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Men are from MARS, Women are from VENUS.

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Men are from MARS, Women are from VENUS. Mia Palma Palmam1_at_mail.montclair.edu Jennifer Lewin lewinj3_at_mail.montclair.edu Mike Lee leem11_at_mail.montclair.edu – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Men are from MARS, Women are from VENUS.


1
Men are from MARS, Women are from VENUS.
  • Mia Palma
  • Palmam1_at_mail.montclair.edu
  • Jennifer Lewin
  • lewinj3_at_mail.montclair.edu
  • Mike Lee
  • leem11_at_mail.montclair.edu

2
Introduction Book Summary/Thesis
  • Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John
    Gray
  • It is essential to learn new and healthy ways
    of relating and communicating (Gray, 1992).
  • This book focused on the differences in
    communication styles between men and women.
  • Offers suggestions to understanding how members
    of the opposite sex communicate.
  • Gray explains that couples can improve the
    quality of their relationship if when they can
    better understand how their partners communicate.
  • Gender insight helps us to be more tolerant and
    forgiving when someone doesnt respond the way we
    think he or she should (Gray, 1992)
  • That other variables, other than gender play a
    larger role in defining gender differences
    (Sprecher Toro-Mor, 2002)
  • Gender differences vary from culture to culture
    (Sprecher
    Toro-Mor, 2002)

3
Data from the Book
  • Gray (1992) makes wide swiping generalization
    about all men and all women throughout his
    book.
  • Based upon his personal experiences and 7 years
    of research (Gray, 1992)
  • Gray (1992) states that his theories and
    principals were tested and tried but does not
    say how
  • At least 90 (Gray,1992) of the more than
    25,000 individuals who attended his lectures
    recognized themselves and their partners in his
    theories
  • Data is anecdotal Descriptive stories of men
    and women and the different ways in which they
    communicate within their heterosexual
    relationships

4
John Gray says
  • Gray (1992) concludes that men and women
  • Are naturally different
  • Communicate in completely different ways
  • Use language differently
  • Constantly misunderstand each other
  • This leads to conflict, break ups and ultimately
    divorce.
  • (Source John Grays Men are from Mars, Women are
    from Venus, 1992)

5
The Hard Data
  • Gray (1992) does not -
  • Disclose how he conducted his questioning of
    more than 25,000 individuals
  • Provide data from a national representative
    sample
  • Go in to what makes men and women so different
    but hints to it being linked to biology
  • Claim that his data is scholarly or national
    representative

6
Men Women??
  • Gender differences in communication are often
    oversimplified and tend to vary from subculture
    to subculture (Cameron, 2007)
  • Men and women respond and communicate more
    similar than different (MacGeorge, et. al.,
    2004).
  • Men and women are different but share the
    similarity of needing yearning for something.
  • Example Men Women under Stress.

7
Men Under Stress.
  • Men- retreating into their cave
  • When a man is stressed, he will withdraw into the
    cave of his mind and focus on solving a problem
    (Gray, 1992)
  • If he cant find a solution then he does
    something to forget his problems, like reading
    the news or playing a game (Gray, 1992)
  • When he has found a solution, he feels much
    better and comes out of his cave (Gray, 1992).

8
Women Under Stress
  • When a woman becomes upset or is stressed by her
    day- to find relief, she seeks out someone she
    trusts and then talks in great detail about the
    problems of her day. When they finish sharing
    the feelings of being overwhelmed, she suddenly
    feels better.
  • - Like a big wave and then she crashes and calms
    down (Gray, 1992)

9
Demand-Withdrawl Behavior Problem
  • -Women demand attention
  • -Men withdraw to cave
  • Recently, demand-withdraw behaviors during
    conflict resolution among heterosexual couples
    have become a topic of particular interest due to
    many factors which include the high frequency of
    demand-withdraw behavior observed in distressed
    couples, the link between demand-withdraw
    behavior and declines in satisfaction of
    relationship and the link between demand-withdraw
    behavior and spousal abuse (Cayem, Stierwalt,
    Sprawls, McIlroy, 2008).

10
On the Contrary
  • Men, when dealing with a problem, will talk to an
    older person or elder (big brother, pastor,
    father) for guidance advice.
  • Women, when dealing with a problem will seek to
    comforting activities to forget about her
    troubles
  • Shopping
  • Pedicure/maniciure
  • Buying jewelry
  • Cleaning
  • Source http//www.askmarsvenus.com/dr-john-gray.p
    hp http//www.guardian.co.uk/world/2007/oct/01/g
    ender.books

11
Look at the chart and see how men and women are
very similar/different in many areas.
12
Quality of Data
  • The researchers (MacGeorge, et. al, 2004)
    received an Distinguished Publication Award for
    their work
  • Data was published in a scholarly journal
  • Relatively small sample size
  • Data was based upon a regional sample but with a
    wide range of individuals from different
    ethnicitys / SES and ages
  • The racial makeup of the participants were
    national representative
  • A remake of an earlier study.

13
The Results are in!
  • The data we found -
  • Refutes MOST of Grays statements
  • Points to that men and women are more alike then
    different
  • The differences in the way men and women
    communicate / use language are not that
    different.
  • The author is trained to write a self-help book
    but he needs to be more open-minded and
    considerate of the different cultures and
    relationships that surround our societal norm.

14
Discussion Conclusion
  • John Gray has a large number of followers
  • He claims to have saved countless marriages
  • Some good points
  • However
  • The book is patronizing towards both men and
    women
  • Perpetuates the myth of natural gender
    differences

15
Discussion Conclusion
  • Some research supports Grays ideas.
  • Women tend to experience higher levels of stress
    after a stressful event.
  • Men tend not to show their emotions after a
    stressful event.
  • Most of our findings go against Grays ideas.
  • The ways in they communicate, such as their use
    of language, tend to be more similar than
    different between men and women.

16
Future Research
  • We found both information that went along with
    Grays findings and against it.
  • One thing that I would suggest to change in
    future research on this topic would be sample
    size.
  • Most research was done through small sample sizes
  • Using larger samples would result in a more
    accurate result.

17
References
  • Cameron, D. (2008). The Myth of Mars and Venus
    Do men and women really speak different
    languages? USA Oxford University Press.
  • Cayem,D., Stierwalt, J., Sprawls, J., McIIroy,
    J. (2008). Male Communication in a Heterosexual
    Dating Relationship. Psychology of men,
    29,110-116.
  • Gray, J. (1992). Men are from Mars, Women are
    from Venus. New York, NY HarperCollin.
  • MacGeorge, E., Graves, A., Feng, B., Gillihan,
    J., Burleson, B. (2004). The myth of gender
    cultures Similarities outweigh differences in
    mens and womens provision of and responses to
    supportive communication. Sex Roles, 50, 143-175.
  • Sprecher, S., Toro-Mor, M. (2002). A study of
    men and women from different sides of earth to
    determine if men are from Mars and women are from
    Venus in their beliefs about love and romantic
    relationships. Sex Roles, 46, 131-147.

18
Youtube Video
  • http//www.youtube.com/watch?vry7lRjuKXvkfeature
    relmfu

19
Exam Question 1
  • According to John Grays book Men Are From Mars
    Women Are From Venus, which best represents the
    way women communicate?
  • Women tend to keep their feelings hidden.
  • Women pull away and retreat to their cave.
  • Women seek support and confide in someone else to
    share their feelings with.
  • Women tend to ignore their problems and find
    something to do to keep their minds busy.
  • Answer - C

20
Exam Question 2
  • 1. Which of the following statements do NOT
    represent the ideas from the book Men are from
    Mars, Women are from Venus?
  • A. Men and women are fundamentally different in
    almost every way
  • B. Men and women have no problems communicating
    with each other
  • C. Women and Men come from different planets
  • D. Men and women speak different languages
  • Answer is - B

21
Exam Question 3-
  • Based on the demand-withdraw behavior pattern
  • A. Men are more open to showing their feelings
    and venting to their significant other.
  • B. Women are more withdrawn and will refocus
    their problems onto something else that will
    distract them.
  • C. Men and Women both are able to talk about
    their problems only after sex.
  • D. Men are more prone to watch a game to get his
    mind off of his problems while women are more
    prone to talk in detail until she has everything
    out in the open.
  • Answer is D
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