Reality Testing: How to Check Our Assumptions in Relationships

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Reality Testing How to Check Our Assumptions in
Relationships
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(No Transcript)
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• A barrier to good communication is assuming that
  we know how our partner feels at any given time.
  We take things out of context, misread messages,
  and sometimes make mountains out of molehills.
  Assumptions can be very damaging to
  relationships.
• One of the concepts taught to couples in
  counseling is reality testing or how to check out
  our assumptions in relationships. If left
  unaddressed, these misconceptions can lead to
  greater problems between a person and his or her
  spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend. They can also
  cause problems within families as word spreads
  fast when one or more parties are dissatisfied
  with their partner.

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• Assumptions start when one person believes their
  partner should know exactly what theyre
  thinking. More alarming than that, the same
  person thinks that their spouse, girlfriend or
  boyfriend doesnt care enough about them if they
  dont acknowledge an unspoken need. Its a
  double-edged sword that causes relationship
  troubles for many people.
• Another issue that couples face is thinking that
  things will be different if your partner did one
  thing opposed to another. It makes one party feel
  defensive and halts communication. It doesnt
  allow couples to move past problems because both
  parties feel as if theyre right and the other
  person is wrong.

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• So, what does reality testing do? It helps
  dismantle assumptions. It starts with listening
  to the language that youre using with your
  partner.
• If youre always saying (or find yourself
  thinking), Well, I assumed, you may not be
  fully understanding the other persons take on
  the subject. It always helps to check in with
  yourself and inquire if what youre feeling is
  based on reality or fiction.
• Reality testing is active because it invites you
  to accept the notion that youre playing a role
  in a misunderstanding or conflict. Assumptions,
  on the other hand, are passive because they dont
  require effort and put a strain on the best
  relationships.

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• By checking out your assumptions, youre able to
  communicate more clearly with more positive
  results. Youre able to maintain your own
  perspective about a situation and still allow
  space for compromise. Its how youre able to
  move past things that hurt or irritate you
  without putting your relationship at risk.
• Heart Centered Counseling provides individual
  therapy, marriage or couples counseling and
  family therapy. We offer the best care available
  to those struggling with personal, relational,
  and mental health issues. If you are looking for
  counseling in Loveland or Therapist in Fort
  Collins or Greeley or Loveland, please visit our
  site http//carlscounseling.com/ to know more
  about us and how to contact us.