If Football Clubs were Women

1
If Football Clubs were Women
2
Fulham Charlotte Church

• Proof that moneycan't buy you classbut could
  look more attractive if the Welsh bloke was given
  the elbow.

3
Birmingham Pamela Anderson

• Used to look good in the cups but now a declining
  force.Plus millions of people watched them get a
  good seeing to.

4
Wigan Davina McCall

• Poor attendances confirm they'vebeen
  promotedabove their ability.

5
Portsmouth Girls Aloud

• Only one real class act among the hastily
  assembled line-up.You shouldn't like them but
  admit it, you've sneaked the occasional admiring
  glance.

6
Sunderland Kerry Katona

• Once the people's favourite but now an
  embarrassment. Fun while it lasted - now
  disappear from where you came, please.

7
Spurs Keira Knightley

• Undeniably easy on the eye with an attractive
  English spine and proof that two little ones up
  front needn't be a drawback.

8
Everton Dannii Minogue

• The poor relation to themore glamorous
  sibling.Can anyone remember when it was they
  were supposed to beany good?

9
Arsenal Jordan

• Were more likeablewhen they weren'tpacked out
  withexpensive foreign implants.

10
Newcastle Jodie Marsh

• Impressive front two but embarrassing at the
  back. Had surgery but need a lot more work
  tocompete at a higher level.

11
Aston Villa Dido

• Bland, boring and still trading off the one big
  hit they had years ago.

12
Liverpool SophieEllis-Bextor

• Individually all the components look greatbut
  stick them togetherand it just doesn't work.

13
Chelsea Rachel Stevens

• You'd rather just watch them than listen to
  allthat painful whining.

14
West Ham Vicky Pollard

• Nothing more needs saying as a teams fans speak
  for themselves - Chavs in Chavs clothing.

15
Bolton Clare Balding

• You wouldn't.Not even if theywere the last
  teamon earth.