Marriage Counselling Workshop

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Transformed Life
Transformation
2 Cor 318 And we, who with unveiled faces all
reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed
into his likeness with ever-increasing glory,
which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
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Transformed Life
Metamorphosis
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Transformed Life
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Transformed Life
Transformation
Eph 420-24 You, however, did not come to know
Christ that way. 21 Surely you heard of him and
were taught in him in accordance with the truth
that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard
to your former way of life, to put off your old
self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful
desires 23 to be made new in the attitude of
your minds 24 and to put on the new self,
created to be like God in true righteousness and
holiness.
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Transformed Life
RIGHT MINDSET
WRONG MINDSET
OLD SELF
NEW SELF
CREATED TO BE LIKE JESUS
Deceitful Desires MY PLEASURE
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Transformed Life
CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
The word Rejoice comes 133 times, Joy 218
times, happy 24 times, Happiness 6
times,. There is nothing wrong in wanting to be
happy. But an obsessive preoccupation with my
happiness often obscures our understanding of
the biblical route to deep, abiding joy. I want
to feel good or I want to be happy Being
consumed with my own happiness At any cost I
want to be happy! I want this so that I will be
happy! Only if you do this I will be happy! I
am not happy because you are like this...
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Transformed Life
CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
?Acts 2035 In everything I did, I showed you
that by this kind of hard work we must help the
weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus
himself said It is more blessed to give than to
receive.'"
When do we say that we are blessed? When we get
something! Jesus more blessed to give! Give
because God has already given you!
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Transformed Life
CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
Luke 622-23 Blessed are you when men hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you and reject
your name as evil, because of the Son of Man. 23
"Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because
great is your reward in heaven. For that is how
their fathers treated the prophets. ?BLESSED
happy because I am favoured by God. Worldly
(wrong) mindset I will be happy when I get...
Godly (right) mindset I will be happy when I
give because that pleases God (that is Gods
will). So God is Glorified that is the very
purpose for which God created me!
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Transformed Life
CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
Worldly Mindset
My happiness
Spouse
God
Family
Church
Friends
Results in all sins
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Transformed Life
CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
Worldly Mindset
SELFISH LIFE NOT FULFILLING GODS PURPOSE
What can I GET?
Spouse
God
Family
Church
Friends
Results in all sins
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Transformed Life
CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
Worldly Mindset
Godly Mindset
Right mindset
Wrong mindset
Jesus is the Lord Glorifying God is my
purpose. I am here for Gods pleasure
I am the Lord. My happiness is my purpose
Results in all sins
Results in Holiness
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Transformed Life
CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
Godly Mindset
Godly Mindset
What can I GIVE?
Right mindset
God
Spouse
Jesus is the Lord Glorifying God is my
purpose. I am here for Gods pleasure
Family
Friends
Church
Results in Holiness
Results in Holiness
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Transformed Life
CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
Heb 122 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the
author and perfecter of our faith, who for the
joy set before him endured the cross, scorning
its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the
throne of God. What was the source of joy for
Jesus? Fulfilling the will of God, bringing
salvation for others!! MORE OF GODS ENEMIES ARE
TURNING OUT TO BE WORSHIPPERS OF GOD! GOD IS
GLORIFIED!
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Transformed Life
CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
If I have to experience true happiness, I must
desire above all else to become more like Jesus,
to live in obedience to the Fathers will as
Jesus did. I will never be happy if I am
concerned primarily with becoming happy.
My goal must be in every circumstance to
respond biblically, to put the Lord first, to
seek to behave as He would want me to.
Trying to attain Happiness is like trying to fall
asleep. The more consciously you try, the less
chance for you to get sleep.
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Transformed Life
CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
The wonderful truth is that as we devote all our
energies to the task of becoming what Christ
wants to be, He fills us with joy unspeakable and
peace far surpassing what the world offers. So I
must reject the goal of becoming happy and
willfully adopt the goal of becoming more and
more like Jesus. The result will be happiness
for me as I learn to dwell at Gods right hand in
fellowship with Christ.
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Transformed Life
HOW DO I GLORIFY GOD?
Heb 1315-16 Through Jesus, therefore, let us
continually offer to God a sacrifice of
praise-the fruit of lips that confess his name.
16 And do not forget to do good and to share with
others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.
WORSHIP
SERVICE
Greatest Command is fulfilled.
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Transformed Life
HOW DO I GLORIFY GOD?
Heb 1315-16
WORSHIP
SERVICE
SERVICE
Saved
Lost
Purpose of Life Glorify God
Greatest Command is fulfilled.
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Transformed Life
1. CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
Personal happiness must be seen as a by-product,
not a goal. God created me to glorify God and
as I do so, I will enjoy Him. Cure for personal
problems is not rearrangement of circumstances
but realignment with scriptures.
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Transformed Life
Need of Personal Worth
Personal Worth
Significance
Security
Importance, Purpose, Adequacy for a job,
Meaningfulness, Impact.
LOVE Unconditional and constantly expressed
Permanent acceptance.
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Transformed Life
Need of Personal Worth
MenPrimary Route to personal worth is
SIGNIFICANCE HOW IMPORTANT AM I? WHAT RESPECT DO
I GET? Tries to prove himself as important and
respectable. Hard work, achievements, wealth,
position..
WomenPrimary Route to personal worth is
SECURITY AM I LOVEABLE? Who loves me? Who cares
for me?
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Transformed Life
Need of Personal Worth
Reason for all problems are based on wrong ideas
about Significance and Security! Or looking at
wrong sources for them!
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Transformed Life
How does God satisfy our needs?
Heb 726 Such a high priest meets our need-one
who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from
sinners, exalted above the heavens. Jesus the
High Priest is the one meets all our needs.
God will meet all our physical needs! Matt 633
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as
well. God will meet all our needs in the future
too! Phil 46 Do not be anxious about
anything, but in everything, by prayer and
petition, with thanksgiving, present your
requests to God. And the peace of God, which
transcends all understanding, will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
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Transformed Life
How does God satisfy our needs?
God has met our need for security (LOVE)! Rom
56 You see, at just the right time, when we were
still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7
Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man,
though for a good man someone might possibly dare
to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for
us in this While we were still sinners, Christ
died for us.
Even if no one loves me, I am sure that Jesus
loves me! He proved it on the Cross! Love of
Christ is enough for me!
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Transformed Life
How does God satisfy our needs?
LOVE ? DISCIPLINE Heb 124-11 In your
struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted
to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And you
have forgotten that word of encouragement that
addresses you as sons "My son, do not make
light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose
heart when he rebukes you, 6 because the Lord
disciplines those he loves, and he punishes
everyone he accepts as a son." 7 Endure
hardship as discipline God is treating you as
sons. For what son is not disciplined by his
father? 8 If you are not disciplined (and
everyone undergoes discipline), then you are
illegitimate children and not true sons. 9
Moreover, we have all had human fathers who
disciplined us and we respected them for it. How
much more should we submit to the Father of our
spirits and live! 10 Our fathers disciplined us
for a little while as they thought best but God
disciplines us for our good, that we may share in
his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at
the time, but painful. Later on, however, it
produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for
those who have been trained by it.
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Transformed Life
How does God satisfy our needs?
Rom 835 Who shall separate us from the love of
Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution
or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
?NOTHING CAN SEPARATE ME FROM THE LOVE OF
CHRIST LOVE OF CHRIST IS UNCONDITIONAL AND
PERMANENT LOVE OF CHRIST IS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME
FEEL SECURE!
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Transformed Life
How does God satisfy our needs?
God has met our need for SIGNIFICANCE! Gal 43-7
But when the time had fully come, God sent
his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to
redeem those under law, that we might receive
the full rights of sons. 6 Because you are sons,
God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts,
the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father. 7 So
you are no longer a slave, but a son and since
you are a son, God has made you also an heir.
WHO WAS I? AN ENEMY OF GOD! WHO AM I NOW? GOD
HAS MADE ME HIS CHILD, I AM A CO-HEIR WITH
JESUS!!
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Transformed Life
How does God satisfy our needs?
God has met our need for significance
(IMPORTANCE)! Rev 59-10and with your blood
you purchased men for God from every tribe and
language and people and nation. 10 You have made
them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our
God, And they will reign on the earth. Price
paid for us Blood of Christ Designation Royal
Priests
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Transformed Life
How does God satisfy our needs?
God has met our need for significance
(PURPOSE)! Eph 29-10 For we are God's
workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good
works, which God prepared in advance for us to
do. ?GOD ALMIGHTY HIMSELF HAS CHARTED OUT A
PLAN FOR ME!! I HAVE ETERNAL IMPACT ON
PEOPLE! 1 Cor 619-20 Do you not know that your
body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in
you, whom you have received from God? You are not
your own 20 You were bought at a price.
Therefore honor God with your body. ? I am
empowered by God to do all what God has planned
for me by depositing the HOLY SPIRIT in me! ?I
BELONG TO GOD! NO ONE OR NOTHING CAN CHANGE
IT!!
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Transformed Life
RIGHT MINDSET
WRONG MINDSET
ALL MY NEEDS ARE MET BY
ALL MY NEEDS ARE MET BY
GOD ALONE
OTHERS/ SPOUSE
DEFICIT
SURPLUS
UNSATISFIED MOST OF THE TIME
FULLY SATISFIED
SERVES OTHERS OR THE SPOUSE BASED ON HIS/HER
BEHAVIOUR!
SERVES OTHERS OR THE SPOUSE IRRESPECTIVE OF
HIS/HER BEHAVIOUR!
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Transformed Life
Need of Personal Worth
Living on deficit account
When I dont feel secure with Gods love, I end
up looking for someone else to love me
unconditionally to make me feel secure. So I do
many things to win the love and respect of
someone to make me feel secure!
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Transformed Life
The Tug of War
HUSBAND
WIFE
Wrong mindset
Wrong mindset
I will feel worth If I am loved By having My
husband Spend time With me
I must earn So much Money to Be important
No time for wife
Not appreciating Husband
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Transformed Life
The Tug of War
HUSBAND
WIFE
Feels disrespected Unworthy
Feels Unloved Unworthy
Comes home only after wife Sleeps! Refuses to
talk or listen! Gets into affair with a woman
Who appreciates him! Gets into bad habits like
smoking, Drinking etc. Depression, thoughts of
divorce, Suicide etc.
Often runs away to parents house! Gets into
affair with a man Who is caring! Depression,
thoughts of divorce, Suicide etc.
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Transformed Life
CONCLUSION
Eph 420-24 You, however, did not come to know
Christ that way. 21 Surely you heard of him and
were taught in him in accordance with the truth
that is in Jesus. 22 You were taught, with regard
to your former way of life, to put off your old
self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful
desires 23 to be made new in the attitude of
your minds 24 and to put on the new self,
created to be like God in true righteousness and
holiness.
NEW SELF
OLD SELF
OWN PLEASURE
PLEASE GOD
SACRIFICIAL GIVER
TAKER
SIGNIFICANT SECURE IN GOD
INSECURE INSIGNIFICANT
GLORIFIES GOD
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END
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Transformed Life
Need of Personal Worth
Eg Wrong beliefIf I perform well, I will be
accepted. So he does his best to perform well
and if he fails, he feels I cannot be loved and
so I am not Worthy!
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Transformed Life
Need of Personal Worth
The Tug of War Husband is trying to feel
significant or important. He believes that it is
possible to achieve that goal only by earning
certain amount of money, providing so and so to
the wife etc. So he is trying by all means to
achieve that and takes up challenging jobs! Ends
up having no time for wife and children.
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Transformed Life
Need of Personal Worth
The Tug of War The wife on the other hand is
craving for husbands love as she feels like that
is going to make her secure and feel worth. She
will feel loved only if husband spends more time
with her, takes her out etc.
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Transformed Life
RIGHT MINDSET
WRONG MINDSET
Gods love is enough for me! He has proved his
love by the sacrifice of Jesus!
My spouses love for me is most important to
me! I feel very secure when my spouse loves
me!
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Transformed Life
Need of Personal Worth
Eg A woman tries to win the love of her Husband
by cooking something special. Her husband
doesnt notice and appreciate She is so upset
and says you dont care!! She is upset because
she is afraid that she is Losing her husbands
love which leads to Insecurity.
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Remember we are pilgrims here on the way to
heaven!What is in heaven?
Transformed Life
LIVING WITH THE PURPOSE OF GLORIFYING GOD IN
SHORT GOAL IS MATURITY
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Transformed Life
IN SHORT GOAL IS MATURITY

• MATURITY is achieved by
• Immediate obedience in specific
• situation.
• 2. Long-range character growth
• ? TO BE LIKE JESUS.

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Transformed Life
Transformation
Rom 85-8 Those who live according to the sinful
nature have their minds set on what that nature
desires but those who live in accordance with
the Spirit have their minds set on what the
Spirit desires. 6 The mind of sinful man is
death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is
life and peace 7 the sinful mind is hostile to
God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it
do so. 8 Those controlled by the sinful nature
cannot please God.
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Transformed Life
Transformation
Phil 317-21 Join with others in following my
example, brothers, and take note of those who
live according to the pattern we gave you. 18
For, as I have often told you before and now say
again even with tears, many live as enemies of
the cross of Christ. 19 Their destiny is
destruction, their god is their stomach, and
their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on
earthly things. 20 But our citizenship is in
heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there,
the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who, by the power that
enables him to bring everything under his
control, will transform our lowly bodies so that
they will be like his glorious body.
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Transformed Life
GLORIFICATION
Path of Righteousness OBEDIENCE
JUSTIFIED
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Transformed Life
CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
New Goal
Result
I want to be like Jesus! (I want to Please God)
Fulfilling the will of God
Righteousness True Happiness
SALVATION
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Transformed Life
CONCEPT OF HAPPINESS
Old Goal
Result
I want to be happy!
Selfishness (Sins)
Displeases God
Disappointment, LOST