The Parent Trap:

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The Parent Trap Facilitating Student
Independence
JoAnn M. Schrass, Ph.D., Associate Dean of
Academic Services Barbara Wagar, Psy.D., J.D.,
Director Psychological Services Cedric Rucker,
Dean of Student Life Elizabeth R. Foster,
Freshman Advising Coordinator University of Mary
Washington Fredericksburg, VA 22401
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Escaping the Parent Trap Facilitating
Student Independence
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• Today, transition to adulthood is longer, more
  complex
• College as minimum credential for career and life
  stability
• Competition for college admission begins early
• Little room for trial and error or experiential
  learning
• Escalating college costs relate to increased
  demand for value

• Helicopter Parents
• Heavily involved/invested
• Consumer savvy
• Advocacy role
• Entitled to access

• Millennial Students
• Sheltered, managed
• Techno-tethered
• Education means to an end
• Resilient?

4

• What does successful transition mean?
• Establish stable identity
• sense of purpose, meaning
• productive endeavors
• Develop flexible life skills
• plan, make decisions, choose career, manage
  money, live independently
• self-care, ability to maintain health
• emotional self-regulation
• healthy interpersonal relationships
• intimacy demonstrate care/concern for others
• participate in community life
• manage conflict, negotiate, assert, compromise

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• The Parent Track
• Residential liberal arts institutions offer
  strong support for developmental tasks
• Channel parental interest/concern into
  partnerships w/administrators and faculty to
  encourage, not impede, development of student
  maturity and self-efficacy
• HOW?
• provide stepwise independence / autonomy for
  students, especially FY
• provide guided student decision-making in
  academic planning
• reinforce student ownership/responsibility for
  all aspects of education
• emphasize health-learning connection
• encourage community connections /involvement
• encourage parent participation in roles in which
  they are uniquely well-suited
• inform parents students of transition issues
  and supportive services using sources most
  influential with each group

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Health and Wellness Information Parents

Students Psychological development issues
Normalizing the challenges of FY Transition
issues Coping tips for
transition Students with MH histories
Alcohol/drug policies and issues Services
available (and not available!) Link
between health status learning Confidentiality
/ privacy issues (HIPAA, FERPA) Services
available, how to access Alcohol / binge drinking
concerns Importance of self-care Appropriat
e roles for health providers Importance of
early intervention Warning signs, how to
intervene appropriately
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The Parent Track Philosophy One of the best
ways to support students is by understanding the
Universitys role in their lives. In order to
help your student develop into an healthy,
responsible, resourceful adult, opportunities to
encourage personal responsibility are essential.
Thus begins a new chapter in the life of your
student, not only emphasizing responsibility for
academic success and integrity, but also self
responsibility for what happens to them in all
areas of their lives in college and beyond. We
seek to create a partnership with parents, not
replace the parents role in the life of the
student. Yet, ultimately, your student will
learn many valuable lessons during their
university tenure, most important among these is
no one is responsible for your life but you.
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• SCHEDULE
• Registration
• Parents Reception
• What You Need To Know
• University Welcome
• Welcome Fair
• Parents Handbook

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Old vs. New

• Full-color vibrant cover
• Professionally Printed
• Professional format and structured sections
• Factual Explanations with summaries and
  checklists

• Mundane cover
• Xeroxed publication
• No table of contents / no structure
• Question and Answer format

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Goals

• Your father may be the head of the family,
  but I am the neck, and the neck can turn the head
  any way it chooses.
• -My Big, Fat,
• Greek Wedding

• Present a professional appearance
• Encourage parental involvement while promoting
  student independence
• Utilize parents as an automated reminder

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Inspiration to Individuality

• Fabulous, but too generic

• Personalized to maximize effectiveness

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Introductory Letter

• A personal message from the Associate Dean of
  Academic Services

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The Transition From High School to College
(Letting Go)

• Academic Advising
• Freshman Academic Advising Program
• Advising Meetings
• The next three years

• The difference will be the adjustment from
  being the driving force of a supervisor to the
  encouraging resource of a supporter.
• -UMW Parents Academic Brochure

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Get the Parents Thinking

• Create an open dialogue between student and
  parent
• Reinforce that responsibility and decision making
  rests with the student
• Remind students via parents of timely issues

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In the know, but out of the way

• Confirmed
• Asked
• Discussed

Academic Advisor

• Degree Plan
• Prospective Majors
• Proposed Schedule Registration

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Policies and Procedures
Review
Responsibility lies with the student!
Refer
Resist
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Academic Services
Special Opportunities Assistance
International Academic Services
Disability Services
Career Services
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Appendices

• Referral List
• UMW Calendar
• Study Skills Workshop Schedule

• Quick Tips for the First Year Student
• Conversation Starters

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• The Lure in the Trap Parent Resources after
  matriculation
• The Parents Council (Development)
• Family weekend
• Showcase for incoming parents (and their
  students)
• Assistant Dean for Academic Services
• Parents Web page
• Parent book club
• (discussions during Family weekend)
• Parent e-mail
• Parent phone contact

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• How are students becoming independent?
• Connecting
• Guiding
• Demystifying
• Speed dialing MD

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Dr. JoAnn Schrass, Associate Dean of Academic
Services, University of Mary Washington,
jschrass_at_umw.edu, 540-654-1010Dr. Barbara
Wagar, Director Psychological Services,
University of Mary Washington, bwagar_at_umw.edu,
540-654-1053 Cedric Rucker, Dean of Student
Life, University of Mary Washington,
crucker_at_umw.edu, 540-654-1200Elizabeth Foster,
Freshman Advising Coordinator, University of
Mary Washington, efoster_at_umw.edu,
540-654-1010
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Useful references

• Benson, P Scales, P. Hawkins, JD Oesterle, S
  Hill, KG. (2004). Successful Young Adult
  Development Executive Summary A Report
  Submitted to the Bill Melinda Gates Foundation.
  www.gatesfoundation.org/nr/downloads/PNWG/EarlyLea
  rning/SuccessfulDevelopment.pdf
• Furstenburg, Jr., F Kennedy, S. McCloyd, V.
  Rumbaut, R. Settersten, Jr., R. (2003). Between
  Adolescence and Adulthood Expectations About the
  Timing of Adulthood. Working Paper No. 1
  Research Network on Transitions to Adulthood.
  http//www.transad.pop.upenn.edu/news/between.pdf
• Smith, Donald Gordon, Virginia (2003) A Family
  Guide to Academic Advising, NACADA
• The Network on Transitions to Adulthood
  University of Pennsylvania http//www.transad.pop.
  upenn.edu/index.htm
• UMW Freshman Advising Portfolio
• UMW Parents Academic Brochure http//www.umw.edu/
  cas/acservices/docs/parent_academic_brochure.pdf
• UMW Parents Guide
• UMW Psychological Services Center
  http//www.umw.edu/cas/psychservices
  /default.php
• Mental Health the College Experience
  http//www.umw.edu/cas/psychservices/resources/men
  tal_health__college_exp.php
• How to Survive Freshman YearAs a Parent!
  http//www.umw.edu/cas/psychservices/resources/how
  _to_survive_freshman_ye4.php
• First-Year Survival How to Operate Effectively
  in the Unknown http//www.umw.edu/cas/psychservice
  s/resources/first_year_survival_guide.php

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"Education or Remediation" (Monday, March 20,
115-230pm in Room 114 of the Convention Center)
The ACPA Convention Showcase (Monday, March 20,
630-800pm in the Sagamore Ballroom of the
Convention Center) "Faculty Gone Wild!"
(Tuesday, March 21, 845-1000am in Room 117 of
the Convention Center) Open Meeting Academic
Affairs Administrators (Tuesday, March 21,
230-430pm in the Colorado Room of the Marriott)
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