark
• -- A direct result of the extra time he spends
  with students
• who have a weakness in performance of critical
  tasks

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HOW MANY BULLETS?

• Example 2 (After)
• Superior knowledge of F-16 first-rate
  maintenance instructor--consistently praised on
  end of course critiques
• Gifted instructor 100 pass rate on Wing Quality
  Assurance Evaluations--a maintenance training
  benchmark

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HOW MANY BULLETS?

• Community service/self-improvement bullets should
  be no more than one line long

While they are important, they should not
monopolize an EPR.
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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP
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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

• Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all
  inclusive

• A1C and Below
• Leadership in different areas special projects
  they took on and excelled (this sets them up for
  BTZ)
• 2-3 community service bullets/extra curricular
  activities they led (e.g. helped organize
  Christmas party)
• Highlight fast CDC completion or excellent EOC
  scores

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

• Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all
  inclusive

• SrA
• More focus on leadership than working
• Highlight programs they ran, people they taught,
  operations they crew chiefed
• Note higher level responsibility
• DG/John Levitow at ALS
• Participation in Honor Guard

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

• Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all
  inclusive

• SSgt
• Roughly 40 on leadership of others and projects
• Less on working, more on management and increased
  responsibility
• Exceptional CDC progress/completion
• Educational accomplishments demonstrate a
  willingness to lead/learn
• Leadership in community service programs

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

• Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all
  inclusive

• TSgt
• 60 or more on leadership of personnel
• Stress their performance of primary duties listed
  on the front of the EPR
• Focus on programs they ran above their normal
  duties
• Stress plans they revised/created, shops they
  helped setup or reorganize

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

• Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all
  inclusive

• TSgt (Cont)
• Management of schedules/workload/personnel/
  equipment/facilities/budget/training programs,
  etc
• Stress their performance of primary duties listed
  on the front of the EPR
• 2 bullets on community service something they
  helped coordinate
• Awards at NCOA ways they broaden and perfected
  their technical expertise and supervisory
  techniques

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

• Leadership focus at specific ranks - not all
  inclusive

• MSgt/SMSgt
• 80 or more on leadership show transition to
  operational leader
• Excellence in primary duty acceptance of
  additional duties chair of external programs
• State impact to unit/wing/MAJCOM/Air Force
• OPLANS, CONPLANS, FOIs authored/implemented
• Process improvements

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LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP

• All EPRs, regardless of rank, should include the
  following

• Pursuance of any college or continued education
• Receipt of any awards or coins from commanders
• Implementation of their idea/process at the group
  or above level
• Heroic acts
• Out of cycle promotion (BTZ, STEP)

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TRIM THE "FAT"
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TRIM THE "FAT"

• Is it a valid self-improvement? Is it relevant
  to the Air Force?

• Example
• Dedicated to fitness and personal
  well-beingquit
• smoking habit

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TRIM THE "FAT"

• Is the accomplishment at the members level of
  responsibility?

• Dont cut/paste bullets from an airmans EPR
• onto an NCOs EPR

• If an airman did the work, the NCOs EPR should
• reflect how he led the work

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TRIM THE "FAT"

• Is the education meaningful?

• Example
• Dedicated to continued education--actively
  enrolled in
• Community College of the Air Force

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TRIM THE "FAT"

• Is the education meaningful?

• Must be additional classes taken in pursuit of
  a
• degree

• Included the GPA if its outstanding

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TRIM THE "FAT"

• Delete the fillers

• That say nothing first bullet to set the
  stage

• Example
• Airman Smith is a superior performer with
  boundless
• initiative trusted to get the job done

• Effective stage setting

• State an outstanding achievement that directly
  relates to primary duties

• List a significant award received (Flt NCO of
  Year)

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TRIM THE "FAT"

• Delete the fillers

• The first indication of fluff is when
  unquantifiable
• words are used

Example Several, many, dozens, immeasurably, all

• Led review of all training records prior to Nov
  04 UCI
• Inspection--corrected several discrepancies

Correction - Led review of 192 training records
prior to Nov 04 UCI inspection--corrected 37
discrepancies
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TRIM THE "FAT"

• Delete meaningless power adjectives

Example Outstanding, impressive, superior,
terrific

• Outstanding! Led 15 people during shipment of
  28 pallets
• of munitions--completed 2 hours early

• Outstanding! didnt do more than take up 12
• letters
• Use the space to build accomplishment
• If the action is truly outstanding, the facts
  will
• speak for themselves

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TRIM THE "FAT"

• Delete meaningless power adjectives

• Better Example
• Led 15 people in shipment of 28 munitions
  pallets completed 2 hrs early--set ACC benchmark

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TRIM THE "FAT"

• Fat Indicators

• Greatly improved

• Reduced workarounds

• Improved safety

These phrases lack quantification

• Assisted with

A weak, passive expression that sounds like
someone played a minor role.
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
Start off by saying, he/she supervises XX
personnel. In the case of SrA, they might not
supervise someone. Then list the specific duties
they perform starting with the most to least
important. Numbers should be listed when
available. For instance, if they warehouse items,
list the amount or number of items. For
AB/AMN/A1C, this block is helpful to show
responsibility for BTZ consideration.
ADDITIONAL DUTIES List significant (long term)
duties. If an airman doesnt have at least 1
additional duty, the supervisor isnt doing
his/her job.
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

• There are 4 blocks in each category fails to
  meet the standard, meets the standard,
  exceeds standards, exemplifies standards

• Original intent meets the standard on par
  with peers
• Anything to the right was a mark up

• Current thinking any markings to left of
  exceeds
• standards was considered a mark down

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

• Markings should be honest and reflect performance

• Ensure that you are providing timely feedbacks

• Document poor performance

• Ratees should never be blindsided by EPR markings

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
AF Form 910 (Amn - TSgt)
- Managed 50 T.O. accounts corrected 27
discrepancies--zero defects on 12 QA inspections
- Rewrote master storage plan to rewarehouse 7
bldgs reclaimed 27 space--done 2 days early
- Organized workout program for 20 Airmen
annihilated personal fitness test--top 10 of sqdn
- First-5 organization Treasurer organized
carwash to support squadron picnic--raised 537
- Led 5 person crew palletizing 50K chaff/flare
for AEF 5/6 done 8 hrs early--no discrepancies
- Completed 5-lvl upgrade rqmts 3 months
early--outstanding 94 on CDC end of course exam
- Authored new fire symbol update process cut
notification time in half--QA fails down 22
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
AF Form 910 (Amn - TSgt)

• The most important bullet in this
  block--highlight exceptional performance of
  primary duties
• Save your 2 best bullets for line 1 of blocks V
  VI, the strongest of the 2 goes in block VI
• After first 2 bullets, talk about additional
  duty--avoid wrap around bullets at all costs
• -- No bullet more than one line and no more
  than 2 sub-bullets for each main bullet
• -- Avoid fancy adjectives--if you delete the
  flowery words, can it stand alone?
• Things affecting the flight/squadron should go in
  block V--save the bigger things for block VI

• -3rd and 2nd to last bullets in this block are
  good places for community service and school
• No single community service activity will warrant
  more than one line or bullet
• Stratify here or list major awards recd--this
  bullet should agree with the front markings

Any derogatory comments or mention of
administrative action in these blocks will make
this a referral EPR

• 1st bullet should enhance bullet 1 in block
  V--also a good place to mention special honors
• Things that affected the squadron, group, wing
  and Air Force should go here

- No single community service activity will
warrant more than one line or bullet - The most
important bullet in an EPR--list major awards
like BTZ, Sqdn NCO of Yr, etc
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
AF Form 911 (MSgt - CMSgt)
- Exceptional SNCO selected as 4 FW Maintenance
Professional of the Year for 2004
- Detected test set defect causing AIM-9
failures developed new process--implemented
AF-wide
- Authored new expenditure FOI reduced form
routing 32--accountability errors down 30
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR
Start off here by saying, he/she supervises XX
personnel, then list the specific duties they
perform starting with the most to least
important. Numbers are CRUCIAL. If they were an
account custodian, put in the amount or number
of items. Board members care VOLUMES more about
what this block says than they do about the Duty
Title. This section demonstrates their level of
responsibility, whereas the Duty Title is just a
flowery way to say it.
ADDITIONAL DUTIES List significant (long term)
duties
Any 'mark down' on a SNCO EPR very likely will
disqualify the member from senior rater
endorsement and guarantees they wont be promoted
that cycle.
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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

• The most important bullet--highlight exceptional
  performance in primary duty
• The 2nd bullet builds on 1st and reinforces
  performance in primary duty
• Accomplishments should relate to the flight/unit
  level--save higher levels for bottom
• -- Best to use sub-bullets here rather than in
  lower blocks
• -- No bullet should be more than 1 line and no
  more than 2 sub-bullets per main line

• The 2nd to last bullet should be hard hitting
  community service bullet--leadership
• 1 of MSgts assigned flt SNCO of Yr for
  2005 absolutely ready for promotion

• Bullet needs to address primary duties and
  reinforce line 1 above--the 2 must agree
• Avoid sub-bullets in this block unless
  absolutely necessary, then only one
• As last line in block V, stratify and list
  squadron or group recognition

• Line 1 5 are the most important bullets in the
  entire EPR--talk primary duties
• Use only single bullets--all bullets should be
  high level impacts
• Focus on events affecting the Wing, MAJCOM, Air
  Force--no community service here
• Stratify here/list major items MAJCOM/AF-level
  awards--this is 1st bullet noticed

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MARKINGS ON THE EPR

• Multi-line bullets should not be the first or
  last bullet in any block

• The level of impact should increase from top to
  bottom (Wing/MAJCOM/Air Force)

• Major wing or higher level awards should be
  bullet 1 in the endorsers block

• Bullets should indicate at what level an award
  was won

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QUANTIFICATION

• Quantify whenever you can.numbers add up

• Specific numbers are more believable than round
  or commonly used numbers

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COMMON MISTAKES
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COMMON MISTAKES

• AFFECT - (verb) to influence, to have an impact
  on something.
• Sticking your head in the toilet affects your
  ability to breath.
• EFFECT - (noun) the end result.
• The effect of the bomb was similar to what my
  house looks like after the kids eat too much
  sugar.

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COMMON MISTAKES

• RATE - A quantity, a number
• The inventory had a 100 accountability rate.
• RATING - A grade, a result
• The IG team gave them an overall rating of
  excellent.
• LAY - To place, to put down
• Please lay your gun down until you're sober.
• LIE - To recline
• Lie down before you fall down.

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COMMON MISTAKES

• ENSURE - To make certain, to watch closely, to
  guarantee
• His careful management of the budget ensured they
  had enough money for the entire year.
• INSURE - To provide insurance for
• You insure your car so it gets replaced if you
  crash it.
• ASSURE - To promise, to pledge
• I assure you, I wont knock over a liquor store
  this weekend.

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COMMON MISTAKES

• ACCEPT - To receive
• I'd like to thank the academy and accept this
  Oscar on behalf of my fans.
• EXCEPT - omit, set apart from
• He'd be a great politician, except for those 3 or
  4 felony convictions.

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COMMON MISTAKES

• MORALE - Spirit, sense of wellbeing
• The morale at this base needs to improve.
• MORAL - Personal value
• Moral people dont appear on Jerry Springer.
• THAN - comparison
• My wife is more beautiful than anyone I know.
• THEN - reference to time
• If we get nose rings, then we'll be cool.

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COMMON MISTAKES

• THERE (two most common uses)
• - adverb - a specific place
• Stand over there.
• - pronoun - used to introduce a clause or a
  sentence
• There is never a good reason to drink and drive.
• THEIR - describes ownership
• It's their party, so they'll cry if they want to.
• THEY'RE - they are
• They're going to prison.

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EPR vs AWARD

• EPR
• 28 Lines to paint a 1-year picture (33 SNCO)
• Permanent history of accomplishments

• Monthly or Quarterly Awards
• More freedom with abbreviations/acronyms
• Time criticalwill help build that bigger picture
• Career field awards have specified criteria

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WINNING PACKAGES
Wing Airman of Month Winner

• Troubleshot MA-3D compressor for not engaging
  isolated bad HPCO switch--abated 22K procurement
  costs
• Replaced MA-3D triple drive gearbox,
  blower/compressor clutch in 8 hrs--critical unit
  FMC in half std time!
• 1 of 33 Amn! Led AGE mx efforts in support of
  OIF missions--drove in-commission rate up 22 in
  3 weeks

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WINNING PACKAGES
Winning NCO Hard Charger

• Led production of 359K flight/ground meals
  supported over 1.3K combat sorties best in
  ACC/CENTAF AOR
• Managed largest FKO in AF 12 military/77
  TCN's/1.5M food service contract "coined" by
  CENTCOM/CC
• Led section test/integration of 350K CFS
  accountant software system benchmarked by CENTAF
  for AOR!
• Accounts for 12K tons of rations worth
  891K/471K in purchases/567K in issues
  "coined" by SECAF
• Brainchild vendor delivery process for aircrew
  operations saved AF 57K won "CC's Excellence
  Award"

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PRACTICAL EXERCISE

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Summary

• Why Write a Quality EPR?
• Bullet Construction
• How Many Bullets?
• Level of Leadership
• Trim the Fat
• Markings on the EPR
• Quantification
• Common Mistakes
• EPR vs Award
• Winning Packages
• Summary

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SOMETHING TO REMEMBER

• When the constitution was written, that was
  the style of penmanship for the times.
• Language changesas is evident by our ever
  growing Websters Dictionary.
• What may be acceptable writing today, may not be
  acceptable 1,3 or 5 years from now.
• When one thinketh ahead, we inevitability
  prepareth our future lineage for success!