Home

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Home Family
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Home Family
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MARRIAGEGen.224Lk.1618 Mk.10 Mt.19
1Cor.739Hebrews 134
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disposable marriage in a disposable
culture

• I think God wants me to be happy
• I thought things would be different
• I need to find myself
• Its not good for the kids to see us unhappy
• Im not in love anymore
• Judges article on divorce remarriage

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Husband

• Gen. 2.18, 24
• leave cleave
• 1 Peter 3.7
• according to knowledge
• what if reversed?
• giving honor
• Col. 3.20
• be not bitter against them
• Eph. 5.25, 28-29
• submission whose responsibility?
• a sacrificial serving leader Eph. 5.25

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Husband

• REMEMBERING YOUR VOWS
• love and cherish Eph.5.28-29
• honor 1Ptr.3.7
• to her and her alone Job.31.1 Pr.5 Mt.5.28
• Eph. 5.28 Husbands, love your wives, even
  as Christ also loved the church and gave himself
  up for her Even so ought husbands
  to love their own wives as their own
  bodies. He that loveth his own wife loveth
  himself

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Husband Wife

• 1Cor.7.
• defraud not one another
• husband...
• wife...
• one flesh / Gods plan fund. beneficial
• considerate (1 Cor.7 Mt. 7.12 Php.2 )
• secure (Pr.31 / Pr.5-7)
• impassioned (Prov.5)
• loving (Eph.5/ Titus 2)

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Wife

• Eph. 5.22-24
• submission, as unto the Lord
• 1Ptr. 3.1-6
• chaste and respectful behavior v.2
• gentle and quiet spirit v.4
• example of Sarah
  v.5-6
• Titus 2.3-5
• older women teach the younger women
  to love their husbands, to love their
  children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home,
  kind, being subject to their own husbands

Gen.3.16-19 Prov.31 1Tim.5.14 Titus 2.5
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Wife

• 1Tim. 5.
• rule the household asv
• Proverbs 31.10-31
• an excellent wife, her worth is far above rubies
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• the heart of her husband trusts in her
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• she does him good and not evil
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• she stretches out her hands to the needy
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• she looks well to the ways of her household
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• strength and dignity are her clothing
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• law of kindness is on her tongue
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frustration tension
effectiveness
Prov. 219 19
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• when momma aint happy, aint
  nobody happy
• hint to husbands...

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• a
• thermometer
• or a
• thermostat ?

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Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth,
but such as is good for edifying as the need may
be, that it may give grace to them that
hear.Eph.429 asv
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Home Family
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Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth,
but such as is good for edifying as the need may
be, that it may give grace to them that
hear.Eph.429 asv

• Ninguna palabra corrompida salga de vuestra
  boca, sino la que sea buena para la necesaria
  edificación, a fin de dar gracia a los oyentes.
  Efes.429 rvr1960

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MARRIAGEGen.224Lk.1618 Mk.10 Mt.19
1Cor.739Hebrews 134
Prov. 1822
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marital pitfalls / direction

• Competing instead of completing
• Gen.2 help meet
• canoe
• Gen.2.24 / 1Cor.12 illustr.
• Drifting apart / 1..1s instead of 1
• Amos 3.3
• Eph.5 / Titus 2
• Going 50/50
• cf. Lk.12.15 1Cor.12-14 Gen.37.3-4
• Matt.5 go two

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marital pitfalls / neglect

• Neglecting honor respect
• Eph. 5 / 1 Ptr. 3
• Neglecting romance intimacy
• Gen. 2.24 1 Cor. 7 Prov. 5
• Neglecting vows
• Neglecting God in the home
• Luke 14.26-27
• Psalm 127.1
• Deut.6.5-9
• Matt. 7.24-27

Psalm 101.3
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marital pitfalls / a f

• Failing to apologize
• Luke 17.3
• Luke 15.21
• Failing to forgive
• Mt. 6.12-15
• Mt. 5.7
• Eph.4.32
• Lk.17.3-4
• Mt.18.21-35

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marital pitfalls / comm.

• Lack of communication
• 1 Ptr. 3.7 according to knowledge
• Prov.18.13 answers w/o hearing...
• Prov. 15.22 advantage of counsel
• cf. Prov. 31.28-29 compliments
• cf. Luke 17.3 correction/ apology
• Destructive communication
• Prov. 12.18 jabbing / buttons
• Prov. 15.1 grievous words
• Prov. 21.9,19 better to dwell
• Prov. 30.33 cf. twisting the nose

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behold, we put bits in the horses mouths, that
they may obey us and we turn about their whole
body also even so the tongue is a little
member Jas.33,5
PROVERBS 1821
He aquí nosotros ponemos freno en la boca de los
caballos para que nos obedezcan, y dirigimos así
todo su cuerpo... Así también la lengua es un
miembro pequeño Santiago 33,5
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speaking with kindness
Prov. 3126

• Eph. 4.15 speaking the truth in love
  la verdad en amor
• Prov.2515 a soft tongue breaks the bone
  Y la lengua blanda quebranta los huesos
• Prov.151 A soft answer turneth
  away wrath but grievous words stir up
  anger
• La blanda respuesta quita la ira Mas la
  palabra áspera hace subir el furor

Mt. 712
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thinking before we speak

• Jas. 119
  swift to hear, slow to speak
  Santiago 119
  pronto para oír, tardo
  para hablar
• Prov. 133
• Prov. 1528
• Prov. 1727-28
• Prov. 1813
• Prov. 2920

I shouldnt have said that I should have
listened first I wish Id kept my mouth
closed I should have thought.
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specific areas
a.)sorry apologies vs. being sorryb.) jabbing
vs. edifying c.) insults vs.
requests
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apologies, apologias
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apologies

• the minimizing apology
• the accusation apology
• the hypothetical apology
• the Im sorry, but apology
• the angry apology

Perhaps I did make a mistake
Maybe my reaction wasnt the best
Well, no ones perfect after all
i.o.w. SO MAYBE I WASNT QUITE PERFECT
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apologies

• the minimizing apology
• the accusation apology
• the hypothetical apology
• the Im sorry, but apology
• the angry apology

Im sorry you got so upset over that.
Im sorry you were so bothered by that.
Im sorry you took it the wrong way.
i.o.w. HERES YOUR APOLOGY SORRY YOU
MESSED UP, BUT ITS YOUR FAULT
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apologies

• the minimizing apology
• the accusation apology
• the hypothetical apology
• the Im sorry, but apology
• the angry apology

If I may have made a mistake
If I did anything that appeared to be wrong...
i.o.w. IM ADMITTING NOTHING (and likely did
nothing). BUT SUPPOSING EVEN IF I DID, LETS
CONSIDER IT APOLOGIZED FOR
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apologies

• the minimizing apology
• the accusation apology
• the hypothetical apology
• the Im sorry, but apology
• the angry apology

Well Im sorry, BUT IF YOU HADNT
Im sorry, BUT YOU WERE THE ONE
Im sorry, BUT I ONLY REACTED THAT WAY BECAUSE
YOU
i.o.w. OK, theres
your apology. NOW TO THE REAL PROBLEM YOU.
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apologies

• the minimizing apology
• the accusation apology
• the hypothetical apology
• the Im sorry, but apology
• the angry apology

So Im sorry, OK??
Fine. Im sorry then. Are you satisfied?
Hey, I already said I was sorry!
i.o.w. ok- I said the words. Now get off my
back!
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apologies

• the minimizing apology
• the accusation apology
• the hypothetical apology
• the Im sorry, but apology
• the angry apology

Cf. the apology of the prodigal son Lk.1521
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throwing jabs

• My mistake. I should have learned by now not to
  expect too much.
• I shouldnt blame you. You get it honestly
  enough from your Dad/Mom/brother/sister.
• I should have listened to my mother when she
  warned me about you.
• Do you think you could possibly do something for
  someone else for a change?

If you want to offer a compliment, offer a
compliment. If you want to say its OK, say its
OK. If you need to offer constructive criticism
offer constructive help in a helpful way.
But stop. Think. Check your motive. Be
considerate. Be helpful. Eph.429 / Gal.
6.1 / 1 Th. 5.14
Prov.1218 nasb There is one who speaks rashly
like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of
the wise brings healing.
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expressing preferences

• Tuna again? Why cant we ever have something
  good like spaghetti meatballs?
• Im so tired of seeing you in that old jumper.
  Why dont you wear something different?
• What did you spend on these groceries? Do you
  think money grows on trees?

You know what Id love to have sometime soon?
Some of your spaghetti and meatballs. I really
like the way you fix it.
We havent been shopping for you in a while.
Would you like to go to town soon and get a new
outfit?
This months really tight, lets figure out some
ways to save on groc. gas this month.
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expressing preferences
OK kids Who all would like to pick up their
things right now? And who would rather get in
trouble first, and still have to pick up their
things afterwards? Id recommend the first
option, but its your choice. Starting now )!

• Why do you kids have to be such pigs? Cant you
  ever pick up after yourselves?

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Home Family
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PARENTS

• Proverbs 22.6
  Train up a child in the way he
  should go, Even when he is old, he will not
  depart from it
• or Judith Harris? Do Parents really matter?
• time illustrations
• a garden
• cat, bird Deut. 6.7 Eph.6.4

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PARENTS

• early training No
• importance of no cf. Gen.2 Exod. 20
• respect and compliance for prohibitory no
• zero tolerance for defiant no
• if you dont mean it, dont say it, and if you do
  mean it, enforce it
• important foundation for later training