Description

1
Description
More than just the facts
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Description helps us see things clearly however,
it involves more than just giving the details.
When describing

• Describe the unique qualities
• Avoid describing the common or assumed qualities
• Focus on the dominant impression
• Use concrete words
• Use sensory details (Not just sight also use
  smell, feel, sound, taste)
• Use figures of speech

3
For example, if I say
My copy of the book, Elmer Gantry, is very
important to me.
You clearly understand what I mean, but you dont
know why or how this copy of this particular book
is important. Let me try again
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Some tricks of the description tradeMy go at it
with a book I have

• Avoiding describing the common or assumed
  qualities, rather describing the unique qualities
  using concrete words and sensory details. To do
  this, I made a list of details I noticed about my
  book
• woven cloth covering
• Smells like dust and mold
• binding on the left is bright orange
• small wisps of thread are coming off the binding
• Published in 1929
• front and back covers are slate blue
• behind the frayed cloth binding on the outer
  corners you can see the cardboard
• Between the "r" and the "y" of Gantry, the
  remnant of a price tag or sticker
• inscribed "To Kelli From Boston's Brattle
  Bookstore, Amy
• the pages are faded to manila and darker around
  the edges
• the paper has a very course texture, its thick
• "The Novels Of Grace Livingston Hill" are
  advertised at the back of the book
• Inside the back, between the cover and the spine
  you can see the netting
• The dominant impression
• Here, I ask myself, what does this book really
  feel like? What is its essence?
• Old, well loved, fun, permanent
• If Im working to also describe the person who
  gave it to me, Id ask, how does it represent
  her?
• Adventurous (travel Boston)

5
Sometimes, its easier to describe in the context
of a narrative or story

• With narrative you use your story to get a point
  across. In writing it, you need to throw away
  the idea of essay as a dirty, formal, stifled
  style of writing. Instead, you
• Put on your story writing garb and work to create
  your story as close to the moment as possible.
• Create immediacy by writing in the present and
  personal.
• Show, dont tell. Use dialogue, onomatopoeia,
  and deep description to put your reader in the
  moment.

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So, If Im going to really show you the
significance of the book Amy gave me, I might do
something like this which describes the book in
the context of the story.
7
Outside of the English Building at New Mexico
State University, there is a concrete bench where
my friends and I often gather to talk. It wasnt
unusual that Amy showed up on that day, in fact
it would have been more unusual if she hadnt.
It was unusual however that she extended her hand
to me and said, Here. Grasped in her fingers
was a plastic grocery bag wrapped haphazardly
around something. Its your Christmas present.
she smiled. Early.
Here Im putting my description in context by
using narrative. (click to continue)
I reached through the crinkled bag, smiling at
the knowledge that Amy was never good at wrapping
presents. At first touch, the woven texture of
cloth covering revealed the bags contents.
Before I had pulled the book out, I seemed to
smell the dustiness that comes with sitting on a
shelf for so long. The binding on the left was
an all-too-bright orange, a remnant of 1929,
edged by small wisps of thread loosened over
time. The front and back covers were a slate
blue. I opened the cover and read, Elmer
Gantry. I lifted the book to my nose, my right
hand still between the cover and the title page
there was the chalkiness of dust, the potent age
of mold. I saw it and had to get it for you. I
knew you had to have it. Amy was beaming.
Notice how I used words and phrases from the list
I created? (click to continue)
8
Now, Im moving on to more about the book. As I
describe here, Im working to not only give a
better picture of the book, but also a better
picture of mine and Amys friendship. Notice
that Im still using those descriptions.
This book now stands among others dusty with
age, bearing the scars of wear, abuse, love.
From behind the frayed cloth binding on the outer
corners, bland, static cardboard peeks out.
Between the "r" and the "y" of Gantry, the
remnant of a price tag or sticker speaks of the
book's past lives. I imagine Amy, who inscribed
the book "To Kelli From Boston's Brattle
Bookstore--Amy," standing in between shelves
piled high, noticing these details as I would do
when buying a book for her. We, in our different
times, see the pages faded to manila, darker
around the edges framing the text. We flip
through them looking for evidence of previous
owners, something more to share with the past.
We feel the course texture of the paper, a
texture so unlike a new book's slick pages. At
the end of the novel are listings of the
publisher's other new releases. "The Novels Of
Grace Livingston Hill" tops a column of titles
never read in our English classes. Inside the
back, between the cover and the spine, the
netting that provides support and creates
durability steals out like a lace
undergarment. This book, 71 years old, having
traveled from unknown hands, to Boston, to Amy,
to New Mexico, to me, with its flaws, faults, and
history, is not one I pick up every day, in fact
sometimes I don't even notice it at the top of
the high shelf that's filled with other books
from the last century or two. But despite my
oblivion to it, it is always the same. Always
there.
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Can you see how this description not only tells
you about the book, but also shows how it is an
emblem of the friendship and similar interests
Amy and I share. I obviously love the book, and
she knew I would. I worked to describe not only
the book itself, but also the feelings, attitudes
and emotions that go with it.
10
Remember

• Describe the unique qualities
• Avoid describing the common or assumed qualities
• Focus on the dominant impression
• Use concrete words
• Use sensory details (Not just sight also use
  smell, feel, sound, taste)
• Use figures of speech
• Set it in a story (narrative)