Stepfamily Dynamics and Supporting Programs

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• Stepfamily Dynamics andSupporting Programs

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Jennifer L. Baker, Psy.D. Anne B. Summers, Ph.D.
Debbi Steinmann, M.A. Training Instructor /
MentorsMelissa A. Gibson, M.S. Kim Rozell, M.A.
Graduate AssistantsBrent Anderson, M.S.
Matthew Biller, M.A. Cate Brandon, M.A Dawn
Clinard, M.A.Jessie Clinton, M.S. Tabitha
Carlson, M.S.Anup Jonathan Tony Larson, B.A.
Nicole Mannis, M.A.Robert Mindrup,
M.S.S.W.Colleen Quinn, Ph.D. Amber Schafer,
M.A. Amanda Schroeder, B.S.

• The Training for the Healthy Marriage and Family
  Formation curriculum was created through the
  cooperative efforts of

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What is a Stepfamily?

• A family in which one or both of the adult
  partners bring a child from a previous
  relationship.
• Stepfamily is the preferred name rather than
  blended family.

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How Stepfamilies Differ From First-time Families

• Develop because of a loss.
• Parent-child relationship has a longer history
  than the new couples relationship.
• One biological parent is not in the home.

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How Stepfamilies are Different From First-time
Families

• Children can be members of two households.
• Stepparents may have to assume a parental role
  before a connection is made with the child.
• No legal relationship exists between stepparent
  and child.

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Stepfamily Statistics in the United States

• More than half of Americans will be in a
  stepfamily in their lifetime.
• In 2000, 4.4 million children lived in
  stepfamilies.
• 1/3 of Americans are currently a stepparent,
  stepchild, stepsibling or other member of a
  stepfamily.

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Stepfamily Strengths

• Children adapt better in a well-functioning
  stepfamily than in a conflict-ridden family of
  origin.
• If a positive home environment and a positive
  relationship between stepparent and stepchild
  exists, harmony and completeness can be felt in
  the new family.

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Characteristics of Successful Stepfamilies

• Good communication
• across households
• Realistic expectations for stepparent role
• Adequate finances
• Better communicators
• Shared perceptions

• Creative
• Flexible
• Honest
• Practical/Realistic
• Strong couple
• relationship
• Sense of humor

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Facing Challenges

• Adjustment to remarriage can take anywhere from
  two to seven years.
• Newer stepfamilies may be at greater risk for
  conflict and more likely to experience family
  stressors.
• Conflicts and stressors affect the individuals
  living in a stepfamily environment.

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A Childs Adjustment

• Transitions and stressors
• Games parents play
• Age and gender
• Common behavioral problems
• Predictors
• Preventative factors

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Transitional Stressors - Divorce

• Lessened availability of one parent.
• Decline in parental support and control.
• Moving to a new house and attending a new school.
• Losing old friends and having to make new ones
  because of relocation.
• Loss of the fantasy about ones ideal family.

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Transitional Stressors -Remarriage

• Parental conflict
• Absence of noncustodial parent
• Change in parenting style
• Dealing with new siblings
• Interacting with the stepparent
• Changes in custodial parent availability
• The number and complexity of transitions
  experienced have a great impact on adjustment.

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Harmful Games Parents Play

• Loyalty choices
• Co-parent/stepparent put-downs
• Encouraging child to engage in conflict with
  other parents

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Harmful Games Parents Play

• Time with child as reward or punishment
• Using money to manipulate
• Using the child as a messenger or spy

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Impact of Gender

• Females
• Harder time adjusting.
• View the stepfather as breaking the bond between
  mother and daughter.
• Less likely to talk to stepfathers.
• More likely to avoid or withdraw from the
  stepfather.

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Impact of Age

• Younger children experience fewer adjustment
  problems.
• Children age nine and older have a greater
  likelihood of maladjustment.
• About 1/4 to 1/3 of teens in stepfamilies
  disengage from their families, spending little
  time at home.
• Teens more likely display externalizing behaviors
  and internalizing symptoms.

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Common Behavioral Problems Following Parental
Remarriage

• Aggressiveness
• Noncompliance
• Academic struggles
• Difficult adjustment in school
• Disruptions in peer and dating relationships

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Predictors of Behavioral Problems in Children

• Parental and family conflict
• Parental loss
• Economic hardship
• Poor maternal well-being
• Negative parenting style
• Life and family stress

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Protective Factors for Children

• Losses mourned
• Realistic expectations
• A strong unified couple
• Establish constructive rituals
• Satisfactory step-relationships
• Separate households cooperate

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Stepparents Stepchildren

• Do not consider stepparents to be equivalent to
  their biological parents.
• Prefer the stepparent function as more of a
  friend than a parent.
• Stepmothers experience more resistance from
  stepchildren and have a harder time adjusting
  than stepfathers.

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Stepfamily Discipline

• The biological parent should remain the primary
  disciplinarian.
• When the biological parent is not present, the
  stepparent acts as a visiting aunt or uncle
  enforcing the house rules.

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Stepfather Issues

• Stepfathers are usually less involved in
  decision-making and punishment than are
  biological fathers.
• Children who have a poor relationship with their
  stepfather may have lower self-esteem.

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Stepfather Stepdaughter Issues

• Interactions are more negative than those between
  stepfather and stepson.
• Girls are more likely to
• Treat stepfather as an intruder.
• Act in avoidance or withdrawal.
• Initiate conflict.
• Resist stepfathers expectations for authority
  and control.

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Impact on the Remarried Couple

• Stepparent-stepchild relationship quality
  strongly impacts the marital relationship.
• Ambiguity about stepparent roles often
  contributes to problems.

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Impact on the Remarried Couple

• Different boundaries and subsystems are formed
  within the stepfamily.
• Stepparents find it difficult to impact and
  relate to the biological parent/child
  relationship.
• Marital problems may be perceived differently by
  each spouse.
• New spouses may feel threatened by their
  partners contact with a previous spouse.

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Ideas to Remember When Working with Stepfamilies

• Dont try to mold the stepfamily into the image
  of a first-family.
• Be aware of the impact the stepparent-stepchild
  relationship can have on the family.
• Encourage parents and children to discuss the
  appropriate role for the stepparent.

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Websites

• Bonus Families
• www.bonusfamilies.com/
• Family Transitions
• www.childreninthemiddle.com
• National Stepfamily Resource Center
• www.stepfamilies.info
• Stepfamily in Formation
• www.stepfamilyinfo.org
• Stepfamily Zone
• www.stepfamily.asn.au

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Questions