Refusal Skills Workshop

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Dream On!
Dream On!
Dream On!

• Refusal Skills Workshop

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What are Refusal Skills?

• Communication strategies that help you say No
  effectively.

!
Nooooo
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Resist Pressure

• Simply say No without feeling you need to
  justify yourself.

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Resist Pressure

• Repeat No if necessary. (The Broken Record
  technique)

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Resist Pressure

• Use I messages to avoid placing blame.

Im not doing THAT with you!
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Resist Pressure

• Make up an excuse.

I dont have time right now I have to go.
Not tonight, I have a headache!
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Resist Pressure

• Speak directly to the person and look directly
  into their eyes.
• Provide a clear, organized message that states
  the situation.

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Choose a Communication Style that Works for YOU!
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Styles

• Social or Small Talk
• Control Talk (Light or Heavy)
• Search Talk
• Straight Talk

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When its time to say NO

• Small or
• Social Talk
• No thank you, I dont do drugs.

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When its time to say NO

• Control Talk (Light)
• No, I do not break the law, I do not do drugs.

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When its time to say NO

• Control Talk (Heavy)
• No, I do not do drugs and if you bother me again
  I will call the police.

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When its time to say NO

• Search Talk
• No, I do not want drugs, why do you want drugs?

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When its time to say NO

• Straight Talk
• No, I do not do drugs, and I feel very angry when
  you ask me to do drugs.

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Body Language

• Body Language should match your words.

• Avoid body language that implies you are nervous
  or unsure.

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Suggest an alternative, if possible.
No, Id rather go over to Marys and hang out
with the crowd.
Lets go into my bedroom and watch TV.
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Refuse to Compromise
No, John, I dont feel comfortable going into
your bedroom. I would like to go to Marys now!
Jane, lets just go into the bedroom for a little
while to watch American Idol before we go to
Marys. Pleeease?
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Leave

• If the person persists, leave and go someplace
  where you feel safe.

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Setting Boundaries High Risk
Behaviors

• Avoid heat of the moment decisions.

• Theres safety in numbers!

• Friends look out for each other.

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AVOID

• Parties where there are drugs and alcohol.
• Dating older partners.
• Being alone where no one can help if needed.
• Leaving a party or crowd with a stranger.
• Inviting your date into your bedroom.

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Remember
Stop and think!
Recognize trouble before it starts.
Protect your drink.
Wear your purity ring as a reminder of your
commitment.
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Online Safety

• Keep your identity private.
• Never get together with someone you meet
  online.
• Never respond to E-mail, chat comments, or
  newsgroup messages that are hostile, belligerent,
  inappropriate, or in any way make you feel
  uncomfortable.
• Talk with your parents about their expectations
  and ground rules for going online.
• Trust your instincts.

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Role Play Situations

• Check your Refusal Skills

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Situation 1 Internet Temptations
BaRbIeGiRL04 Hi! Whos their?
SEND
COULD THIS BE YOU??
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BaRbIeGiRL04 Hi! Whos there? SoccerGuy05 hey
this is mark. Do I know you?
BaRbIeGiRL04 Hi! Whos their?
SoccerGuy05 hey this is mark. Do I know
you? BaRbIeGiRL04 You mite. Im a big fan of
yours. SoccerGuy05 a fan? BaRbIeGiRL04
Actually, Im a soccer fan. Good game last nite,
babe. BTW- Im new _at_ skool.
100 AM
SEND
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BaRbIeGiRL04 Hi! Whos there? SoccerGuy05 hey
this is mark. Do I know you?
SoccerGuy05 Really?! Are you the girl from 5th
hour Calculus? BaRbIeGiRL04 Wuts that? Im in
miss smiths spellin class _at_ that
tyme SoccerGuy05 I see. How come I havent seen
you around? BaRbIeGiRL04 u have u just didnt
notice. SoccerGuy05 u got a pic?
100 AM
SEND
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BaRbIeGiRL04 Hi! Whos there? SoccerGuy05 hey
this is mark. Do I know you?
BaRbIeGiRL04 Sur but 4 now, Ill juss show u 2
of my best parts LOADING PHOTO FROM
BaRbIeGiRL04 Download Complete
SoccerGuy05 wow! Id have to be sniffin glue
not to notice that! BaRbIeGiRL04 lol, thanx new
ud like
100 AM
SEND
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BaRbIeGiRL04 Hi! Whos there? SoccerGuy05 hey
this is mark. Do I know you?
SoccerGuy05 Can I ask you a ? BaRbIeGiRL04 u
can ask me NE-thing! SoccerGuy05 y
me? BaRbIeGiRL04 I think u r kute esp. the rear
vue SoccerGuy05 Thanks. You seem nice. Im not
used to girls being so forward. BaRbIeGiRL04 Im
not use 2 guys bein so fine!!
100 AM
SEND
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BaRbIeGiRL04 Hi! Whos there? SoccerGuy05 hey
this is mark. Do I know you?
BaRbIeGiRL04 Wanna meat somewheres? SoccerGuy05
Well, actually Im in BR right now at a
convention. BaRbIeGiRL04 R U 4 real? So am I
!!! Radisson Hotel??? SoccerGuy05 Unbelievable
yea! Me 2. BaRbIeGiRL04 hey, lets hook up in 5.
We can meet in one of those empty meeting rooms
where its nice and quiet our sponsors will
never know.
100 AM
SEND
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BaRbIeGiRL04 Hi! Whos there? SoccerGuy05 hey
this is mark. Do I know you?
SoccerGuy05 Are you sure? Its after
curfew. BaRbIeGiRL04 Oh, Come on dont be such
a chicken! The security guard is off
duty. SoccerGuy05 Well, ok. BaRbIeGiRL04 SIGNED
OFF.
100 AM
SEND
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(No Transcript)
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Gotcha!

• Online people arent always who they seem to be.

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YOUR TURN!
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Situation 1 PHONE CONVERSATION

• Girl is alone at home and invites a boy to come
  over.
• Boy needs to refuse.

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Situation 2 PARTY SCENE

• Boy approaches girl at the carnival and offers
  her alcohol/drugs.
• Girl needs to refuse.

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Situation 3 MALL SCENE

• Two high school girls are hit on by two
  university boys at the mall.
• Boys want to leave mall to go somewhere else.

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Situation 4 CAR SCENE

• Girl and Guy have been dating for a few months.
  Girl begins to pressure boy to take the
  relationship to the next level she feels he owes
  her.
• Boy needs to refuse.

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Dream On!
Dream On!
Dream On!

• Refusal Skills Workshop