HOW SEX ADDICTION AFFECTS RELATIONSHIPS

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How Sex Addiction Affects Relationships
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HOW SEX ADDICTION AFFECTS RELATIONSHIPS
Someone you love has a sex addiction, and the
discovery makes you feel vulnerable and scared.
Youre worried about how sex addiction affects
relationships and what it means for yours. Sex
addiction can impact any relationship. It can
change relationships with intimate partners,
friends, and even colleagues. Educating yourself
can help you be strong for the person with the
addiction. To help them recover, its essential
to understand sex addiction and what to
expect. Understanding Sex Addiction Sex
addiction, or hypersexuality, is a compulsive
behavioral disorder. A person addicted to sex
uses it as a coping mechanism for adverse
emotions. In other words, they turn to sex to
help them feel better emotionally. Symptoms of
sex addiction include Spending excessive amounts
of time or money pursuing sexual gratification
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Relationships Using sexual release as a coping
mechanism for stressors Feeling out of control of
sexual behaviors Engaging in high-risk sexual
activities Avoiding social engagements or
responsibilities that dont include sex
Experiencing guilt, shame, and anxiety about
sexual behaviors Hiding, lying about, or being
secretive about sexual behaviors The symptoms of
sex addiction vary some from person to person,
but many people have at least some of these
things in common. Its easy to see how these
symptoms alone could negatively impact a
relationship. How Sex Addiction Affects
Relationships If youre in a relationship with
someone who isnt emotionally healthy and keeps
secrets about their behaviors, its easy to see
how that negatively impacts the
relationship. Sex addiction is an intimacy
disorder, so it harms all relationships in the
persons life, said Matt Wenger, Clinical
Director at Begin Again Institute. Those
relationships include those with signi cant
others, family members, and friends. Sex
addiction has a far-reaching impact on
relationships with others because the person with
the addiction is hiding who they are. Theyre
not only being dishonest with you, but theyre
also likely being dishonest with
themselves. Intimacy disorders are a barrier
people use to protect themselves. They prevent
them from experiencing true closeness, so they
arent vulnerable. Therefore, a person with sex
addiction will never be able to be authentic
until they seek treatment. Men dealing with sex
addiction usually feel isolated and lonely. They
feel the need for connected relationships, but
theyre unsure how to foster them, Matt stated.
Theyre crippled by the shame of acting out and
past traumas and instinctively hide or put on
personas to protect themselves from
rejection. Partners of people with sex
addiction feel rejected, unloved, ignored, or
confused, Matt said. If someone you love has a
sex addiction, you may notice that they seem
detached. You also may feel theyre keeping
things from you or that something isnt quite
right with them.
How to Deal with Sex Addiction in a Relationship
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How Sex Addiction Affects Relationships
You care deeply for the person in your life with
sex addiction, and you want to know how you can
help. Youre taking brave steps to help them and
should feel proud of yourself. Take the
following steps to help someone acknowledge and
seek help for sex addiction. Educate
Yourself Knowledge is power. Understanding the
connections that sex addiction has to a persons
life will help you be compassionate. Educating
yourself on addiction helps give you power and
understanding, said Nate Geyer, a Primary
Therapist at Begin Again Institute. There are
innumerable resources available to those living
in a relationship with a sex addict that can
provide understanding, compassion, and
empathy. He suggested books and other resources
on trauma, addiction, betrayal trauma, and
attachment. Encourage Them to Seek Treatment A
person in a relationship with someone with a sex
addiction should encourage them to seek
treatment. Sex addicts are not happy. Even in
active addiction, they are lled with anxiety,
sadness, numbness, or other challenging
feelings, Matt said. If you are in any
relationship with a sex addict, its best to
encourage them to seek treatment for their own
sake and for the sake of those near them that
they are hurting.
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Relationships
Helping them seek treatment for sex addiction is
a step in the right direction. Rather than
pressuring them, remind them that they deserve
help. Its a long process. Reminding them of how
sex addiction affects relationships with others
may be a reason for them to seek
treatment. Communicate Honestly and Without
Judgment Sex addiction is an intimate,
challenging addiction. You can improve your
connection by providing your loved one with a
safe space to talk. Removing judgment can foster
an open connection and conversation. Remind them
that youre there with compassionate
ears. Maintain Boundaries Its crucial for
someone in a relationship with a person with a
sex addiction to maintain boundaries. Matt said,
A person should develop boundaries with wise
counsel and use them. Decide what your
boundaries are and communicate them. Boundaries
are just that, lines that can not be crossed.
When they are violated, dont be afraid to enact
the consequences. This is for your emotional and
sometimes physical safety. But also for the
health of the addict. If they are held
accountable with felt consequences for their
choices, they may seek treatment more quickly,
Matt said. Lean On Your Support
Network Supporting your loved one through sex
addiction can also be draining for you. Patience
and seeking outside support are key to your
mental health. Surround yourself with people you
can trust. They can support you through this
process. You deserve a safe space just as much
as your partner. Seek Help for Yourself Its not
just the person with the addiction who needs
help. You shouldnt go through this
alone. Being in a close relationship with an
addict is traumatic, and you deserve help and
support, Matt said. You may experience
intimate partner betrayal trauma. You may feel
like youre unable to trust your partner anymore
and feel alone. Youre not alone in this. You
also deserve help and to heal from your own
traumatic experiences. Taking care of yourself
during this time is crucial, so you can help
support your loved one in their healing time.
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Relationships Sex Addiction Treatment Understandin
g how sex addiction affects relationships
involves knowing treatment options. If youre
looking at sex addiction treatment programs,
there are some factors to consider Does the
treatment program include trauma-focused therapy?
Does the program have a partner support
treatment option? Will there be group therapy
involved to help your loved one experience
empathy and connection with others? When
researching sex addiction treatment, consider the
common approaches and whether the treatment
center uses them. Common approaches to sex
addiction treatment include Trauma-Focused
Therapy. Individualized time with therapists
allows you to heal the trauma causing your
addiction. Trauma Resolution Therapy. Help you
resolve the emotional flux trauma causes and
heal from it. Mindfulness Therapy. Teaches
healthy coping strategies to help you live in the
moment instead of worrying about the past or the
future. Brainspotting. Helps you identify areas
of unprocessed trauma and heal from
them. Treatment at Begin Again Institute Sex
addiction is damaging to all of the surrounding
relationships. Whether your want to recover from
sex addicition, encourage someone else to seek
treatment, or heal yourself following a
relationship with a sex addiction, Begin Again
Institute can help. Our 14-Day Mens Intensive
allows you to start healing your core wounds and
start recovering. At the same time, your partner
can get understanding and healing from our
Partner Support Program. Contact Begin Again
Institute if youre ready to recover from the
impact of sex addiction.