Basic Steps to be a Good Parent

1
Basic Steps to be a Good Parent
Kwun Tong Methodist Social Service Ngua Tau Kok
Youth Integrated Centre
Miss Rita Lee Miss Kristy Leung
2
Aims

• Understand 4 common Parenting Styles
• Learn how to Build Relationship and the skills to
  Control Power in Parenting
• Know the attitudes and skills of Improving
  Parent-children relationship

3
Why do we need to learn

• PARENTING ?

4
Parenting style includes 2 elements

• Parental Responsiveness (love, warmth)
• Parental Demandingness (discipline, control)

5
A.Different Parenting Styles
6
B.The Effects of Different Styles on Your Children
7
Indulgent Parents

• Prepare everything for children
• Pay too much attention and care
• No rules. Let children do anything they like
• Allow freedom
• Set children as 1st priority
• Obey anything their children request
• Such parents cannot perform leadership
• Parents always being controlled

8
Consequences on children

• Dependent
• Self-enlarged
• Poor social skills
• Unable to respect others
• Less responsibility of self

9
Authoritarian Parents

• Control most power
• Require entire obedience
• Very firm, mainly use punishment to teach
• A list of norms/regulations are set to mode the
  children
• Less chance to develop childrens independence
• Always say No to children, neither concern
  their feelings
• Seldom praise their children for credit points

10
Consequences on children

• Lower self confidence
• Passive
• Lower ability to make decision
• Become more dependent or frightened

11
Uninvolved Parents

• No control and demand on children
• Seldom teach and nourish children
• Seldom spend time on children
• Low sense of responsibility to bring up the
  children

12
Consequences on children

• Lack of care and concern
• Do not know how to care others
• Lack of sense of belongingness and security
• Do not obey rules and regulations

13
Authoritative Parents

• Able to respect childrens individuality and
  choices, and have reasonable expectation on their
  children
• They will not be over-indulgent, and be able to
  insist their principles
• Assign job duties to their children reasonably
  according to their childrens ability
• Keep good communication with children and
  understand their needs and feelings
• Spend time to play, chat, go outing with their
  children to improve parent-child relationship

14
Consequences on children

• Able to respect others
• More friendly and willing to cooperate with
  others
• Be confident
• Well-disciplined
• Have clear goal of achievements
• More independent
• More responsible

15
Case Study

• Group Discussion

16
Case A

• Last Monday, Mary woke up lately. She might miss
  the school bus and was afraid to be punished by
  the teacher. So Mary asked mother for applying
  one day leave. Mother promised to do so.

17
Case B

• Tom and Peter are the neighborhood. One day,
  Peter invited Tom to play football but Tom had
  not finished his homework. He urged mother to let
  him go. Mother told that he could play after
  finishing homework.

18
Case C

• Class teacher informed parents to discuss
  childrens academic performance and disobedience
  in school. After one week, teacher can make
  contact with parent. Parent says ?Children will
  have better performance when growing up!?

19
Case D

• Father watched television while John wanted to
  play TV game. John threw temper and insisted to
  play TV game. John cried and threw away his toys
  after Fathers scolding. Finally, John was beaten
  by his father. Father kept on watching TV and let
  John crying in the dinning table.

20
Discussion

• What are the problems of children in the above
  cases(A,B,C,D)?
• What are your comments on the parenting style of
  different cases?(agree or disagree)
• a)How can you manage your children under such
  circumstances?
• b)What are your difficulties towards
  childrens behavior?

21
C. Build up Effective Parental Image
22
C.Principles and Means to build up Effective
Parental Image

• Set yourself a good example
• Keep your promise
• State your principles clearly
• Be consistent to children and within couples
• Clear guidelines for reward and punishment
• Give reasons or explanation
• Be fair and equal

23
D. Improve Parent-child Relationship
24
C.Principles and Means to improve Parent-child
Relationship

• Improve communication pattern
• More sense of humor
• Spend time to play with children
• Treasure the time when children in need
• Praise and encourage more often
• Respect childrens wills and ideas
• Appropriate body contact

25
Q A and Evaluation
Kwun Tong Methodist Social Service Ngua Tau Kok
Youth Integrated Centre