LOVE

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LOVE LOGIC9 Essential Skills for Love
Logic Classrooms(Low Stress Strategies for
Highly Successful Educators) Clara Cáceres
ContrerasSchool Health/SDFSCRegion One
ESC956-984-6125clara.contreras_at_esconett.orgwww.
esc1.net
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Love and Logics Wish for You

• That your students will look at you and think
• Thats the strictest teacher Ive ever knownand
  I want to be in their class!

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The Most Powerful Teacher

• Has high expectations
• Sets firm limits
• Holds students accountable for their behavior
• Is very caring and kind
• Loves kids and loves teaching them

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Love Logic Teaches How To

• Put an end to student arguing and back-talk
• Buy yourself time by delaying consequences
• Teach responsibility by applying consequences
  with empathy
• Preserve the learning environmentand your
  sanityif students become disruptive and refuse
  to comply

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Love Logic Teaches How To

• Build positive relationships with challenging
  kids
• Set limits without having to remind, lecture, or
  threaten
• Avoid Power struggles by giving choices within
  limits
• Teaches students how to solve their own problems

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Module 1Neutralizing Student Arguing

• That arguing is one way that challenging students
  exert unhealthy control over classrooms and
  schools
• How adult-child arguments often contribute to the
  development of more serious acting behavior
• Why reasoning with arguing students is
  ineffective
• A practical skill for disengaging from arguments
  by repeating one statement like a broken record
• How to apply this skill with empathy instead of
  anger or sarcasm

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Module 1Neutralizing the Arguing

• Go brain dead!
• Choose one that fits you and memorize itPRACTICE
  with your partner.
• Samples
• I like (love), (respect) you too much to argue
• I know
• Thanks for sharing
• Probably so
• Nice try
• Thats an option
• I dont know. What do you think?
• I bet it feels that way
• Ill listen when your voice is calm
• Repeat the one-liner, like a broken record

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Module TwoDelayed Consequence

• About research that shows why consequences do not
  always need to be immediate
• How to delay consequences in a way that yields
  the benefits of delayed consequences and
  immediate consequences at the same time
• That delayed consequences allow one to calm down,
  develop an effective plan and avoid Knee jerk
  reaction
• Why repeated warnings are damaging to students
  and schools
• How to develop an enforceable classroom
  discipline plan

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Module 2The Delayed or Anticipatory Consequence
with Empathy

• Oh no. This is sad Im going to have to do
  something about this But not nowlatertry not
  to worry about it.
• Im going to do something become a consequence
  tooan Anticipatory Consequence.
• More important than how long it takes us to
  deliver a consequence is whether or not we always
  do so when we say we will.FOLLOW THROUGH!

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Module 2Problems with Warnings

• Students cant resist the challenge
• They will find creative ways of breaking the
  rules so the consequences no longer fit
• They play brain drain arguing with us about the
  consequence
• Use our rules and consequences to orchestrate
  conflict between us their parents

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Module 2Mrs. Barlows Plan

• Please dont make a problem for others
• If you make a problem, I will do something

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Module 2How I Run My Love Logic Classroom

• I will treat you with respect, so you know how to
  treat others.
• Feel free to do anything that doesnt cause a
  problem for anyone else.
• If you cause a problem, I will ask you to solve
  it.
• If you cant solve it or choose not to, I will do
  something.
• What I do will depend on the special person the
  special situation.
• If you feel something is unfair, whisper to me,
  Im not sure thats fair and we will talk.

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Module 2Delayed ConsequencesRules having to
do with public safety should be spelled out in
advance and students should know what the
consequences of breaking these rules will be.
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Module 3Empathy

• How the human brain responds to threat by
  narrowing thinking and shifting into Flight or
  flight
• That empathy is a powerful tool for helping
  students remain in thinking mode.
• That providing empathy before delivering
  consequences allows students to learn from the
  consequenceinstead of developing resentment
  toward the adult
• Why empathy without accountability leads to
  irresponsibility and low self-esteem
• Practical tips for using sincere empathy even
  when anger feels more natural

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The most successful teachers and parents deliver
a strong dose of empathy, or sadness for the
child, before they described the consequence.
Empathic phrases How sad..This is so
sad This has got to be so hard Oh
no This stinks What a bummer What a
drag Oh, this is never good Oh
man DangWhich one fits you your students
the best? Write it in the blank below. Try it out
with your partnerpractice!
Module 3-Empathy
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Module 3 That Create Fight or Flight

• What was said
• Whats wrong with you
• Get to work
• (Nothing)
• Your sisters were such good students
• How sad
• How come you always do that

• How it was said
• With plenty of frustration
• With anger
• Rolls eyes at student
• Condescending tone
• With sarcasm
• With irritation

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The most successful parents and teachers
delivered their empathy with sincerity. Their
words and actions said the same thing. I care
about you!

• Its amazing that we have the power to change
  another persons brain functioning with just the
  tone of our voice, the look on our face, or a few
  short words?

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Empathy Prevents Fight or Flight!Our words
and actions bring students into either thinking
modeor survival mode.Empathy opens the mind
and heart to learning.
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Providing empathy alone can emotionally cripple
a child.What else needs to be in place?
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Empathy without holding kids accountable erodes
responsibility and self-concept.Empathy
followed by logical consequences builds
responsibility.
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Empathy versus Sympathy

• Erodes self-esteem
• Prevents responsibility
• Easy in the short runbut backfires in the long
  run
• You are not capable..let me rescue you
• EnablingPobrecito

• Builds self-esteem
• Fosters responsibility
• Difficult in the short runbut rewards in the
  long run
• You are capable..it is your problem..you can
  figure it out
• Empowering

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Empathy is a powerful tool when we

• Deliver it with sincerity, NOT sarcasm
• Always send it BEFORE describing the consequence
• Keep it SIMPLE

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Module 4The Recovery Process

• How to use the recovery area approach to
  preserve the learning environment
• The basic goals of this approach
• The importance of adapting this approach to their
  unique school
• What to do if a student refuses to go to Recovery
  when asked
• Related legal issues and tips for explaining this
  approach to parents

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A good minute is when a students actions do
not create a problem for others.Every bad
minute should be spent in Recovery.All good
minutes should be spent back in the classroom.
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Module 4Questions for Plugging the Holes in
Your Recovery Plan

• Where can students go for Recovery in our school?
• How will we know they made it to where they were
  supposed to go?
• How will they be supervised in these settings?
• Under what conditions should students be sent to
  Recovery?
• How should they be sent?

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When we use Recovery correctly we send the
following messageI care far too much for you
to allow you to misbehave in my class. I care
enough about you to set some limits.
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Build Positive Relationships Before Problems
AriseListen, Listen, Listenwith EmpathyHelp
Parents Understand What You Are Really Doing.
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Module 5Teaches Developing Positive
Teacher/Student Relationships
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Model 5Developing Positive Teacher/Student
Relationships

• How coercive strategies and tangible rewards
  backfire with disruptive, resistant students
• That positive teacher-student relationships are
  the key to success with such students
• The difference between general praise and
  specific encouraging feedback
• The importance of greeting students each day with
  the 3 elements of bondingfriendly eye contact, a
  smile and a handshake
• The One-Sentence Intervention technique for
  building successful relationships with the most
  challenging students

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Tough students will do things for teachers they
really like and respect.The quality of my
relationship with a student is far more powerful
than the sum total of all discipline techniques
known to humankind.
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They have to know that I care about them and
their lives beyond the classroomDo you know
their STORY Bill Gates
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Model 5Master Teachers are Strict Caring at
Same Time

• Positive relationship
• Build trust rapport
• High expectations
• Friendly, but firm
• Respect them
• Know the childs interest, strengths concerns
• Value the child unconditionally
• Consistent fair
• Encourage
• NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP!

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Wise teachers know that challenging kids

• Need encouragement instead of praise
• Need us to give this encouragement in private
• Need to test our sincerity by acting a bit worse
  in the short term
• Need us to keep reaching out even when it looks
  like it isnt working

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Praise vs Encouragement

• Vague or very general
• Describe OUR feeling
• Certain to backfire with difficult students
• Example
• This is great!
• You did that very well
• I just love that

• Very specific
• Describes the STUDENTS effort
• Effective with all students
• Example
• You finished that!
• You stayed in your seat the whole time.
• You got 7 out of 10 correct. How does that feel?

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Module 5Positive Teacher/Student Relationships
Three Elements of Human Bonding

• Friendly Eye Contact
• Smile
• Friendly Touching
• (hand shake, high five, etc.)
• What do you do to connect with kids?

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Schools that post stern guards have kids who
become too sneaky to catch.Schools that
provide friendly supervision have kids who are
too busy bonding to misbehave.
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Module 5 0ne Sentence Interventions

• Start and end with I NOTICED THAT
• Example
• I noticed that you like to draw. After student
  responds, finish with I noticed that.
• I noticed that you like football.
• I noticed that you dont let anybody give
  you a hard time.
• Create a list of traits, patterns, and likes that
  would be age-appropriate for the child or person
  you wrote down as argumentative and try it.
• Think of your Challenging Person and create a
  list .

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Module 5 When Multiple Students Misbehave at
Once

• Identify the leader
• Find acceptable ways for these leaders to look
  good in from of the group
• Spend extra time building relationships with
  these leaders
• When leaders begin to misbehave, intervene
  quickly (whisper, smile, walk away)
• If the leader does not comply, and other students
  begin to join in, fall back on your Recovery plan
• Have brief one-on-one follow-up meetings with the
  leaders

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Module 6Setting Limits with Enforceable
Statements

• Why its important for educators to set fair and
  consistent limits with students
• How to set such limits in ways that decrease
  resistance and power struggles
• How to set limits that are easily enforceable
• Specific examples of enforceable limits, or
  enforceable statements
• How to enforce limits through the use of questions

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The happiest students are those with teachers
who set reasonable limits.The happiest
teachers are those who know how to set AND
enforce these limits without having to raise
their voice.
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The key to setting enforceable limits is to
describe what WE are willing to do instead of
telling students what THEY should do.
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Module 6Enforceable Statements

• I assign full credit to papers handed in on time
• Ill listen when your voice is calm
• I take quiet classes to recess
• Ill listen to students who raise their hands
• Write your favorite Enforceable Statement
• ___________________________________
• Share it with your neighbor

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Module 6Enforceable Statements

• Turn the following unenforceable statements into
  enforceable ones
• 1. Unenforceable Quit arguing
• Enforceable ____________________
• 2. Unenforceable Hand your paper in on time.
• Enforceable ____________________
• 3. Unenforceable Treat each other with respect.
• Enforceable ____________________
• 4. Unenforceable Behave in the hall.
• Enforceable _____________________
• 5. Unenforceable Dont park your cars in the
  teachers lot.
• Enforceable__________________
• 6. Unenforceable Keep your hands to yourself.
• Enforceable _________________
• 7. Unenforceable Quiet Down.
• Enforceable ________________

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Module 6Enforce Limits with Questions

• Which papers receive full credit?
• Who do I listen to?
• Who do I take to recess?
• Who gets to stay with the class?

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Module 7Using Choices to Prevent Power
Struggles

• That a general sense of personal control is a
  basic human emotional control
• That most people will do almost anything to
  regain control
• How to share control to gain more of it
• Guidelines for sharing control through choices
  within limits
• Specific examples of appropriate versus
  inappropriate choices

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There exists no limit to what people will do for
control.We can either give people control on
OUR termsor wait for them to take it on
THEIRS.Humans Are Willing to Harm
Themselves in Order to Regain a Sense of Control.
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Make lots and lots of little choices about issues
that dont cause a problem for youor anyone else.

• The more small choices you give, the easier your
  job will be.
• Example of Appropriate Choices
• Should this assignment be due next Monday or next
  Tuesday
• Feel free to do this in print or in cursive
• You may hang your backpacks on the hook or set
  them on the floor just below it

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Teachers who give appropriate choices find
themselves involved in far fewer power struggles
than those who do not.
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Module 7Appropriate vs Inappropriate Choices

• Choices should not be threats in disguise
• Only give choices that wont make a problem for
  you
• Give options that will make you happy, regardless
  of what your students decide
• Give your students the small choices. Save the
  big ones for yourself.
• If your students dont make a choice within ten
  seconds, choose for them.
• Offer choices BEFORE your students become
  resistantnot after.

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We dont have to give choices all of the
timethe key is to build a saving account by
giving choices when you feel the most energetic
and creative.
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Threats in choice form are still threats in
disguise.Threats backfire because they hoard
control instead of sharing it.Disguised
threatDo you want to behave or do you want to
get sent to the principal?
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Module 7Using Choices to Prevent Power
Struggles Experiment

• Make a list of choices you feel comfortable
  giving.
• Pick one or two of your favorites.
• Write these favorites on a slip of paper and tape
  it to your desk.
• See how your students react when they hear these
  choices.
• What kind of deposits are you willing to make?

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Module 8Quick Easy Preventive Interventions

• About research showing that effective teachers
  spend most of their time and energy preventing
  behavior problems instead of reacting to them
• Specific interventions designed to prevent
  disruptive behavior
• Guidelines for using preventive interventions
  versus using logical consequences
• The importance of addressing discipline on two
  levels prevention of misbehavior and
  accountability for poor behavior
• That positive teacher-student relationships are
  the foundation of preventative discipline

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Quick Easy Preventive Interventions

• Give the evil eye (or a smile and wink from
  across the room.
• Walk toward the student while teaching.
• Stand close to the student and continue to teach.
• Establish eye contact and slightly shake your
  head, indicting No.
• Which teaching, gently place your hand on the
  students shoulder.
• Stop briefly and whisper something like, Can you
  save that for later?
• Change the students location within the
  classroom.
• Whisper something like, That behavior is fine
  for after school.
• Use an I-message (I find it hard to teach when
  you do that. Thanks for stopping.)
• Use an enforceable le statement (I allow
  students to stay with the group when they are not
  causing a problem.)
• Provide choices (Are you going to be able to
  stop that and stay? Or will you need to leave for
  a while?)
• Ask the student to leave for a brief Recovery
  period.
• Require the student to complete a problem-solving
  form during recovery, before he can return to the
  group.
• Excuse the student to the office for a short
  cooling off period. No counseling or discussion
  takes place with the student during this period.
• Give the student an appointment to talk with you
  about the problem.
• Restrict the student from the area of his
  infraction until a new plan of action is
  identified and written by the student.
• Restrict the student from the area of the
  infraction until you feel that another try is in
  order. The student is allowed to be in this area
  only when they are not causing a problem.

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Module 8Identify three adjectives that best
describe your most favorite teachers!

• Most Favorite Teacher 1
• ________________
• ________________
• ________________
• Most Favorite Teacher 2
• ________________
• ________________
• ________________

• Will you make the list?
• Whose list are you on?

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Sometime in the future you may be listed as
someones most favorite teacher.What
adjectives will they be using to describe you?
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Module 8Use Preventative Interventions When

• You can tell that a student is just about to
  misbehave but hasnt yet
• The misbehavior is relatively small yet
  distracting
• The misbehavior hasnt become a chronic problem
  and the student is basically responsible
• You need to put a quick stop to the behavior so
  you can continue teaching

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Module 8 Apply Logical Consequences When

• A students behavior has created a major problem
  for others
• The misbehavior is small yet has become chronic
• The student needs to learn a real world lesson
  about responsibility, respect, etc.
• When you have the time to put together a plan
  with the support of others

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Module 8Apply Logical Consequences When

• A Students Behavior has Created a Major Problem
  for Others
• The Misbehavior is Small Yet has Become Chronic
• The Student Needs to Learn a Real World Lesson
  About Responsibility, Respect, et.
• When You Have the Time to Put Together a Plan
  with the Support of Others

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The more SMALL problems we ignore, the more BIG
one well have.Great teachers know that SMALL
fires are easier to extinguish than LARGE
ones.Ineffective teachers wait until they get
BURNED.
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Powerful and lasting solutions address both
UNDERLYING NEEDS and SYMPTOM MISBEHAVIORS.

• Focus heavily on prevention and meeting basic
  needs. (affection, control, self-competence, peer
  group status, increase of adult eyes smiles,
  etc.)
• When students misbehave, apply strong doses of
  empathy and hold them accountable.

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Module 9Guiding Students to Own Solve Their
Problems

• Five steps for helping students learn to own
  solve their problems
• Why its important that educators avoid rescuing
  students by solving their problems for them
• How to avoid resistance while helping students
  learn to problem-solve
• Guidelines for determining when to allow students
  to solve problems versus when to step in
• The importance of keeping our disciplinary
  discussions with students very brief

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Giving the Gift of Problem Solving

• When they PROBLEM SOLVEmessage is
• I am strong.
• I can think for yourself.
• I can solve the problems I encounter!
• I feel PROUD EMPOWERED!

• When you RESCUE themmessage is
• I am weak.
• I cant make it without me
• I cant think for yourself.
• I need other people to tell you what to do
• I feel helpless and useless.

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Module 9Five Steps for Helping Students to Own
Solve Their Problems

• Provide a strong dose of Empathy (statement).
• Hand the problem back in a caring way.
• (Ask,What are You Going to Do)
• Ask permission to share some solutions and
  provide choices. (Offer a Menu of Suggestions.)
• Help the student evaluate the potential
  consequences of each choice. (Ask, How Will That
  Work For You?)
• Allow the student to either solve or not solve
  the problemlet me know what you decide
• Follow upwhat did you dohow did it work for
  you?

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Great teachers resist the urge to rescue
students or to rub salt in the wound by
lecturing.Their students are allowed to solve
problems in ways that do not create additional
problems for anyone on the planet.Love
Logic teachers step in only when a students
problemor solutionis likely to cause lasting
harm to the student or others.
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Reflective Questions-Resources

• New idea to research implement
• Who am I going to share information
• By when will I try new idea or implement

• www.loveandlogic.com
• www.search-institute.com
• www.americaspromise.org
• www.at-risk.com
• www.nydic.org
• www.resiliency.com
• www.esc1.net