LUCENT TO REOPEN HENDRIK SCHON CASE

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LUCENT TO RE-OPEN HENDRIK SCHON CASE
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SCHON TALENTED AT THE ART OF DECEPTION

• Superconductivity
• Molecular electronics
• Molecular crystals

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SCHONS MOLECULAR CRYSTALS SECRETLY REPLACED
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WALL STREET THE PERFECT PLACE FOR SCHON

• PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THE DATA OUGHT TO LOOK
  LIKE
• NO SCRUPLES NECESSARY

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GOLDENFELD UNAVAILABLE FOR COMMENT
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FRADKIN PHILIP PHILLIPS BETTER WATCH OUT NEXT
SOLID STATE SEMINAR
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PHILLIPS WHO, ME?
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JUST IN UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE UNTENABLE
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NOBEL PRIZE IN PHYSICS- RETROACTIVELY AWARDED
URGUG (HOMOERECTUS) - FOR THE DISCOVERY OF FIRE
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STRIP-CHART RECORDER USED BY URGUG IN FIRE
MEASUREMENT
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SMITHSONIAN NATIONAL MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY
ANNOUNCES NEW ACQUISITION
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WEISSMANS T-SHIRT GOES ON DISPLAY JAN 2003
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YOULL NEVER GET THIS BOWTIE!!
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UIUC BOARD OF TRUSTEES ANNOUNCES CHIEF
COMPROMISE
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CHIEF ILLINIWEK
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Chief Osceola
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GOLDBART IM MORE LIKE FEYNMAN THAN ANY OF
YOU!
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FEYNMAN CHECKLIST

• PLAYS DRUMS
• WINS TEACHING AWARDS
• DOES THEORETICAL PHYSICS
• JUGGLES

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HERTZOG HOLD UP THERE, TURBO!
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FEYNMAN CHECKLIST(cont.)

• DOESNT PARADE AROUND IN TIGHT LEOPARD-PRINT
  SHIRTS

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UNION!
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OLD GRIEVANCE PROCESS
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NEW GRIEVANCE PROCESS
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DEPARTMENTAL PRINTING SCANDALS THREATEN WEAKENED
BUDGET
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CLANDESTINE PRINTING OUT OF CONTROL
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GRAD OFFICE RENTAL PROGRAM 2003
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SPACIOUS, CLEAN, LOW PRICE
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FINALS SCHEDULING DEBACLE
498 MATH METHODS FINAL 8am - 11am, Friday Dec
20th
480 - QUANTUM MECHANICS I FINAL 130 - 430
PM, Friday, Dec 20th
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498- Math Methods Prof. Mike Stone
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UIUC BOARD OF TRUSTEES ANNOUNCES NEW SALARY
FREEZE MASCOT
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FREEZY THE SALARY FREEZE MASCOT
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