Gods Design For Your Marriage

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Gods Design For Your Marriage
Wifes RoleRESPECT
November 30 , 2008 Pastor John Isaacs KingsWay
Community Church
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No God No Design
Marriage is Humanitys Own Social Cultural
Invention
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But, There Is A God And There Is An Intelligent
Design
Humanity Made In HIS Image
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Gods Design
Genesis 127 So God created man in His own image
in the image of God He created him male and
female He created them.
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God DesignedMarriage
Great Marriages Come From Doing It Gods Way!
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Genesis 224 For this cause a man shall leave his
father and his mother, and shall cleave to his
wife and they shall become one flesh.
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Gods Design
Marriage was designed to be a lifelong covenant
bond between one man and one woman.
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What Happens When Mankind Abandons Gods Design?
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Romans 124 So God abandoned them to do whatever
shameful things their hearts desired.

• Sexual Promiscuity
• Pornography
• Adultery
• Homosexuality
• Pedophilia

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Gods Design

• Genesis 1-3
• Ephesians 521-33
• Colossians 318-19
• 1 Peter 31-7
• Titus 25
• 1 Timothy 34, 12

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Husbands Role

• To Love
• To Serve
• To Lead

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Husbands Role

• Priest
• Prophet
• King

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Wifes Role

• Be a Helper
• Be Respectful
• Be Submissive

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The S Word Submission
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Hupotasso To place oneself under an orderly
arrangement.
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The disposition to yield to her husbands
guidance and her inclination to follow his
leadership.- John Piper and Wayne
GrudemBiblical Manhood and Womanhood
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Ephesians 531-33 31 As the Scriptures say, A
man leaves his father and mother and is joined to
his wife, and the two are united into one. 32
This is a great mystery, but it is an
illustration of the way Christ and the church are
one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his
wife as he loves himself, and the wife must
respect her husband.
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Love Respect By Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
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• The love she most desires, the respect he
  desperately needs.
• A wife has a driving need - to be loved. When
  that need is met, she is more fulfilled.
• A husband has a driving need - to be respected.
  When that need is met, he is more happy.

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The Crazy Cycle
He Reacts
She Reacts
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The Energizing Cycle
Motivates
Motivates
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• 1. Appreciate his desire to work and achieve.
• Tell him verbally or in writing that you value
  his work efforts.
• Express your faith in him related to his chosen
  field.
• Listen to his work stories as closely as you
  expect him to listen to your accounts of what
  happens in the family.
•      

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1. Appreciate his desire to work and achieve.

• See yourself as his helpmate and counterpart and
  talk with him about this whenever possible.
• Allow him to dream as you did when you were
  courting
• Dont dishonor or subtly criticize his work in
  the field to get him to show more love in the
  family.

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2. Appreciate his desire to protect and provide.

• Verbalize your admiration of him for protecting
  you and being willing to die for you.
• Praise his commitment to provide for and protect
  you and the family (he needs to know you dont
  take this for granted).

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2. Appreciate his desire to protect and provide.

• Never, in word or body language, put down his
  job or how much he makes.
• Respectfully voice concerns about finances and
  try to offer solutions on where you might be able
  to cut spending.
• Story of E. V. Hills wife.

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3. Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead.

• Tell him you are thankful for his strength and
  enjoy being able to lean on him at times.
• Praise his good decisions.
• Be gracious if he makes a bad decision.
• Disagree with him only in private and honor his
  authority in front of the kids.

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3. Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead.

• Give your reasons for disagreeing quietly and
  reasonably, but you never attack his right to
  lead.
• Do not demand that he agree with your
  perspective as a sign of his love for you.

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4. Appreciate his desire to analyze and
counsel.     

• Tell him upfront you just need his ear dont
  complain to him later that he always tries to
  fix you.
• Thank him for his advice without acting insulted
  or like he doesnt care about your feelings.
• Recognize his problem-solving approach as his
  male brand of empathy.

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4. Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel.

• Realize your vulnerabilities and value his
  protection.
• Counsel him respectfully when you differ with
  his ideas (you can be right but wrong at the top
  of your voice).
• Admit that you can be wrong and thank him for
  his perception and godly counsel.

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5. Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder
friendship.

• Tell him you like him and show it (he knows you
  love him, but he might often wonder if you
  really like him).
• Respond to his invitation to engage in
  recreational activities together or at least come
  along to watch him.

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5. Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder
friendship.

• Enable him to open up and talk to you as you do
  things shoulder to shoulder.
• Encourage him to spend time alone, which
  energizes him to reconnect with you later.

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5. Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder
friendship.

• Dont denounce his shoulder-to-shoulder
  activities with his male friends to get him to
  spend more face-to-face time with you.
• Respect his friendships, and he will be more
  likely to want you to join him shoulder to
  shoulder at other times.

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6. Appreciate his desire for physical intimacy.

• Respond to him sexually more often and initiate
  sex periodically.
• Let him acknowledge his sexual temptations
  without fearing hell be unfaithful and without
  shaming him.

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6. Appreciate his desire for physical intimacy.

• Understand his need for sexual intimacy just as
  you need emotional intimacy.
• Dont try to make him open up to you verbally by
  depriving him of sex.

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• Appreciate his desire
• to work and achieve.
• to protect and provide.
• to serve and lead.
• to analyze and counsel.
• to have shoulder-to-shoulder friendship.
• to have physical intimacy.

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His Love Blesses Her, Regardless of Her
Respect.  Her Respect Blesses Him, Regardless of
His Love.
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The RewardedCycle
Regardless of
Regardless of