Boy Girl Relationship in Islam

1
RELATIOINS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

• The Islamic Perspective for Muslim Youth growing
  up in North America

2
Islam
Religion Vs. Way of life

• Islam is a complete way of life that encompasses
  all aspects of ones personal and social life.
  As such, this divine code of life applies to
  everyone irrespective of time and place. One of
  the most important aspects of this code of life
  is its emphasis on our social obligations.

3
Love

• Our need to love
• And to BE loved

4
In the beginning

• There was Adam (a)
• Then there was Hawa (a)

5
Commandment

• One of the first commandments to Adam
• Adam, live you and your wife in the Garden.
  (234)
• Note Allah did not say that Adam should live
  there with his girlfriend, friend, or just a
  woman. He said to Adam that he should live there
  with his WIFE. no lust but a role of husband
  that comes with responsibilities.

6
Clarification

• Contrary to popular belief
• LOVE DOES EXIST IN ISLAM!!!
• But in defined parameters

7
Love Defined

• The believer is an embodiment of Love, and there
  is no good in a person who does not love and who
  is not beloved
• It is part of human nature
• Innate Feeling
• Natural phenomenon
• Do not be afraid of love, but be afraid of what
  direction you LET your love lead you

8
Factors of Love

• Marriage/Love is a blessing from Allah.
• Quran uses the word libaas (2187) or
• Garments
• Protectors
• Companions
• Friendship

9
Disillusionment of Love

• Loss of the true essence
• Disillusionment
• Infatuation-Lust

10
Societal Influences

• Movies
• Music
• Non-Muslims/Muslim friends
• Norms of the society

11
Effects of Dating/Pre-marital Relations

• Pseudo-Relationship
• Fakeness
• Insincerity
• Just to have a good time
• Superficial
• EXPENSIVE
• In violation of Allahs commands.
• Door to major sins.

12
Interaction between Genders

• Defined in Quran
• Come not near adultery, Lo! It is an abomination
  and an evil way. (1732)
• Allah commands justice, kindness, and giving to
  near relatives, while He forbids sexual
  misconduct, debauchery and insolence. He
  instructs you, so that you may receive
  admonition. (1690)

13
Interaction between Genders

• In Hadith
• When there are only two, the third is shaitaan
• Give me a guarantee (that you will not misuse)
  what is between your jaws and what is between
  your legs, and I guarantee you Jannah"
• Story Time!
• Snow Ball Effect Reality (not theory)

14
Islamic Solution

• Proper Hijaab
• Marriages earlier than the norms of Todays
  Society
• Arranged Marriages/ Guided Marriages

15
Hijaab

• Contrary to popular belief-
• Hijaab is a PRACTICE of HAYA and a strong message
  not just the cloth that sisters wear on their
  heads
• Defines the interaction between Men and Women

16
Hijaab Defined

• Tell the believing men to lower their gaze from
  looking at forbidden things and to protect their
  private parts, that is purer for them, verily
  Allah is all aware of that what they do
• And tell the believing women to lower their gaze
  and protect their private parts and not to show
  off their adornments except that which is
  apparent
• (2430,31)

17
Marriage in Islam

• Contrary to popular belief
• Marriage is the union of two families NOT union
  of two individuals
• How do I know when Im ready to be married?

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Answer

• Questions to ask myself
• Am I ready to take on the responsibilities of
  that role (Husband/Wife/Father/Mother)
• - Am I mature enough?

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Islamic Solution to Dating

• ARRANGED/Guided
• MARRIAGES

20
Misconceptions of Arranged /Guided Marriages

• Society Thinks/Says
• How do you marry someone you dont know?
• Solution
• QWhen your dating, are you seeing that person
  as they are? Or how they want you to see them?
• Muslim Extended Family System

21
Internal Misconceptions

• Todays Muslim Girls Fears
• Hell keep me
• Barefoot
• Pregnant
• Cooking all day long
• Hell have no concept of love at all

22
Internal Misconceptions

• Todays Muslim brother thinks
• She wont be cool to hang out with
• Shell tell him everything he does is HARAAM.
• Shell keep him on lock down

23
Arranged/Guided Marriage Defined

• Family system implements overlapping checks
• NO one can force you to marry anyone
• Built on communication
• TWO WAY!!!!!!!

24
Process

• Communicate Early
• If you cant communicate with your parents call
  someone who can.
• Trust in Allah
• If its meant to be, itll happen, there is
  nothing that you can do that will make it happen
  faster.

25
Qualities to look for in a Wife

• Deen
• Wealth
• Family Status
• Beauty
• If you want to be successful, Choose Deen

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Qualities to look for in a Husband

• Deen
• Amanah
• Akhlaaq

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Tips

• If marriage looks far off
• Lower your gaze
• Avoid situations where you might be overcome by
  lust
• Never let shaitaan give you an excuse to talk to
  a sister/brother, NOW MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION IS

28
Common Excuses

• Common excuses that shaitaan will give
• He/She is Muslim
• Were just friends
• our intentions are good
• Whats wrong with it?
• Were discussing Islam
• We trust each other and ourselves

29
Fear Allah

• The only solution