Building an LGBT Family If These Walls Could Talk II 2000

1
Building an LGBT FamilyIf These Walls Could
Talk II2000

• Brought to you by
• the American Medical Student Associations
• Committee on Gender and Sexuality

2
Stereotypes

• What stereotypes of were portrayed in the film?
• All lesbians are like Ellen
• Lesbians have children, but Gay couples do not

3
Barriers to LGBT Families

• How would their experience in this process been
  different if they were straight?
• What challenges do same-sex couples face? (even
  before building a family)
• Family/social support is often absent
• Social stigma (Homophobia)
• No legal recognition of committed relationships

4
Barriers to LGBT Families

• What challenges (social and legal) do same-sex
  couples face when having children?
• Family/social support of gay parenting
• Most states do not allow gay couples to adopt
  children
• Legal recognition of second parent rights
• Health insurance coverage for partner and
  non-biological children

5
Building an LGBT Family

• What options are available for same-sex couples
  today?
• Biological Children
• Adopted Children
• Not having Children

6
Barriers to Biological ChildrenWhere to get the
egg or sperm?

• Sperm Donation by close friend or co-parenting
  with another gay couple can result in legal and
  social complications
• How much do alternative sources cost?
• 18,000 for a surrogate mother (gay couples)
• 1000 for a sperm bank (lesbian couples)
• What are the legal rights of the non-biological
  parent?
• Limited unless child is adopted by second parent
• Second parent adoption is difficult to obtain and
  is legal only on a county by county basis

7
Fitness of Same-Sex ParentsArent gay homes
unstable?

• Both the AAP and the APA support same-sex
  parenting and their children
• American Psychological Association (APA)
• American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)
• Due to considerable body of professional
  literature, the AAP urges physicians to support
  legislative and legal efforts to provide adoption
  right to both parents in a same-sex relationship

8
Fitness of Same-Sex Parents Can same-sex
couples be parents?

• Empirical evidence demonstrates no difference
  between
• Gay fathers have been described to adhere to
  stricter disciplinary guidelines, to place
  greater emphasis on guidance, and development of
  cognitive skills, more involved in their
  childrens activities
• Lesbian mothers

9
Personal Development of ChildrenHow children
develop in a non-traditional home?

• Questions
• Will the children develop proper gender roles
  without living in a traditional household?
  (parents man women)
• Men cannot replace a real mother (despite
  stereotypes)
• Children find role models in every environment in
  which they are involved
• Most LGBT parents ensure their children have
  consistent positive contact with role models of
  the opposite sex (ex. Teachers, Coaches, Aunts,
  Uncles)

10
Social Relationships of ChildrenWill the
children be teased?

• Children are teased for almost ANY reason
• Whether they adapt well to being teased is not
  based on what they are teased for
• Children with a safe and supportive home will be
  resiliant no matter what they are teased for

11
How Physicians Can Help

• What can physicians do to help same-sex couples
  who want a family?
• Be knowledgeable and considerate of the
  possibility that your patient may want to build a
  family, despite being in a same-sex relationship
• Support legislature that provides legal
  recognition of same-sex couples and adoption
• Be aware of unique health concerns of LGBT
  patients
• Recognize BOTH parents as real mothers/fathers
• Recognize Domestic Partners by being inclusive in
  documents and forms
• Have inclusive Childrens Books in waiting rooms
  (Tommy has two Mommys, Daddys Roommate)