Self-control and the under-five: How you can help.

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Self-control and the under-five How you can help.
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All parents have been there. The earth-shattering
tantrum at the store. The family get-togethers
that see the kids stuck in a headlock. It is a
normal part of parenting. But how can you make it
easier for your child and you to navigate their
early life with fewer emotional catastrophes?
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Understand the cause
Self-control is tough, even for adults. Ask Laura
Brannigan. It is even more challenging when the
brain hasnt developed the reasoning skills it
needs to self-regulate. Development from
conception to five years old is rapid. Your child
transforms from a single cell to a walking,
talking, thinking little human, and the rate of
development will never be matched again in their
lifetime. The complicated part is that certain
parts of their brain develop faster than others.
For example, the prefrontal cortex is where our
executive functions take place. And our executive
functioning is literally what separates us from
the animals. Our working memory, ability to think
flexibly and self-control are all a part of
executive functioning.
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Nature vs. Nurture
Despite the developmental immaturity, a childs
environment, the support they receive, and how
they are taught to deal with situations can make
a difference in how they practice executive
functioning skills, including self-control.
Parents and early childhood educators can help
children develop methods to self-regulate.
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Be clear and consistent
Make sure that you are clear about what behavior
is expected from early on. Communicate it in a
simple yet positive way. Children struggle to
extrapolate. A series of instructions confuses
them and creates anxiety. Focus on one at a time.
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Keep a routine
Children take comfort in knowing what to expect,
and routine is essential. Knowing that lunchtime
comes after storytime and bedtime comes after
bath time helps them feel more in control of
their world. However, sudden, unexpected changes
to their routine can cause anxiety and lead to
them losing emotional control. If you know that
the routine will be disrupted, prepare them as
much as possible by positively describing what
they can expect.
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Know their limitations
Childrens ability to focus on a specific
learning activity is limited. The rule of thumb
is twice their age, in minutes. So, at best, a
five-year-old has a ten-minute window to learn
new information actively. The best way to manage
this is to alternate activities, allow them the
opportunity to get up, move and play, and
incorporate games into their learning. If a child
is engaged in something they enjoy, their ability
to focus improves tenfold.
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Encourage empathy
Genuine empathy is quite an advanced emotional
skill. Children are very focused on their own
needs by design. But they can be taught to choose
to consider the feelings and welfare of someone
else. Make sure you model this behavior by openly
sharing, acknowledging your mistakes, and
ensuring you give the child some undivided
positive attention.
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Acknowledge them
If a child feels heard and receives empathy when
angry, sad, or overwhelmed, they realize that
their feelings matter. Talk to your child without
being dismissive and encourage them to discover
ways to cope with their emotions. Recognize and
acknowledge them when they show growth.
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Stand your ground
When the inevitable meltdown happens, avoid
losing your cool. You cant fight fire with fire
on this one. It reinforces that you need to yell
and shout to get what you want. Keep calm and
explain that tantrums are not the way to get what
you want. And as hard as it may be, dont ever
give in.
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Choose a school that shares your values.
Its essential that what you are modeling at home
is reinforced at your childs school or daycare.
Ensure that you have a relationship with your
childs teachers, and you can talk about your
values. Anna Jacks Treehouse values this
relationship. In addition, parents can message
and get real-time updates on whats happening
during the day, as well as access to a live CCTV
feed so they can check on their little ones at
any time.
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The Treehouse way curriculum encompasses many
learning techniques. As a result, when their
children go to kindergarten, they have superior
social and literacy skills. The original
Treehouse is in New Rochelle, and you can also
contact their Pelham childrens center or their
daycare in Norwalk, CT.
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