Genuine, Active Listening

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Genuine, Active Listening

• EIE 12 TIPS 3

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Listening is to HearingasComprehension is to
Reading
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Overview

• Listening key to strengthening emotional
  intelligence
• Basic Tenets of Good Listening
• Reflective listening to clarify content
• Reflective listening to clarify feelings
• Listening to nonverbals

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Characteristics of An Effective Listener - 1

• Makes eye contact
• Exhibits affirmative head nods and appropriate
  facial expressions
• Avoids distracting actions or gestures that
  suggest boredom
• Asks questions for clarification
• Paraphrases using his/her own words
• Avoids interrupting the speaker
• Doesnt overtalk
• Makes smooth transitions between the role of
  speaker and that of listener

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Characteristics of An Effective Listener - 2

• Is motivated, willing to exert the effort
• Doesnt prejudge based on issues like
  credibility, delivery or appearance
• Tries to understand the message from the
  speakers point of view
• Listens for the big picture rather than focusing
  on specific facts (minutiae)
• Listens for both factual content emotion behind
  the literal words
• Withholds judgment until speaker is finished
• Is natural authentic

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Role Playing

• Aka practice

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First of allI need 2 volunteers

• Lee Chris

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Now I need the rest of you to divide into trios
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Instructions - 1

• You will be given a handout containing 3 separate
  exercises
• Group Exercise 1
• Group Exercise 2
• Group Exercise 3
• For EACH exercise, 2 of the 3 of you will play a
  role, while the 3rd person will be an
  observer/commentator
• A different person should be the observer for
  each exercise

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Round 1
Debbie
Actor A
Chris
Actor B
Observer
Jill
Round 2
Round 3
Debbie
Debbie
Actor A
Actor A
Chris
Chris
Actor B
Actor B
Observer
Observer
Jill
Jill
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Instructions - 2

• For each exercise, all members of the trio may
  read the SITUATION
• Beyond that, each person should read THEIR PART
  ONLY
• Reading your counterparts role will lessen the
  effectiveness of the exercise
• In real life you do not fully know the other
  persons business...
• Observers obviously may read everything

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Instructions - 3

• Get into your character.
• Role playing is acting.
• The role description establishes your character.
• Follow the guidelines it establishes.
• Do not change or omit the facts you are given.

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Instructions - 4Timing

• You will have 10 minutes for each exercise
• 7 minutes to read the background roles and
  enact the role play
• 3 minutes for the observer to provide feedback
• Please do NOT read ahead to the next exercise
  should you finish early.

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Questions
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Discussion - 1

• Which aspects of listening are easiest for you?
  Why?
• Most difficult? Why?

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Characteristics

• Making eye contact
• Exhibiting affirmative head nods, appropriate
  facial expressions
• Avoiding distracting actions or gestures
• Asking questions
• Paraphrasing
• Avoiding interrupting
• Not overtalking
• Making smooth transitions speaker/listener

• Not prejudging
• Trying to understand the message from the
  speakers point of view
• Listening for the big picture
• Listening for both factual content emotion
• Withholding judgment

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Discussion - 2

• How well did the participants use their listening
  skills while receiving feedback from observers
  (I.e., real life vs. role play)?

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The Job Interview

• Modeling Exercise
• Starring Lee Chris

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Instructions

• While Lee Chris conduct their meeting, the
  rest of us will play the role of observers, using
  the worksheet for observers.
• Lee Chris will have about 10 minutes to
  conduct their meeting.
• This will be followed by class discussion.

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Reminder to Lee Chris

• Remember, this is a listening role play, not a
  test of interviewing skills.

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Debriefing - 1

• Lee, how well do you think you listened?
• How well did Chris listen?
• Chris, how well do you think you listened?
• How well did Lee listen?

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Debriefing - 2

• Class, how did Lee Chris do with their
  listening?
• Where were did they do a good or outstanding job?
• How might each actor have improved on any weak
  areas?