Peer and Personal Review

1
Peer and Personal Review

• English 106
• Philathia Bolton, instructor

2
Break Down

• Revision (re-seeing)
• Organization (themes, points and particulars)
• Coherency
• Effectiveness of argument (any contradictions
  among points?)
• Editing (clarifying)
• Rewriting confusing sentences (locate the subject
  and the verb whats the relationship?, make the
  connection clear, separate long sentences into
  two or morewhen necessaryin order to make the
  meaning clear)
• Clarifying pronouns
• Commas (when to use them?)
• Reading through for common mistakes
  (subject-verb agreements, spelling, typos, tense
  shifts)

3
Revision

• Organizationare the paragraphs focused? Can you
  see how the particulars fall under one theme, as
  foreshadowed to by the point that begins the
  paragraph?
• Coherency- transition from one point to the next
  by finding, and then using, a common theme that
  connects the two points.
• i.e. As seen, the quality of the planes are
  important to the success of the company.
• common point both planes and cooperation
  are key to the success of the company. Here is
  the transitional sentence for a new paragraph
  that follows the one above Not only is the
  quality of the planes responsible for the
  effectiveness of the company, but also is the
  cooperation of people who work behind the scenes
  for the company. note The last part of this
  sentence forecasts a new topic for the paragraph.
  Readers will anticipate a conversation about how
  people behind the scenes add to the success of
  the company. Only information that supports this
  theme will appear in the paragraph. Topic
  sentences can also appear as a separate sentence
  after the transitional sentence.
• Effectiveness the points used indeed support the
  thesis. You guide the readers interpretation of
  the points and particulars (particulars also seen
  as the summarizing, paraphrasing, quoting of
  others sources to support your point, a point
  which should supports your thesis) You follow
  your use of others ideas with discussions that
  show how the ways in which their information
  strengthens your argument.

4
Editing

• Sometimes, just reading your essay aloud can help
  you find where awkward sentences are located.
  Having another person read your paper can also
  help draw attention to unclear moments.
• Do the subjects and the verbs agree? Look for
  this as a concern when a sentence is lengthy
  (pluralplural, singularsingular)
• i.e. The clouds in their grander hang low and
  give the kids a fun pastime. The boys and girls
  recognize images in its contours.
• This is a demonstrative pronoun. Its best to
  follow it up with a noun that clarifies what
  subject(s) you are referring to in a previous
  sentence.
• i.e. The students either fight to stay awake in
  class or shamelessly sleep during lectures. The
  disposition of the class, overall, is one of
  tiredness. This has the potential to frustrate
  the professor. (Is this referring to the
  disposition of the class? the students who
  sleep? the students as a whole? Most may see
  this as referring to disposition. However,
  to eliminate uncertainty, make the connection
  clear for your reader.)
• --Better--
• i.e. The students either fight to stay awake in
  class or shamelessly sleep during lectures. The
  disposition of the class, overall, is one of
  tiredness. This environment has the potential to
  frustrate the professor. (note Using
  environment as a noun that clarifies this can
  guide readers to see the frustration of the
  professor due to not only the atmosphere of the
  class but also to the students behaviors.)

5
Editing

• Comma usage People generally use commas in
  three ways to separate a list of items, to set
  off a modifying phrase, and to create compound
  sentences.
• List of items The rule is to use one comma less
  than the number of items in the sentence. i.e.
  Ones cultural background, values, prior
  knowledge, and interests contribute to shaping
  perception.
• Modifying and Introductory Phrases Whenever a
  phrase is used along with an independent clause (
  words that can be read as a complete sentence,
  having a subject and verb), you typically set it
  off by a comma. i.e. Just like women, men also
  express emotions. Just like women is the
  phrase that modifies men also express emotions.
  
• Compound sentences When using a conjunction to
  separate two clauses that are related and compact
  enough to appear as one sentence, you must
  incorporate a comma. i.e. I like to go shopping,
  but I will not go tomorrow. ,but separates
  2 groups of words (a.k.a. independent clauses)
  that can be read as complete sentences.
• The exception is when you use however. When
  however is used to separate independent
  clauses, you use a semicolon and a comma.
• i.e. I would like to go shopping however, I have
  an exam that I must study for tomorrow.
• i.e. Studying is important, however, so is
  resting. (The latter group of words-- so is
  resting is not an independent clause. Commas
  are used to set off however without the need
  for a semicolon.)
• In general, commas are used to aid reading
  comprehension. In other words, they are used to
  help sentences read smoothly and to help the
  ideas they contain appear clearly.

6
A Note about In-text Documentation

• It is important to give credit where credit is
  due. Using attributive tags when discussing
  other peoples work, knowing the differences
  among paraphrasing, quoting, and summarizing, and
  following incorporated sources with in-text
  documentation helps to accomplish this
  objective.
• When you use the authors name within the
  paragraph--
• Leo Bankss essay on tarantulas explores how
  Hollywood and the media at large give distorted
  perspectives on these spiders. He says, If an
  insect ever had an image problem, it is the
  tarantula (201). Bankss essay is a wonderful
  example on how media affectsHis discussion of
  the tarantula shows
• As Doe indicates, the media can not be entirely
  blamed for the way tarantulas are viewed (9).
  The support she offers on this issue clearly
  shows that one must not undervalue personal
  experience when thinking about perception. Banks
  would agree, in part, because he discusses how
  personal experience also impacts perception. He
  does this through his reflection on a Tucson bar
  owners contact with these spiders (Banks 203).

7
Seeking Additional Help

• Allyn and Bacon Chapter on Composing and Revising
  Closed-Form Prose, which begins on page 497.
• See pg. 512 for writing effective titles and
  introductions.
• See pgs. 518-519 for help creating topic
  sentences and focused paragraphs.
• See pgs. 522-525 for help on transitions
• See pgs. 541-543 for help creating conclusions
• OWL
• contains more information on commas and provides
  other examples for their usage.
  http//owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_c
  ommaproof.html
• http//owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_
  commaint.html
• contains guidance on other topics.
  http//owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/index2.html
  
• Writing Lab (hours on their website)
• Protocoltake assignment sheet and questions.
  They will not proofread or edit your paper.
• Instructors Office Hours (hours on syllabus)