Living the Jesus way

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Living the Jesus way

• Building Shining Relationships
• Ephesians 51 69

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An abundance of wise counsel on relationships
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But were still hungry for more
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Or do we not have much wise counsel? Are we all
struggling?
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Relationships

• We all want healthy relationships.
• Who doesnt?
• And arent unhealthy relationships one of the
  most tiring and draining things to cope with?

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Life all about relationships

• Marriage, parents, leaving your parents,
  family, work, friends
• Dunbars number 150
• Human brains are wired to handle approximately
  150 social relationships.
• Hunter-gatherer societies had an average of 148.4
  persons in their villages.
• The Hutterites, a religious community, have a
  policy of starting a new colony when they
  approach the 150 mark.
• Gore Associates, makers of Gore-Tex, keeps their
  manufacturing plants under 150 people because
  they found this size keeps people in touch with
  each other.

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Life all about relationships
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Building shining relationships

• Building shining relationships.
• Not finding them, or finding The One.
• Bringing health to a less than ideal
  relationship.
• Bringing even more health to a good one.
• Different relationships
• marriage, parents, leaving your parents, family,
  work

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Ephesians 51 69 (NIV)

• 1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved
  children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ
  loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant
  offering and sacrifice to God.
• 3But among you there must not be even a hint of
  sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or
  of greed, because these are improper for God's
  holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity,
  foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of
  place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you
  can be sure No immoral, impure or greedy
  personsuch a man is an idolaterhas any
  inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 

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6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for
because of such things God's wrath comes on those
who are disobedient. 7Therefore do not be
partners with them. 8For you were once darkness,
but now you are light in the Lord. Live as
children of light 9(for the fruit of the light
consists in all goodness, righteousness and
truth) 10and find out what pleases the
Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless
deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.  12For
it is shameful even to mention what the
disobedient do in secret. 13But everything
exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is
light that makes everything visible. This is why
it is said "Wake up, O sleeper,        rise
from the dead,      and Christ will shine on
you."
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15Be very careful, then, how you livenot as
unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every
opportunity, because the days are
evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but
understand what the Lord's will is. 18Do not get
drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery.
Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19Speak to
one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual
songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the
Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father
for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus
Christ.
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Helpful aside at Ephesians 5 21
NIV 21Submit to one another out of reverence for
Christ. Wives and Husbands  22Wives, submit to
your husbands as to the Lord.
TNIV Instructions for Christian
Households 21 Submit to one another out of
reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves
to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 
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Instructions for Christian Households 21Submit to
one another out of reverence for
Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own
husbands as you do to the Lord. 23For the husband
is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of
the church, his body, of which he is the
Saviour.  24Now as the church submits to Christ,
so also wives should submit to their husbands in
everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as
Christ loved the church and gave himself up for
her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the
washing with water through the word, 27and to
present her to himself as a radiant church,
without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish,
but holy and blameless. 
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28In this same way, husbands ought to love their
wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife
loves himself. 29After all, people have never
hated their own bodies, but they feed and care
for them, just as Christ does the church30for we
are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a
man will leave his father and mother and be
united to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh." 32 This is a profound mysterybut I am
talking about Christ and the church. 33However,
each one of you also must love his wife as he
loves himself, and the wife must respect her
husband.
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Ephesians 6 1 9 (TNIV) 1Children, obey your
parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honour
your father and mother"which is the first
commandment with a promise 3"so that it may go
well with you and that you may enjoy long life on
the earth."  4Fathers, do not exasperate your
children instead, bring them up in the training
and instruction of the Lord.     
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5Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect
and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as
you would obey Christ. 6Obey them not only to win
their favour when their eye is on you, but as
slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your
heart. 7Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were
serving the Lord, not people, 8because you know
that the Lord will reward each one of you for
whatever good you do, whether you are slave or
free.     9And masters, treat your slaves in the
same way. Do not threaten them, since you know
that he who is both their Master and yours is in
heaven, and there is no favouritism with him.     
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Living the Jesus Way

• Do our relationships look different?
• Are we being distinctive?
• One relationship out of the 150 Jesus

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Relationships

• Do our relationships look different?
• They should
• Light / dark analogy (v8)
• Fruit of the light (v9)
• Goodness
• Righteousness
• Truth
• Access to Jesus
• Power to build good relationships

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Things to avoid

• Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of
  darkness (v11)
• Some people are a bad influence
• Be careful Be wise (v15)

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Ultimate source of relational health

• Jesus
• Be imitators of God (v1)
• Live a life of love (v2)
• Words
• Actions
• Be for people  

1 Corinthians 13 4 7 (The Message) Love cares
more for others than for self. Love doesn't want
what it doesn't have. Love doesn't
strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't
force itself on others, Isn't always "me
first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't
keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel
when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the
flowering of truth, Puts up with
anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for
the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to
the end.
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Ultimate source of relational health

• Sacrificial living (v2)
• Prefer others
• Submit to one another
• Speak with psalms and hymns (v19)
• Share the joy of Jesus overtly
• Good news stories

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Shining Relationships

• Marriage
• Children and Parents
• Slaves and Masters
• Verse 21
• Submit to one anotherout of reverence for Christ

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Submit

• Jesus life characterised by servanthood.
• Servant leader.
• He emptied himself and took on the nature of a
  servant.
• Matthew 2028
• the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to
  serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many
• A willingness to serve and submit
• Philippians 2 2 4
• 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded,
  having the same love, being one in spirit and of
  one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or
  vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others
  above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own
  interests but each of you to the interests of the
  others.

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Marriage

• Wives submit to your husbands
• Only recently contentious
• I certainly found it a tricky concept

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Wives submit to your husbands

• Not the same as lesser value
• Jesus said
• I love the Father and do exactly what my Father
  has commanded me (John 1431)
• I and the Father are one (John 1030)
• Jesus submitted for the sake of unity and because
  He loved Him.
• Jesus is still fully God in a submitted
  relationship
• So wives are not of any lesser value

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Wives submit to your husbands

• Not the same as a submission of women as a class
  to men.
• The Bible nowhere teaches that women are to
  submit to non-biblical demands from their
  husbands.
• Women are to reject unnatural and abusive demands
  and other forms of verbal and physical
  mistreatment.
• Separation may be a necessity for a while, if not
  permanently
• Wives have a responsibility to protect children
  from abusive fathers

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Wives submit to your husbands

• Submission does mean a wife is a willing, loving,
  and respectful giver of her heart to her husband.
• Peter even says that wherever possible this
  should be true for Christian wives of
  non-Christian husbands (1 Peter 3 1- 7)
• Look at Proverbs 3110 for a great description of
  a wife noble character, successful and
  aggressive business woman, works hard, reaches
  out to the poor, supports her husband, speaks
  with wisdom a full partner in advancing the
  kingdom of God.

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Husbands, love your wives

• Husbands are exhorted to love their wives.
• Love with sacrificial love.
• Christs love for the church is the example held
  up
• Husbands must first submit to Jesus in all
  things.
• Active cultivation of spiritual disciples
  prayer, studying the Bible, worship.
• Full of faith, hope courage to obey Gods word,
  gracious and willing to submit to spiritual
  leaders.

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Husbands, love your wives

• Jesus love for the church
• Christ died for the church to save it. A husband
  should die to personal needs and desired for the
  good of the wife.
• Christ makes the church holy. A husband should be
  willing to do whatever he has to for his wife to
  become a strong woman of God.

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Husbands, love your wives

• Jesus love for the church
• Christ loves the Church as Himself. A husband
  should think of his wife as part of himself to
  be one. Cultivation of an intimate relationship
  with their wives.
• Christ gives the Church direction and guidance. A
  husband should be a leader, be willing to take on
  responsibility for his wife and their life
  together, including children. Setting direction
  and making decisions.

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Children and Parents

• Comes after the husbands and wives bit love in
  that relationship is a sure foundation for
  parenthood.
• Environment of unconditional love, security,
  acceptance.
• Children gain security, confidence and
  understanding of Gods love from their parents.

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Children and Parents

• Specific skills
• Children obey your parents in the Lord (v6)
• Honour your father and mother (v2)
• Fathers, do not exasperate your children (v4)
• Bring them up in the training and instruction of
  the Lord (v4)

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Slaves and Masters (work)

• Christians like Wilberforce in the 1800s
  abolished slavery (see Amazing Grace)
• Closest we have now in employment.
• Obey your earthly masters (v5) be Christian
  where you are, do not rebel.
• The great message of Christianity to everyone is
  that it is in the place time God has placed us
  that we must live out the Christian life.
• If circumstances are difficult the challenge is
  greater. Christianity does not offer an escape
  from circumstances rather a way to conquer them.

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Slaves and Masters (work)

• Work must be done well (v7) with the awareness
  of Gods eyes on us.
• Conditions, rewards, oversight, and punishment
  all contribute to better work, but the secret of
  good work is to do it for God.
• Masters remember you are still servants of God,
  still working in the sight of God

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• Submit to one anotherout of reverence for Christ