GenderHealthy Children

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Gender-Healthy Children

• Sue Bohlin
• Probe Ministries
• www.probe.org

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Gender Matters!

• Supporting our kids gender results in a healthy
  self-concept
• Important part of preventing homosexuality
  (gender identity confusion)
• Gender differences between boys and girls are
  designed by God

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Celebrate Gender Differences

• Boys get their sense of self from achievement.
  They are wired to be self-reliant. (Greatest
  fear failure)
• Girls get their sense of self from relationships.
  They are wired to be interdependent. (Greatest
  fear abandonment)

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• Boys are linear in their thinking girls are more
  intuitive.
• Boys can focus on one thing at a time girls are
  multi-taskers and enjoy the process.

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• Boys tend to be competitive girls tend to be
  cooperative.
• Boys are action-oriented girls are more verbal.
• Boys hostility is physical girls is verbal.

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• Boys bond shoulder to shoulder
• Girls bond face to face
• Girls tend to be empathetic nurturers.
• Boys tend to be aggressive nurturers.

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Affirm Childrens Gender

• Affirm boys in their masculinity and girls in
  their femininity
• Gender spectrum
• Reassure the primary questions of their hearts
• Do I have what it takes?
• Am I beautiful?

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Affirm Childrens Gender

• You can be a good strong male without playing
  sports.
• You can be a soft, feminine lady and be an
  athlete or strong leader.
• Sensitive, creative types make great husbands,
  pastors, counselors.
• Support the social distinctions of masculinity
  and femininity
• Specify what men/women and boys/girls do that is
  different.

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How Are We Different?

• Mommies have babies, daddies take care of mommies
  and babies.
• Girls cover up their chests, boys dont have to.
• Girls use the girls restroom, boys use the boys
  restroom.
• Girls can wear a dress or skirt boys wear pants.
  
• Men can have beards and shave ladies dont.

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• Girls wear make-up boys dont.
• Girls wear high heels boys dont.
• Girls sit down to use the toilet boys can stand
  up or sit down.
• Girls can carry a purse boys put things in their
  pockets.
• Boys open doors for other people girls say
  thank you.
• In relationships, boys are the initiators
  girls are the responders.

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Celebrating Gender Differences in School

• Male brains and female brains
• 3 parts
• 1. Brain stem instinct, fight/flight
• 2. Limbic system experience emotions
• 3. Upper brain (4 lobes) thinking

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Girls Brains

• LEFT BRAIN verbal skills (speaking, reading,
  writing)
• Mature earlier than boys brains
• Corpus callosum up to 20 larger than boys
  brains more cross-talk between hemispheres
• Better at impulse control than boys

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Boys Brains

• RIGHT BRAIN spatial skills (measuring,
  direction, objects in space)
• Mature later than girls brains later speech and
  reading development
• Fewer neural connections between hemispheres
  brain activity focused in one area at a time
• More developed in right hemisphere better
  spatial abilities measuring, mechanical
  things/design, geography, maps

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Social difference s

• Girls bond first, ask questions later
• Boys be aggressive first, ask questions later
• Girls manage social bonds by alliances
• Boys manage social energy by dominance and
  pecking order

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On the Playground

• Boys physical, rough and vigorous, competitive,
  aggressive
• Girls physically quieter and less active, more
  cooperative
• Boys ignore newcomers till they prove their
  worth and value
• Girls greet newcomers more warmly

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Movement

• Boys Movement enhances learning
• Movement manages and relieves impulsive behavior
• Lower serotonin higher metabolism natural
  fidgeters
• Boys use more space than girls for play and
  learning
• Give boys things to do, and quiet toys to play
  with, while listening and learning

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Honoring Boys

• Let them move around
• Give them something to manipulate
• Give them time to think and to process strong
  emotions (30-second wait time)
• Let them engage in aggression play and expression
  
• Encourage them to open up by not demanding that
  they look at you
• Warn them a few minutes before a transition
• Tell them God likes boys!

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