Dealing with Suffering

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Chapter 5

• Dealing with Suffering

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General Terms

• Grief
• Deep distress, usually accompanied by sorrow
•  Mourning
• A process by which people express their grief
  after the death of a loved one.

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Psychological Responses to Death

• Relief
• Response when someones suffering has been long
  or difficult
• Shock / surprise
• Death that is sudden or unexpected

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General Characteristics

• Three truths about grief apply to all people
• grief is a process takes time, varies for each
  person / situation
• involves whole person physically /
  psychologically / spiritually
• hard work must work though the pain

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Grief (cont)

• Nature of Grief
• Not just one feeling, but a combination of
  emotions
• 4 major emotions associated with grief
• Sorrow
• Fear
• Anger
• Guilt

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Grief Does End

• Bereavement
• The entire grieving process, especially
  experienced by someone who has lost a loved one
  to death
• The process of grieving involves 3 phases
• The process does end at some point

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3 phases

• 1st phase
• intense grief especially when death is
  unexpected
• roller coaster of emotions
• may withdraw from society
• 2nd phase
• transition
• still feel loss but are beginning to cope with it
  /begin to recognize that the person is dead
• most of the work of grieving takes place at this
  time

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3 Phases (cont)

• 3rd phase
• accept loss and take up lives again
• new friendships
• realize that the pain is not as intense

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Dealing with Grief

• Social Rituals
• Actions that members of a society perform in
  order to deal with grief
•  
• Personal Rituals
• Varies depending on the person there is no
  wrong or right way

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Suggestions for Grief

• 4 suggestions
• feel your grief dont run away from it
• review the past in order to own it and then let
  it go
• envision your future visualize what might be
• return to the present anew enter fully into the
  present moment

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Lazarus

• John 11 1-44
• Describe the faith of Martha and Mary
• What does Jesus go through in this passage?
• What do we take away from this story as students
  of Death Dying?
• Key idea
• Jesus grieves it is ok for us to grieve

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Ministry of Consolation

• 3 persons of the Trinity as consoling
• Father
• The father of mercies and the God of all
  consolation
• Son
• Ability to change sorrow to joy
• Spirit
• As consoler, Advocate and guide

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Church as Consoling

• Love of neighbor is inseparable from love of God
• Follows Two Great Commandments (MT 2234-40) 
• Comfort the Sorrowful spiritual work of mercy
• We as the Church, the people of God, have the
  responsibility to help in this process

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CHAPTER 6

• The Stages of Death and Dying
• Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross

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Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross

• Psychologist who studied the effects of diseases
  leading to death
• Argued that everyone goes through 5 stages or
  steps when confronting death

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5 stages of Death and Dying

• Each person goes through stages in some way,
  shape, or form
• Length of stages varies for each person and each
  situation
• People can move back and forth between stages

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5 stages of Death and Dying

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

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DENIAL

• No not me. It cant be true
• One of the stages of dying, in which a person
  refuses to admit the truth of his or her
  condition
• Sigmund Freud / argued that humans believe in
  their subconscious that they are immortal.
• Denial of X-rays and diagnoses.
• Could also be seen in the form of desperate hope

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ANGER

• Why couldnt it be him and not me?
• stage in which a person is indignant about his or
  her approaching death and may seek someone else
  to blame
• person begins to recognize the severity of the
  situation / lashes out towards others
• blame God or others as scapegoats / small
  problems become more serious

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BARGAINING

• O God, Ill never say another word, if you spare
  me.
• Stage in which a person tries to buy more time by
  making a deal with God
• Makes bargain with God
• Also considered to be unfinished business
• Person can find strength in hope
• Bargaining for others (GEN 18 16-32)

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BIBLE ACTIVITY

• Gen 18 16-32
• Why does Abraham bargain with God?
• What do we learn about God from this passage?
• In your own life, do you bargain with God?

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DEPRESSION

• Im so tired.
• Stage in which a person becomes sad about his or
  her approaching death and begins to assess his or
  her life
• Feeling that the fight is useless
• Physical and emotional defeat
• Needed at this point affirmation and love from
  friends and family

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ACCEPTANCE

• Into your hands, I commend my spirit Im
  ready for the final rest before the long
  journey
• final stage in which a person accepts death and
  looks forward to future life after
• death
• deeply contemplative phase
• beginning to appreciate life and the past
  experiences
• Jesus on the cross / Joseph Bernardin

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Jesus and His death

• Jesus suffered like we suffered, we dont go
  through suffering alone
• Jesus as a role model and a companion to the
  dying
• Demonstrated in the Gospels

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Gospel Understandings

• John
• Highly theological text relfection based on
  previous texts
• Jesus in complete control and aware of the events
  leading to his death
• Synoptics
• Matthew, Mark, and Luke
• Seen with the same eyes
• Present similar images of the death of Jesus

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Synoptic Prefigurements

• Matthews prefigurement
• Coming of the Magi gift of myrrh
• Post-Baptism Temptation in desert
• Luke and the Suffering Servant
• Quotation from Isaiah
• Jesus had knowledge of his death

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Passion Predictions

• Mt. 1621
• Mt. 1722-23
• Mt. 2017-19

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Lukes Passion

• Luke 22 29-46 / 23 26-49
• How are the three predictions of the Passion
  realized in the section?
• How is the humanity of Jesus expressed in the
  selection?
• What examples of any of the stages is present?

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Psalm 22 and Jesus

• Psalm 22
• My God, My God, why have you forsaken me .
• Not depression, but a form of prayer.
• Jesus approached his death with faith, hope, and
  love

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Reconciliation

• 4 main parts
• Contrition
• Being truly sorry for our sins
• Confession
• Taking ownership by telling them to a priest
• Penance
• Actions to repair damage caused by our sins
• Absolution
• The priest acting in persona Christi extends
  Gods peace

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Requirements

• Honest sorrow for sins
• Receive sacrament at least once a year or in the
  state of mortal sin
• THE CATCH
• If we ask for forgiveness we must forgive others
  (Our Father)