Making the Presentation

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Making the Presentation

• OrHow do I get the job even when I feel like
  tossing my cookies

I bring this with me every time I have to make
a presentation. One can never be too sure, can
they?
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ALSO KNOWN AS THE

• DOG AND PONY SHOW!

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SOMETIMES A GREAT PRESENTATION CAN LAND A CLIENT
EVEN WHEN THE PROPOSAL HAS NO SUBSTANCE!
I thought the part where you turned around and
showed us your fake butt was very creative. I
think thats what got us the account.
What fake butt?
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HERE ARE SOME GUIDELINES FOR MAKING AN ORGANIZED
AND COHERENT ORAL PRESENTATION
I dont think telling the client about
your hernia surgery is going to land us the
account. I can tell them about the time I
slept in the airport. Whos going to talk
about our ideas? I heard if you just
razzle-dazzle them, you dont need
ideas. Maybe we should go as clowns.
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BEFORE THE DAY OF YOUR PRESENTATION, FIND OUT
WHAT FACILITIES AND TECHNOLOGY ARE AVAILABLE
YOU WERE RIGHT, AND I WAS WRONG. THEY DIDNT
HAVE A DIGITAL PROJECTOR, AND WHEN THE GUY TRIED
TO LOOK AT MY LAPTOP, HE STRAINED HIS NECK, AND
THEY HAD TO CALL AN AMBULENCE. THEN, THE
AMBULENCE CRASHED, AND THE GUY WENT FLYING OUT
THE BACK DOOR AND WAS HIT BY ONE OF THOSE ALLIED
MOVING VANSDID I TELL YOU WE DIDNT GET
THE ACCOUNT?
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THEN, MODIFY YOUR PRESENTATION TO FIT THE SITES
PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS

• NOPE. NO BATHROOM.
• THEY GOT A BIG TREE IN
• THE BACK.
• YOU GOT THE BATTERIES
• FOR THE COMPUTER AND THE PROJECTOR?
• I LEFT THEM ON THE DOG SLED OUTSIDE.
• DONT LOOK NOW, BUT A BIG BEAR JUST
• TOOK OUR LUNCH.

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AND, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A CONTINGENCY PLAN

• WHAT IF THEY DONT HAVE ALL THAT
  ELECTRONIC STUFF?
• WELL USE THE LEGO BLOCKS.
• INSTEAD OF THE POWERPOINT, WELL GO
• WITH THE MAGIC CRAYONS AND THE MY
• LITTLE PONY ETCH-A-SKETCH.

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AND NOW TO THE PRESENTATION

• TED SPENT A LOT OF TIME PREPARING FOR THE
  PRESENTATION, BUT IF HE MENTIONS THAT INCIDENT
  WITH THE HORSE ONE MORE TIME, WERE SUNK.
• MARYS REAL HOT. I WONDER IF SHE LIKES HORSES.

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FIRST, YOU (AND YOUR GROUP MEMBERS) INTRODUCE
YOURSELF OR SELVES
HI, MY NAME IS OPRAH WINFREY. TO MY RIGHT IS
BRAD PITT, AND ON MY LEFT IS ANGELINA JOLIE.
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HERE, YOU WOULD EXCHANGE BUSINESS CARDS

• JOE, JIM SMITH. NICE TO
  MEET YOU. MY CARD.
• CALL ME JIM. HERE, TAKE
  MY CARD.
• JANE, IM JOSH. HERES
  MY CARD.
• HI JOSH. TAKE MY CARD.
• HERES MY CARD.
• THATS OKAY. IM THE PIZZA GUY.

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THEN, REMIND THEM WHY YOURE THERE

• WERE HERE TODAY TO MAKE OUR ADVERTISING
  PRESENTATION TO THE ACME FRAMITZ COMPANYOH, BY
  THE WAY, DO YOU VALIDATE PARKING HERE?

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TELL THEM HOW LONG THE PRESENTATION WILL LAST

• WE PROMISE OUR MEETING WONT LAST MORE THAN
  ONE-HOURTHATS IF BARNEY DOESNT START TALKING
  ABOUT HIS SONS ATTENTION DEFICITAND MARY
  DOESNT BRAG ABOUT HOW SHE GOT INTO COLUMBIA.

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THEN, STATE THE AGENDA FOR THE MEETING

• FIRST, GWYNETH WILL DISCUSS THE
  SITUATION ANALYSISJUST WHY IT IS
  YOU CALLED US IN TO MAKE THE
  PRESENTATION. THEN, TOM WILL TALK
  ABOUT OUR NEW MARKETING IDEAS. BY THE WAY, IF HE
  STARTS LOOKING IN THE MIRROR, PLEASE DONT MIND,
  HE HAS A CONDITION. ANNABETH WILL THEN DISCUSS
  MEDIA IDEAS THATS WHEN SHES NOT DUMPING ON
  HER FORMER BOYFRIEND.

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GO THROUGH YOUR PRESENTATION

• EITHER YOU, THE HOST, WILL SERVE AS A BRIDGE
  BETWEEN SPEAKERS, OR HAVE THE SPEAKERS INTRODUCE
  THE NEXT SPEAKER.

HE-E-E-E-R-E-E-S J-O-H-N-N-Y!!
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AFTER YOU OR YOUR GROUP HAS DELIVERED YOUR
PRESENTATION

• THE HOST OR MODERATOR SUMS UP WHAT WAS DISCUSSED.

FIRST, ANNE MARIE DISCUSSED THE NEW
SLOGAN, CHARLES TALKED ABOUT THE CREATIVE,
HENRY DISCUSSED THE PROBLEMS HES HAVING WITH
HIS MOTHER, HEATHER REVEALED THAT HER HUSBAND
HAS INTIMACY ISSUES, AND TED DISCUSSED MARKET
RESEARCH
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IF YOU HAVE HAND-OUTS OR LEAVE BEHINDS, HAND THEM
OUT NOW

• DOING IT EARLIER MAY BE A DISTRACTION.

UHEARTH TO CLIENT. COULD YOU PUT DOWN THE G_D
DAMN REPORT? IM TRYING TO MAKE A POINT HERE.
BOY, I CANT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I HATE THAT SH_T!
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AT THIS TIME, ASK YOUR AUDIENCE IF THEY HAVE ANY
QUESTIONS

• DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?
• I HEARD BRITNEY SPEARS SHAVED HER EYE BROWS. IS
  THAT TRUE?

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THEN, THANK THE CLIENT FOR ALLOWING YOU TO MAKE
THE PRESENTATION

• COOL MAN. LIKE ITS BEEN GROOVY LETTIN MY
  DUDES AND ME CRASH YOUR SPACE AND DISH OUT SOME
  REALLY CRAZY SH_T TO YOU CATS. LIKE, WOW, IS
  THAT REALLY A MARBLE DESK?

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THEN, DONT BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR THE JOB

• JACK AND MARY. WE REALLY WANT THIS JOB. IM
  READY TO MAKE YOU AN OFFER YOU CANT REFUSE. DID
  I TELL YOU MY NEPHEW IS TONY SOPRANO. SO, IM
  ASKING AGAINWILL YOU GIVE US THE ACCOUNT?

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THEN, SHAKE HANDSAND, LEAVE

• WE ARE SO OUT OF HERE.
• FIRST ONE TO THE BARS A ROTTEN EGG.
• LAST ONE BUYS.

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FINAL THOUGHTS

• ONE DAY AFTER THE PRESENTATION, SEND A THANK YOU
  E-MAIL.
• WE REALLY ENJOYED MEETING WITH YOUR CREATIVE
  TEAM YESTERDAY, AND IF YOU NEED ANY MORE DATA,
  PLEASE DONT
  HESITATE TO CALL.
  BY THE WAY, I TOOK THE
  LIBERTY OF BUYING YOU
  A BRAND NEW MERCEDES.

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THE END

• NEXT WEEK
• ROI
• NOT THE FRENCH WORD FOR KING, BUT
• RETURN ON INVESTMENT