5 Important Rules to Lead & Influence More Effectively

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5 Important Rules to Lead Influence More
Effectively
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As business owners, managers, parents,
salespeople and members of any team, we are
constantly faced with situations where we want to
encourage, lead, motivate, or influence people.
If this is something we do so frequently, why is
it that most of us are so ineffective at getting
the results we want? We end up giving what we
think is good advice but they dont make a change
or follow our advice, even though it is in their
best interest. Here are 5 helpful points to
consider when you are in position to lead or
motivate someone.
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Whether they are 5, 16, or 60 years old, most
people think they have the world figured out.
They also want to come across as successful,
accomplished, and ultimately worthy of love.
Being told what to do immediately puts them in an
inferior position, and makes them feel
inadequate. Make them feel like they are worthy
of your love now. Come from the direction of
helping them make their life even better, and if
they dont make their life better, they are still
worthy, and a good person. When you assume this
position, you are no longer giving advice, you
are a helpful resource, giving them helpful
suggestions to improve the quality of their life.
1 People dont want to be told what to do.
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Dont steer them to live their life on your terms
and according to your goals. Identify whats
important to them in life, and tie what you are
influencing them to do, to those values. Imagine
if you are managing someone and you want to
motivate them to work longer hours. You might
tell them how working more hours would mean that
they will be able to make more money and they
will be able to have the freedom to travel and
live life at a higher level. But what if their
values were slightly different than yours and
they valued family more than anything else? The
idea of working harder and longer hours, to them,
may mean being away from their family and the
people they love the most. By understanding their
values, you would simply restate what you want to
say in a frame that considers their values. You
could bring to light everything they could do for
their family as a result of working more hours,
that they cannot do now. They would appreciate
this perspective more and they might notice that
working harder leads them to being able to
provide better for their family, and that their
family would be even more proud of them and their
success.
2 They have different goals and values.
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Their mind is the only thing that is making
things real and here is a simple examples about
this concept. Theres a condition called,
Congenital Insensitivity to Pain (CIP). People
with this condition are not able to feel pain.
For example if they burn their hand, they
wouldnt know or feel it. Its important to know
that their hand is not the problem or has no pain
receptors. Its their brain that is different and
doesnt process pain. To me, the reality of the
hand burning is a symbol of the world around us,
and the brain not feeling it, is a symbol of our
perception of the world. What you think of as
reality is just your perception of what is
happening around you.
3 They have a different map of the world.
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You need to show them that you believe they can
make a change, that you are cheering for them to
win, and you are there to support them in the
process. Bring to light their strong personality
attributes that will help them realize they are
already equipped with the skills and power to
make the change and succeed. Most people suffer
from a lack of self-confidence, even those who
put on a magnificent show of power and arrogance.
4 They dont believe they can make a change.
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Atelophobia is the fear of not being good
enough and while its described as an anxiety
disorder, it is something we all suffer from to
various extents. One of the most powerful ways to
influence someone is by first getting them to
believe in themselves so they actually believe
they can make a difference and they believe they
can, in fact, succeed. Make them believe in
themselves and you have already won 70 of the
battle.
4 They dont believe they can make a change
(cont.)
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For most, even if you can convince them they can
win the battle, they still wont believe they can
win the war. As kids, we are taught to not fight
battles we cant win, and that advice works
fairly well. We dont pick on the big, mean kid
at school so we wont get beaten up. But does it
work? Not really. Have you noticed that someway
or another, most of us still get picked on or
made fun of. It may be the mean kid or someone we
didnt expect. It might even be that we didnt
start the fight and we didnt even want to be in
a fight. Its important to change their mindset
here. Make them realize that they MUST fight
battles that are important for you to win
regardless of the probability and effort needed
to win. Help them identify their outcome, get
them to prepare, convince them to execute, and
make sure they learn from results, regardless of
victory or defeat. Bring to light that they may
be too busy doing things that are easy but not
that rewarding. Make them see they are better
than that, and they would get a lot of
gratification if they were to challenge
themselves and tackle the bigger things, even if
they are harder, because they are much more
rewarding.
5 They dont think they can win the war.
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Being a great leader is not something that is
going to happen automatically. Like anything
valuable in life, it is going to take a
significant investment of time and effort. By
focusing on applying these five simple concepts
to your interactions, you are going to
significantly increase your influence over the
people around you. Most importantly, you will go
from giving advice which no one follows to
someone who consistently makes the people around
them better. What are you more interested in?
Feeding your ego by giving advice or fueling
people to make their lives better with your
guidance? If you choose the latter on a
consistent basis, you will be a recognized leader
within all of your circles.
Become a Great Leader
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• Mr. Arman Sadeghi, CEO
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• [phone]
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