The Truth About Eels

1
The Truth About Eels

• Mike Dickison
• Duke University

2
Where are Eels Found?

• Iceland
• Equatorial Guinea
• San Marino

• Unconfirmed reports from other areas

Population entirely eels
3
What do Eels Eat?

• Twinkies
• Small crustaceans
• Daube provençale
• Mostly Twinkies, though

Majority shareholders in Hostess Inc.
4
People who are Actually Eels

• Dick Cheney

• Beck (wears wig)

• Sammy Sosa

• How to detect? Only eat twinkies.

5
The Incredible Story of
Eel Reproduction
1.
Female eels travel vast distances to spawn in
the Sargasso Sea.
6
The Incredible Story of
Eel Reproduction
2.
Male eels ship sperm via FedEx to Boise, where
it fills Twinkies, airdropped in sea.
7
Amazing Eel Facts

• Ben Franklin was an eel and thus reluctant to
  sign the Declaration of Independence.
  
• Eels can clumsily fly short distances, but not
  when anyone is watching.
  
• Strange beeping noises that interrupt cell phone
  calls are eels singing to each other.
  
• Eels solved Fermats Last Theorem in 1922, but
  were too shy to tell anyone.
  
• Scarcely any eels enjoyed Dances with Wolves.

8
Eels Our Slimy Friends
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