7 Effective Ways To Help Your Child Learn Manners

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7 Ways To Teach Your Child Good Manners
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• How your child behaves is a reflection of the
  way he or she has been brought up. Parents play
  the main role in inculcating good manners in
  children followed by the teachers and others
  around. Nowadays most parents find it difficult
  to deal with their kids and are not sure about
  how to develop good behavior in them. Here are a
  few tried and tested ways in which you can make
  your child behave properly.

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1. Be The Role Model

• When you want your child to follow certain
  manners, be sure to practice this yourself.
  Children, right from a very early age, show an
  inclination towards imitating their parents. So
  if you are well-behaved chances are that your
  child will be too. Some basic rules to follow
  would be-
• Do not use bad language.
• Do not talk foul about others.
• Follow good food habits and eat plenty of fruits
  and vegetables.
• Do not give in to mood swings.
• Do not shout at your kids or anyone else.
• Follow good habits of cleanliness.
• Behave properly with elders so that your child
  can emulate your behaviour.
• Exercise regularly so that your child also does
  so and keeps fit. Studies have shown that
  physically fit children are happy kids and rarely
  throw tantrums.
• Follow good table manners.
• Be tidy and keep your house and surroundings
  clean.

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2. Get Support

• Sometimes it has been seen that people around the
  child have a deeper impact on them than their
  parents. This is especially so in the pre-teen
  age group. Discuss your childs behavior with his
  or her teacher or grandparents, neighbours, etc.
  Ask your childs grandparents to talk to him or
  her about good manners and reprimand mildly when
  they do not follow. When my daughter visits my
  sister and her family, she returns home better
  behaved than before. It is not that my sister
  teaches her anything different than what I do at
  home but a different messenger can have a greater
  impact than the same one who the child has to
  listen to all the time.

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3. Always Be Positive

• Threatening your child with dire consequences
  will not instill good manners in him or her. In
  fact this sends out a wrong message that learning
  manners can be terrifying. Instead make the
  process enjoyable with lots of laughs thrown in.
  Use affirmative language while speaking to them.
  Replace foolish with not clever or boring
  with not fun and so on. When they demand things
  in an impolite manner teach them how the same
  demand can be replaced by a request and can be a
  lot more effective in getting them what they
  want. Many kids shout out their wishes in the
  hope that shouting will be more affirmative. For
  example when they want a particular object they
  may say You have to give me a new video game or
  I will not study. Yes, children do use threats
  and parents have to thank themselves for this
  because this is what we teach them. If you dont
  study, you will not watch television or you
  will get a new cycle if you behave properly.
  This sends out a message that the child needs to
  behave well only for a short period of time until
  the wish is fulfilled. Teach them to rephrase
  their wishes and voice them out like request. The
  wish for a new video game can be rephrased and
  said politely as Please can I have the new video
  game after my exams are over? But they should
  also be taught that they cannot have everything
  that they ask for even if they request politely.
  You can explain to them the reason why you think
  that their wish cannot be adhered to instead of a
  big No which will make them more rebellious.

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4. Be Like Them

• When your child is whiny or speaks rudely,
  imitate them with a smile on your face. Even
  aping their facial expression works here. You
  will find that instead of being strict and
  reprimanding them at all times, being silly also
  works at times. Kids can hear what they sound
  like and feel silly about their behaviour.
  Chances are they will stop repeating the tantrum.
  Just be careful that you do not cross the
  borderline here. You are still the parent.

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5. Role Playing Works

• Role play situations with your child and make it
  fun. Pretend that both of you are at a store and
  show your child when to say Thank you or
  Excuse me. Also demonstrate how to wait
  patiently for your turn. You could act out a
  situation where a visitor comes to your house and
  is met by your child at the door. Or when you are
  visiting somebody and the proper things to say.
  Sometimes children misbehave because they are not
  sure of the right things to say in a situation.
  Learning through role play will be fun and more
  impressionable.

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6. Eat Meals Together

• It is a good practice to eat meals together as
  one unit. This may be possible only for dinner
  and when your child does not need to be fed. This
  is the best place to practice the right
  etiquettes such as how to ask for something that
  is away from you, how to chew your food properly,
  how to eat slowly as well as ensure that your
  child eats a little bit of everything that is
  laid out on the table. Encourage the child to eat
  a variety of vegetables in small bites. Also
  discourage overeating and talking with the mouth
  full. Although it is recommended that you do not
  give in to your childs food tantrums by giving
  him or her only junk food, dont be very stern
  about what he or she eats unless you feel its
  not healthy. If you feel that he or she is
  rejecting a particular food often, then withdraw
  the item for a period of time.

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7. Ask Them For Ideas

• We adults tend to impose our ideas on our kids
  too often. We feel we know best what is right and
  advice them accordingly. Just like we do not like
  lectures, our children also get immune to the
  lecturing after sometime. They stop listening.
  This is a deplorable situation and should not
  occur. The best alternative would be to ask for
  their ideas. When they have behaved improperly,
  ask them how their behaviour could have been
  different. When you see another child behaving
  improperly, ask your child what is wrong in the
  situation and you will be surprised how mature
  his or her understanding is. Sometimes it is
  necessary to treat your child like an equal. Get
  their whole-hearted participation and let them
  find out how to behave well.

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• Good manners need to be inculcated and not
  imposed on children. Following good manners
  should come naturally and should not seem to be
  affectations. Behaving well and following good
  manners yourself will foster these in the
  children too. Being more of a friend instead of a
  stern disciplinarian works better in most
  situations. However, giving in to your childs
  tantrums is not a good idea. Be firm without
  sounding repetitive in your quest to instill good
  manners. Make learning of good manners fun with
  role playing and imitation so that the child
  learns the folly of his or her ways. One last
  word, do not expect your child to behave like an
  adult. Kids will be kids and expecting mature
  behaviour will spoil the fun of growing up.

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