EFFECTIVE PARENTING

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EFFECTIVE PARENTING

• A BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE

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PRIMARY OBJECTIVES

• Establish an understanding of the biblical role
  of a parent.
• Provide practical and useful tools parents can
  use to increase their effectiveness.

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Who will benefit from this discussion?

• Gods children
• As much as you may admire your parents, we all
  have made mistakes (including your parents).
• Children
• Parents
• Grandparents
• Great-grandparents

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Who do you think you are?

• Child of God disciplined by God
• Child of parents who exercised authority
• College Trained Public School Educator
• 25 years teaching experience
• Successful father of three young adults

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Who does God hold responsible?

• Children

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Who does God hold responsible?

• Parents
• Children

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Who does God hold responsible?

• Dad Mom
• Parents
• Children

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Who does God hold responsible?

• Dad
• Dad Mom
• Parents
• Children

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PARENTAL OBSTACLES

• Alcoholism/Drug Abuse
• Step-parents
• Dr. Benjamin Spock

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PARENTAL PROBLEMS

• Alcoholism/Drug Abuse
• Step-parents
• Dr. Benjamin Spock
• Cultures of Female Deity Worship

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What is in mankind?

• Now when He was in Jerusalem at the Passover,
  during the feast, many believed in His name,
  observing His signs which He was doing. But
  Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to
  them, for He knew all men, and because He did not
  need anyone to testify concerning man, for He
  Himself knew what was in man. John 223-25

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We are like a pot, a bottle, a glass

• We can pour cranberry juice into it, or
• power steering fluid.
• Both are red, but one is lethal.
• Holy Spirit, or unholy spirits?

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How do children perceive themselves?

• As the center of the universe!

• My child would never do anything like that!
• Later in life He just is not capable of doing
  such a thing!

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NEVER, NEVER EVER NEVER EVER, EVER ASK A CHILD
WHAT THEY WANT!

• In doing so you are
• teaching them to want.
• making them feel as though you dont know what
  is best for them.
• making decisions for the household based on
  what they want, giving them the power to make
  decisions for the parents and the household.

15
South American Sears Manufacturing Plant

• Built facility
• Hired employees
• 1st pay check - more than previous years income
• Monday-factory was barren

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IDEA!

• Give out Sears catalogs to everyone!
• Factory never closed again.

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Gods desire for us

• The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
  Psalm 231
• Do not worry then, saying, What will we eat?'
  or What will we drink?' or What will we wear
  for clothing? For the Gentiles eagerly seek all
  these things for your heavenly Father knows that
  you need all these things. But seek first His
  kingdom and His righteousness, and all these
  things will be added to you. Matthew 631-33

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NEVER, NEVER EVER NEVER EVER, EVER CALL A CHILD
NAMES!

• You have heard that the ancients were told, You
  shall not commit murder and Whoever commits
  murder shall be liable to the court. But I say
  to you that everyone who is angry with his
  brother shall be guilty before the court and
  whoever says to his brother, You
  good-for-nothing, shall be guilty before the
  supreme court and whoever says, You fool,
  shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery
  hell. Matthew 521-22
• Modern terminology idiot, jerk, stupid

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Teach your children

• You shall therefore impress these words of
  mine on your heart and on your soul and you
  shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they
  shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall
  teach them to your sons, talking of them when you
  sit in your house and when you walk along the
  road and when you lie down and when you rise up.
  You shall write them on the doorposts of your
  house and on your gates, so that your days and
  the days of your sons may be multiplied on the
  land which the Lord swore to your fathers to give
  them, as long as the heavens remain above the
  earth. Deuteronomy 1118-21

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Educating Relationships

• 10 Commandments
• Relationship with God
• Relationship with others
• Manners
• Children should
• politely respond when addressed - i.e. speak
  when spoken to
• say thank you
• You must know what they are learning
• Oneg
• Chores learn responsibility, learn to enjoy
  working acquire a sense of accomplishment

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THIS IS LOVE

• Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline
  therefore be zealous and repent. Revelation 319
• Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,
  but bring them up in the discipline and
  instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 64
• He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he
  who loves him disciplines him diligently.
  Proverbs 1324
• Do not hold back discipline from the child,
  although you strike him with the rod, he will not
  die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue
  his soul from Sheol. Proverbs 2313-14
• The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who
  gets his own way brings shame to his mother.
  Proverbs 2915

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How old is old enough to be disciplined?

• When they demonstrate blatant defiance i.e. You
  know they know what they should not do, but they
  do it anyway.

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Dont wait until you cant take it anymore!
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POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT

• Catch the child doing good!
• Try to give rewards for right behavior, rather
  than focusing on what they do wrong.
• Talk with your child/children (turn off the
  television/computer/play station)
• Engage in activities with your children
• Let your children witness you in a posture of
  humility before the Lord.

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One-in-Seven Rule

• Reward good behavior one out of seven times.
• Works both ways, i.e. negative behavior that goes
  unrecognized only one out of seven occurrences
  reinforces the negative behavior.
• Consistency is crucial!
• Too much work?