Doing The Best With Their Resources

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Doing The Best With Their Resources

• Everyone is Doing Absolutely the Best They Can
  With the Resources That They Have

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• One of the core principles of NLP
  (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is that all human
  beings at all times are doing the best they can
  with the resources that they have. This may or
  may not seem like a simple concept to you. When
  you really dig into it, you begin to realize that
  it is quite a difficult thing for us to wrap our
  heads around. This is especially true when you
  think of human beings acting in extreme manners
  or conducting themselves in a way that just does
  not seem to make sense to us.

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• Take, for example, a person who is unfaithful to
  their spouse. This core principle would state
  that the individual, even though they are being
  unfaithful and hurting the person that they
  should be protecting the most, is still doing the
  best they can with the resources that they have.
  In another example, think of someone who commits
  some of the most hideous crimes in our society.
  That individual is, in fact, doing the best they
  can with the resources that they have, and
  additionally, making the best decisions he or she
  can make with the information and resources that
  they have at that moment. It is important to note
  that human beings, of course, gain more knowledge
  and gain additional resources as they gain
  experience. Once again, at any point in time,
  they are doing their best with their resources in
  that moment.

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While it may be difficult for us to understand
this in another human being, it is much more
clear when we think about this for ourselves.
Think back to some of the worst mistakes you have
made in your life, or think about some of the
worst decisions you have made. If you think back
to any of those situations and were able to put
yourself in a time machine and go back to that
moment, and you truly think about the resources
and knowledge you had at that moment, you would
soon realize that you would make the same mistake
over again exactly as you did then. Many of us
think that if we could go back to our high school
years, we might study harder, practice more, and
possibly even behave ourselves more. But in
reality, if you think back to the resources and
knowledge you had at that point, you realize that
your life would be absolutely the same and your
actions would be no different than they were then.
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• What is a practical application of this somewhat
  bizarre notion? In practice, this is something
  that is extremely important when we are dealing
  with situations where another persons actions
  are frustrating to us. For a business owner, for
  example, it may be frustrating when an employee
  simply does not listen or simply does not follow
  directions. If you stop and think about the fact
  that even in that moment while the employee is
  doing something that makes no sense to you, they
  are only doing that because of the resources that
  they have, and the fact that you would have made
  a different decision, a better decision, is only
  because you have different resources and
  additional knowledge than they do.

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• In another example, one can think of a child who
  is acting irrationally. In the case of a child,
  once again, it is critical to understand that the
  child is doing absolutely the best he or she can
  do with the resources he or she has in that
  moment. Consider that resources are not just
  limited to knowledge and tools. The resources an
  individual has, at any given moment, include much
  more complex things such as hormones and the way
  that they affect the human body and mind. Another
  example is the state in which an individual is
  in. At times, an individual may be in a very
  resourceful state where they are able to tap into
  things in a substantially more effective way than
  other times when an individual may not be in a
  resourceful state.

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• Throughout our lives, we will always have people
  do things that puzzle us, and treat us in ways
  that potentially hurt us. If at every turn you
  recognize that that individual is doing the best
  with the resources he or she has, you can spare
  yourself the pain of thinking that that human
  being is simply bad or purposely trying to hurt
  you. The next time someone cuts you off on the
  freeway, honks at you, and gives you a view of
  their middle finger, keep in mind that in that
  moment, the individual is doing the best with the
  resources he or she has. Focus on yourself, the
  knowledge that you have, and the resources that
  you have, and consider how you can expand your
  knowledge and resources so you can make better
  choices in the future.

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• One of the best ways to learn a new behavior is
  practice it as much as possible, so apply this in
  the real world in by thinking about this with
  every single person you speak with for the next
  24 hours. As anyone is speaking to you, or
  interacting with you, simply think about the
  notion that whatever theyre doing in that moment
  is the best they can do with the resources they
  have. Recognizing this fact will allow you to
  understand human beings at a level you never
  thought possible. More importantly, it will allow
  you to have a level of forgiveness that you have
  never had in your entire life.

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