FAMILY INSTITUTION

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(In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the
Most Merciful)
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FAMILY INSTITUTION
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• INTRODUCTION

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The Path of Human Life
Time
Ruuh
Rahim
Wujud
Barzakh
Baath
Mahsyar
Mizaan
Sirat
Naar
Jannah
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HUMAN RESPONSIBILITY
IBADAH Worship Allah Good deeds (Doing Good
things) Avoid bad things
KHALIFAH Personal Development Spouse
Development Parental Development Community
Development Society Development
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• What is a family?

Kids
Kids
Mother
Father
Kids
Kids
Family is a specific structure that ones related
to another due to blood relation or marriage.
Kids
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The formation of Islamic Society in Islamic
Civilization
Family
Community
Pembesar
Raja
Family
Hamba
Ahli
Isteri
Rahib
Community
Family
Keluarga
Panglima
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1. The phases of pre marriage
Personal Preparation (Keinginan)
Marriage (Perkahwinan)
Identifying (Merisik)
Engagement (Pertunangan)
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2. The phases of marriage
Understanding Love Berkenalan Berkasihan
Bermesra
Survive in living Hidup bersama-sama
Conflict Resolution Menyelesaikan konflik
Parental / Social Development Pembentukan
anak-anak / sosial
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What is a marriage?

• Marriage (nikah) is a solemn and sacred social
  contract between bride and groom.
• - Perkahwinan (nikah) adalah kontrak sosial yang
  penting dan suci antara lelaki dan perempuan
  bukan muhrim
• - Aqad yang menghalalkan persetubuhan di antara
  lelaki dan perempuan yang tiada hubungan mahram

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Philosophy of Marriage

• 1. To ensure preservation of the human species
  and continuation of the human race"O mankind!
  Be careful of your duty to your Lord, Who created
  you from a single soul and from it created its
  mate and from them has spread abroad a multitude
  of men and women" (Quran 41)

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• To provide spiritual and legal foundation of the
  family"And of His signs is this He created for
  you mates from yourself that you might find rest
  in them, and He ordained between you love and
  mercy. Lo, therein indeed are portents for folk
  who reflect". (Quran 3021)
• Marriage provides spiritual, physical, emotional
  and psychological companionship. This
  companionship generates and sustains love,
  kindness, compassion, mutual confidence, solace
  and support. It lays a spiritual and legal
  foundation for raising a family.

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• Marriage A Religious Requirement"Marry those
  among you who are single and (marry) your slaves,
  male and female, that are righteous" (Quran
  2432)Prophet Muhammad (S) declaredWhen the
  servant of Allah marries, he has fulfilled half
  the (responsibilities laid on him by the) faith
  so let him be God conscious with respect to the
  other half". (Mishkat)
• 4. Islam prohibits adultery and encourages
  marriage,
• as Prophet Muhammad (S) recommended"Whoever
  is able to marry, should marry". (Bukhari)

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Wisdom behind marriage

• Uphold the word of the Creator marriage is
  considered His order and also act of worship
• Development of civilization
• Strengthen brotherhood among man
• Inculcate the spirit of responsibility
• Secure human dignity
• Survival of mankind
• Fulfilling sexual desire

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Selecting Marriage Partner

• Prophet Muhammad (S) recommended Muslims to
  select those partners who are best in religion
  (din) and character."A woman may married for
  four reasons for her property, for her rank, for
  her beauty, and for her religion (and character).
  So marry the one who is best in the religion and
  character and prosper". (Bukhari and Muslim)

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• Normally the criteria for selecting matrimonial
  mates are many wealth, beauty, rank, character,
  congeniality, compatibility, religion, etc.
• The Quran enjoins Muslims to select partners who
  are good and pure

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Marriage in Jurisprudence

• Marriage is allowed (Mubah) in normal situation.
• Marriage is strongly recommended (Mandub), when a
  person can afford it (for men).
• Marriage is obligatory (Fardh),
• if a person fears he/she will commit
  unlawful acts (i.e. adultery, fornication or
  unable to lower his/her gaze) and he can afford
  marriage (for men).

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• Marriage is reprehensible (Makruh) when
• - a man is unable to fulfill some of his main
  duties toward his wife.
• - does not have a strong desire for
  intercourse.
• - there is a great possibility that they
  cannot fulfill their duties toward Allah.
• - there is a great possibility that the
  children will not be raised as good Muslims.

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• Marriage can be forbidden (Haram)
• if the person knows with certainty that
  he/she will not be able to fulfill his/her
  biological or physical obligations
• or when the man cannot fulfill his financial
  duties toward marriage
• It is also prohibited when the woman is
  prohibited to the man for any reason

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Marriage

• Bride
• Groom
• Two adult and sane witnesses
• Wali
• Akad (Offer and Acceptance)

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Husband Roles

• Mahr
• is the right of the wife on her husband. It
  must be paid in accordance with the agreement in
  the marriage contract.
• Living and Household Expenses
• The wife has the right to be provided all
  her living needs, including housing, clothing,
  food, etc. The husband is required to provide his
  wife and children with all of their needs.
  Household spending should be in accordance with
  the financial capacity of the husband.
• Sabda Rasulullah s.a.w yang bermaksud
  Sesungguhnya sekali membeli pakaian anak isteri
  yang menyukakan hati mereka, maka suami akan
  mendapat pahala selama 70 tahun.

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• 3. Kindness and Good Treatment
• The wife has the right of kindness and good
  treatment from her husband.
• A'ishah and Ibn Abbas reported that the
  Prophet (s.a.w.) said The best among you is that
  who is best to his family (wife), and I am the
  best of you to my family. (Ibn Majah and Ibn
  Habban).
• 4. Protection
• The husband must provide protection to his
  wife against anyone who threatens her chastity,
  humiliates her, or seeks to defame her.

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• 5. Providing Sexual Satisfaction
• The husband should make sure that he satisfies
  his wife's needs by having intercourse with her
  at intervals which suit her.

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Wife Obligation

• "If a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts
  her month (i.e. Ramadan), guards her private
  parts, and obeys her husband, it will be said to
  her, Enter Paradise through whichever of the
  gates of Paradise you wish." (Sahih Al-Bukhari)

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• Devotion and Obedience to Allah (SWT)
• Obedience to Her Husband
• Guards and Preserves Herself and Her Honor, in
  the Absence of Her Husband
• Serving Her Husband.
• Keeping the Husband's Secrets.
• She Should Appear Before the Husband in the Best
  Appearance

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• She Should Not Spend Any of His Wealth or Her
  Wealth Except With His Permission
• She Should Not Permit Anyone to Enter Her
  Husband's House Except With His Permission
• Striving to Please the Husband by Every Possible
  Means
• Being Thankful to the Husband for the good he
  does and for his good treatment to his wife.

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Parents Roles

• Make azan and iqamah after the child is born
• Tahnik, aqiqah and give a good name
• Love them
• Educate them
• Provide all the needs (clothes, food etc)

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Childrens Roles

• Love their parents
• Respect their parents
• Obey them
• Take care of them when they old

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• Begitu juga seperti kata Ibnu Mas'ud r.a, saya
  telah bertanya kepada Rasulullah s.a.w., apakah
  amalan yang paling disukai ALLAH, maka jawab
  Rasulullah s.a.w., sembahyang pada waktunya,
  kemudian apa? Baginda Rasulullah menjawab,
  berbuat baik kepada ibu bapa. Saya bertanya,
  kemudian apa? Baginda menjawab berjuang
  fisabilillah.

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Something serious to think

• My intention should be, I am looking for someone
  with whom I will build a family.
• Marriage is a commitment and relationship that
  starts in this world and will continue Insya
  Allah in Paradise together.
• How should I prepare myself.

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• Thank You

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• 5. Keeping the Husband's Secrets.
• Particularly what occurs between him and her
  in private - with regard to sexual matters.
  Disclosing the husbands secrets will hurt him and
  anger him and this contradicts obedience to him
  and seeking to please him.

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• 6. She Should Appear Before the Husband in the
  Best Appearance
• Abu Hurairah (RA), narrates the Messenger Of
  Allah (SAW) was asked,
• "Which of the women is the best?"
• He replied, "The one who gives him (the husband)
  pleasure when he looks (at her outer beauty, or
  the inner beauty of her good character and how
  she devotes herself to obedience to Allah and
  taqwa) obeys him when he orders and does not go
  against his wishes with regard to herself or her
  wealth by doing that which he dislikes."
• (Sahih Muslim, reported by an-Nasaaee, al-Haakim
  and Ahmad)

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• 10. Being Thankful to the Husband for the good he
  does and for his good treatment to his wife.
• From Ibn Abbass (RA), who said that the Prophet
  (SAW) said,
• "I was shown the Fire and found that the majority
  of its inhabitants were women, due to
  ingratitude. It was said "Is it that they
  disbelieve in Allah?" He said They are
  ungrateful to their husbands and deny the good
  they do. If you were to treat one of them well
  always, and she then saw something (displeasing)
  from you she would say   I have never seen any
  good from you." (Reported by
  Al-Bukhari)

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Tanggungjawab Bersama

• menjaga adab kesopanan dalam pergaulan sama ada
  perkataan atau perbuatan
• saling hormat menghormati, cinta dan kasih sayang
  kerana Allah s.w.t.
• menghargai pasangan
• berlaku adil dalam perkataan dan perbuatan
• berkomunikasi denga cara yang baik
• berlapang dada, menerima teguran, lemah lembut
  dan pemaaf
• bersederhana dalam semua keadaan
• menjauhi maksiat

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• Firman Allah di dalam al-Quran surah Isra' ayat
  23 - 24 bermaksudDan Tuhanmu telah
  memerintahkan supaya kamu jangan menyembah selain
  Dia.Dan agar kamu berbuat baik terhadap kedua
  ibu bapa kamu dengan sebaik-baiknya.Jika salah
  seorang daripadanya sampai umur lanjut dalam
  pemeliharaanmu,janganlah sekali-kali kamu
  mengatakan kepada ke-dua-duanya perkataan 'Ah!'
  danjanganlah kamu membentak mereka dan
  ucapkanlah kepada mereka dengan penuhkasih
  sayang dan ucapkanlah, Wahai Tuhanku!,
  kasihanilah mereka berduasebagaimana mereka
  berdua telah mendidik aku sejak aku kecil lagi.

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Pendidikan Sosial

• menanam usul-usul kerohanian yang mulia
• memelihara hak orang lain
• melazimkan diri dengan adab sopan
• menjaga diri dan masyarakat