RULES

1
RULES EXPECTATIONS FOR CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS
2
THE NATURE OF RELATIONSHIP RULES/EXPECTATIONS

• CULTURAL AND PERSONAL EXPECTATIONS
• Assist With Predictability
• Set Standards To Be Negotiated
• COME FROM MEDIA, FAMILY, FRIENDS, PARTNER, GROUP
  MEMBERSHIP STANDARDS, ETC.

3
GUESS THE

• USE 32 30 26 12
• IN 1998, AMERICAN HOUSEHOLDS CONSISTED OF
• Not Married With Children _________
• Not Married Without Children _______
• Married With Children _____________
• Married Without Children __________

4
COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT COMMUNICATION IN
CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS

• WE WILL COMMUNICATE CONSISTENTLY
• RELATIONSHIPS TAKE LESS EFFORT ONCE CLOSENESS IS
  ESTABLISHED
• PROBLEMS WILL ARISE, BUT WE WILL SOLVE THEM AND
  MOVE ON
• COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS CAN BE TRACED TO ONE
  PARTNER OR THE OTHER

5
UNIVERSAL RELATIONSHIP RULES

• RESPECT THE OTHERS PRIVACY
• LOOK THE OTHER PERSON IN THE EYE DURING
  CONVERSATION
• DONT DISCUSS THAT WHICH IS SAID IN CONFIDENCE
  WITH ANOTHER PERSON

6
RULES/EXPECTATIONS FOR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

• SHORT TERM
• APPEARANCE
• SOCIAL INTEGRATION
• FREEDOM
• LONG TERM
• RELAXATION
• EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT
• AFFECTION DEMONSTRATION
• RELIABILITY
• PHYSICAL INTIMACY

7
RULES/EXPECTATIONS MOST COMMONLY VIOLATED IN
ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

• RESPECT
• ENJOYMENT
• TWOSOME
• OTHER DIRECTED
• PRESENCE

8
RULES/EXPECTATIONS FOR FRIENDSHIPS

• GIVE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
• OFFER HELP WHEN NEEDED
• REPAY DEBTS AND FAVORS
• ESTABLISH RULES ABOUT 3rd PARTY POTENTIAL
  PROBLEMS
• ESTABLISH RULES ABOUT PREVENTING CONFLICT

9
MOST PROBLEMATIC VIOLATIONS IN FRIENDSHIPS

• BEING JEALOUS/CRITICAL OF YOUR OTHER
  RELATIONSHIPS
• NOT KEEPING CONFIDENCES
• CRITICIZING YOU IN PUBLIC
• NOT VOLUNTEERING HELP IN TIME OF NEED

10

• NOT SHOWING POSITIVE REGARD FOR YOU
• NOT STANDING UP FOR YOU IN YOUR ABSENCE
• NOT GIVING EMOTIONAL SUPPORT