A Discussion Between Anita And Her Aunt

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andwemet.com
A Discussion Between Anita And Her Aunt
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Aunt (mothers sister) you are 28 , soon going
to be 30 and single.
Anita yes aunty I am 28 and am single and it
will take me 2 more years or 24 months to turn
30. Dont you remember I celebrated my 28th
birthday just a week back. You make me sound like
I need to give up on life (laughs out loud)
Aunt yes the point is you are 28 and are
single. You better find someone or else it will
be difficult to find as you grow older.
Anita I will not agree about it being difficult
to find someone as I grow older and wait, I am
only 28.
Having said this, yes I am looking out, I have
signed up on few Indian matchmaking sites, though
I have to admit I am not looking consciously.
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Aunt Well you better get serious about finding
a life- partner while you have time on your side.
Anita Time? What do you mean while I have
time? Aunt You will turn 30 soon and it will be
difficult to find a match.
Anita (All confused) whats this magic number
can one not find a partner when one is in their
30s or above?
Aunt yes, kind off. In fact, by 30 couples have
both their children. And look at you, no boy in
sight. Your mother had both you and your brother
by the time she was 23.
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Anita Aunty, slow down, breathe. Mommy and you
got married when you were 20 years and were
managing home and children by 23, here I am 28
and yes though I am ready for a committed
relationship I still am finding what I want to do
in life. Besides I do know what
qualities I want in my life-partner and am on a
look-out.
Aunt (Nodding her head in despair) I cannot
understand what do you mean know what I want in
my lifepartner. Your generation overthinks too
much.
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Anita yes, you may be right, we may overthink
at times but I know when it comes to a serious
relationship I do have some deal-breakers and I
am confident I will meet someone who will match
my thoughts and if it means to meet him at 32 so
be it (and she smiles). My issue is where or
which Indian dating site do I sign up on because
all the ones that are available is full of
those who catfish and fake profiles and the
discussion is more around physical traits.
Aunt so what are you looking for, what does
your bucket list read like.
Anita I will love to share it with you as long
as there will be no judgements or you going all
hyper and binding me under the garb of tradition
which I think is poor and deep societal
conditioning.
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Aunt (rolls her eyes, breathes heavily) sure,
tell me, I am all ears.
Anita before I share my bucket list, I want to
ask your views about me. Do you think I am
respectful?
Aunt Yes you are, and you happen to be my first
born niece, you hold a very special place in my
heart.
Anita great, my next question, do you think I am
caring and have decent values imbibed in me?
Aunt Yes you are caring and you are a role
model for all the younger kids in the family.
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Aunt You know my views on drinking, while I do
not promote it, I know you enjoy yours and no, it
does not make you a bad person. Hold on, why are
you asking me these questions? You know I
am extremely fond of you and in fact you are also
my go to person when I have something to. I am
confused where is this leading to? How is it
associated with our main topic of you getting in
a serious relationship?
Anita Aunty all what I have asked you is leading
up to me getting into a discussion around me
being in a committed relationship. Bear with me,
I have a few more questions to ask.
Aunt (rolling her eyes) OK carry on.
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Anita Aunty, now we know that I am your
favourite niece and also a role model in the
family (gives a naughty smile) , how will
you react if I tell you I do want to marry but
before I commit to marriage I will like a long
courtship with my prospect partner where we
live as companions he lives in his home and I
live in mine. We meet as a couple, we meet with
our families and share friends, routine
things that couples do.
Aunt you are confusing me, what is this
companionship and why?
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Anita Aunty, will you like me to be in one
relationship for a long time (or life-long) or
will you want me to marry because I am expected
to and then get to know my partner to realise we
are not a match. I know you will pick the former.
Yes, ofcourse I understand when two people decide
to be a couple there are shared goals and not
shared goals. And there are compromises to be
made from both sides. For me I am good and
prepared for all of this, but I will want to be
with a life-partner where say 80 of our goals
are common and for the remaining 20 I am
willing to compromise.
Aunt (very confused) what do you mean by shared
goals?
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Anita Aunty dont blow your top when I tell you
that I will like adopt, and also give up my
high-paying but stressful job to manage a home
and start something of mine from home. In fact I
am contemplating quitting my job in the next 6-9
months. Aunt (she had many questions running in
her hear) You are confusing me - why do you want
to leave your job? Dont you want to be
financially independent? Why did your parents
spend so much on your education sending you to
America to study? And why do you want to adopt,
what if the prospect partner does not want to.
Oh Anita, you are confusing and even scaring me.
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Anita Aunty Breatheits not as complicated as
you think. Yes, I want to be financially
independent. You know I take singling classes I
want to invest my time in doing that than doing
what I am at work. Besides home making also takes
a lot of time and energy and I have a dream for
the kind of home I want to build. Secondly, mom
dad did invest in me providing the best
of education, allowing me to travel around the
world and doing so has opened my perspective
towards life and I hold that very close to me
than the degrees I obtained. And ofcourse I can
always get back to a job if I dont enjoy
homemaking but how will I know what I really want
if I dont try and I want to meet someone with
whom I can discuss my dreams and have him support
while I support his.
As for children, I am OK having my own but my
preference is to adopt and this I will like to
discuss with my life-partner. I am not trying to
be radical here, all I am saying is I am looking
to meet someone with whom I can have real
discussions and take it from there and
unfortunately I dont find any available dating
site or dating app or matrimonial apps allowing
this sort of conversation and nor do I find you
or parents having this conversation with the boys
family letting them know I will want answers to
this.
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Aunt Oh Anita, you make finding a partner so
tough and highly impossible. Hey wait let me look
into my friends group whatsapp, someone the other
day shared a message about new dating site which
is breaking barriers around taboos while have
retaining relationship values. Here you go it is
called andwemet.com
Anita I like the name andwemet, will give It a
look, how about both of us looking at it right
now. Before we do so can I hug you tight and then
go and pour myself a drink. Hmm shall I make you
one too (wink).