FRIENDSICKNESS

1
FRIENDSICKNESS

• Erin Klingenberg, M.Ed. LPCC NCC
• Director of Counseling
• Valley City State University

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Friendsickness? What is that?

• Relational challenge for college students that is
  induced by moving away from the established
  network of friends (Paul Brier, 2001).

3
Defined

• Challenge in the college transition that is
  distressing and dampening to college adjustment
  and in need of prevention and intervention
  efforts so that its effects do not become
  chronic.

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Transitional Period

• May be decreased sense of competence as a friend
  (Paul Brier, 2001).
• Feeling of loss and grief may be so intense that
  student has no energy to invest in forward
  focusing.

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Backward Focusing -vs.- Forward Focusing

• Backward Focusing Preoccupied with losing the
  established friendships.
• Forward Focusing Shift from pre-college
  friendships to new college friendships.

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Senior Year of High School

• Signs of Potential Problems
• Avoidance of post high school decisions
• Uncharacteristic academic problems
• Depression
• Anger
• Overly consumed with high school friends
• Social adjustment problems
• Withdrawn
• Acting out
• Alcohol and/or other drug misuse

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First Semester College

• First semester lays the ground work for program
  completion and attainment.
• 50 of students experience moderate to high
  degree of friendsickness.
• 40 did not include new college friends at the 10
  week mark into college (Paul Brier, 2001).

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Psychosocial Maturity

• Definition Capacity of an individual to
  function without the over-influence of
  parents/friends (Budny Delaney, 2001).
• Eliminating parents/friends from the students
  life is NOT the desire but rather, eliminating
  the dependency on parents/high school friends.

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Signs and Symptoms

• Feelings of loss and grief/sadness
• Loneliness
• Loss of appetite
• Academic difficulties
• Abuse of alcohol and other drugs
• Change in sleep patterns
• Crying spells
• Poor choice of friends
• Anger
• None

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Preparing High School Students

• Identify expectations student family friends
• Social adjustment
• Emotional separation from high school friends for
  some (age)
• Recognize poor coping pattern

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Addressing Friendsickness

• Identify family expectations how they may
  contribute to friendsickness
• Prospective higher education institution how do
  they address transitions
• Resources available referrals
• Social adjustment coping skills
• Self inventory
• Familys transition prepare
• Special population

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What Can I Do?

• Suggestions for the high school counselor
• Parent awareness
• Parent Teacher Conferences
• Student preparation
• Presentation to senior classes
• College student return to HS classes
• Coping skills identified
• Referrals

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What Can I Do?

• Suggestions for the Student Affairs Personnel
• Educate RAs about Friendsickness
• Educate family members during summer orientation
• Educate students during summer orientation
• Counseling Services awareness
• Educate Academic Advisors

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Summary

• Awareness recognize
• Action students families
• Advocate prevention
• Future gender first-generation student
  distance from home age of HS student

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Overview

• Best Treatment is Prevention!
• Raise the knowledge level of new students and
  families regarding lifestyle changes
  (friendships sharing room bathroom cafeteria
  etc)
• Awareness of the resources available to the new
  student and family members provided through the
  university/community
• Helping all parties develop a positive attitude
  toward the first year of college

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Reference

• Budny, D.D., Delaney, C.A.(2001). Working with
  students and parents to improve the freshman
  retention. Paper presented at the Frontiers in
  Education Conference. Reno, NV.
• Oswald, D.L., Clark, E.M.(2003). Best friends
  forever? High school best friendships and the
  transition to college. Personal Relationships,
  10, 187-196.
• Paul, E.L., Brier, S.(2001). Friendsickness in
  the transition to college Precollege predictors
  and college adjustments correlates. Journal of
  Counseling and Development, 79. 77-87.