Marty Pagel, Ph'D' Department of Biomedical Engineering and Department of Chemistry

1
BME 510 Biology for Biomedical
Engineering Effective Scientific Writing
Marty Pagel, Ph.D.Department of Biomedical
Engineering and Department of Chemistry Arizona
Cancer Center University of Arizona, Tucson,
AZ Email mpagel_at_u.arizona.edu Cell Phone
(520)-404-7049 Office Room 4949B, AZ Cancer
Center
2
How well you communicate affects the well-being
of others
Explosion was caused by failure of O-rings in
the solid rocket boosters
Engineers knew of O-ring problems well before
fatal launch
Engineersfailed to communicateseriousness of
problem

Report
, 1986
Space Shuttle Challenger(January 28, 1986)
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• Organization Structure
• Introduction
• Middle Sections
• Conclusions

3. Conclusions
Ending
2. Middle Sections
Middle
1. Title
Summary
Beginning
Introduction
4
IntroductionPrepares readers for the
discussion
Defines the scope and limitations of the subject
scope
Proposed Study
on Effects of Alcohol
on Life Expectancy
Ten
-
year study
Three classes of drinkers
non
-
drinkers
moderate drinkers
heavy drinkers
Men surveyed
limitations
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Middle Sections present your work
Use section headings that are parallel and
descriptive
Performance of
Performance of
the Solar One Receiver
the Solar One Receiver
Introduction
Introduction
Receivers Efficiency
Steady State Efficiency
Steady State Efficiency
Average Efficiency
Average Efficiency
Start
-
Up Time
Receivers Operation Cycle
Operation Time
Start
-
Up Time
Operation During Cloud Transients
Operation Time
Panel Mechanical Supports
Operation During Cloud Transients
Tube Leaks
Receivers Mechanical Wear
Conclusion
Panel Mechanical Supports
Tube Leaks
Conclusion
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Ending

• Conclusions
• Analyze results from overall perspective
• Relate to Introduction
• Future Perspective
• Make Recommendations
• Discuss Future Work
• Repeat Limitations

7
Content Analyze Your Constraints
Who they are
What they know
Audience
Why they will read
How they will read
Format
The challenge of the first blank page!
Formality
Occasion
Politics and ethics
Process and deadline
To inform
Purpose
To persuade
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Style

• Avoid Generalities
• Avoid Specifying Too Many Details
• Complex Wording Buries Detail
• Avoid Stacking Adjectives
• Complex Sentences Misdirect Readers
• Avoid Weak Verbs
• Eliminate Redundancies
• Vary Sentence Structure

9
Generalities that are not anchored with
specifics are soon forgotten
After recognizing
some problems with
the solar mirrors, we
took subsequent
corrective
measures.
10
Generalities that are not anchored with
specifics are soon forgotten
After recognizing
some problems with
the solar mirrors, we
took subsequent
corrective
measures.
11
Avoid Specifying Too Many Details
The number of particular hydrocarbon
combinations in our study is enormous.
For example, the number of possible
C
H
is 366,319 and the number for
20
42
C
H
is 62,491,178,805,831.
40
82
12
Avoid Specifying Too Many Details
The number of particular hydrocarbon
combinations in our study is enormous.
For example, the number of possible
C
H
is 366,319 and the number for
20
42
C
H
is 62,491,178,805,831.
40
82
13
Complex wording buries ideas
The goal of this study is to develop a
commercialization
strategy for solar energy systems by analyzing
factors impeding early commercial projects (i.e.,
SOLAR ONE) and by identifying the potential
actions
that can facilitate the viability of the projects.
14
Complex wording buries ideas
This study will consider why current solar energy
systems, such as Solar One, have not reached the
commercial stage and will find out what steps
we can take to make these systems commercial.
The goal of this study is to develop a
commercialization
strategy for solar energy systems by analyzing
factors impeding early commercial projects (i.e.,
SOLAR ONE) and by identifying the potential
actions
that can facilitate the viability of the projects.
15
Complex wording buries ideas
This study will consider why current solar energy
systems, such as Solar One, have not reached the
commercial stage and will find out what steps
we can take to make these systems commercial.
The goal of this study is to develop a
commercialization
strategy for solar energy systems by analyzing
factors impeding early commercial projects (i.e.,
SOLAR ONE) and by identifying the potential
actions
that can facilitate the viability of the projects.
16
Stacking adjectives before nouns swallows the
ideas
Solar One is a 10 megawatt solar
thermal electric central receiver
Barstow power pilot plant.
17
Stacking adjectives before nouns swallows the
ideas
Solar One is a 10 megawatt solar
thermal electric central receiver
Barstow power pilot plant.
Solar One is a solar
-
powered pilot
plant located near Barstow, California. Solar
One
produces 10 megawatts of electricity by capturing
solar energy in a central receiver design.
18
Complex sentences misdirect readers
The goal of the work was to
confirm the nature of electrical
breakdown of nitrogen in uniform
fields at high pressures and
electrode gaps which approach
those obtained in engineering
practice, prior to the deter
-
mination
of the processes which
set the criterion for breakdown
in the above
-
mentioned gas in
uniform and non
-
uniform fields
of engineering significance.
19
Complex sentences misdirect readers
The goal of the work was to
confirm the nature of electrical
breakdown of nitrogen in uniform
fields at high pressures and
electrode gaps which approach
those obtained in engineering
practice, prior to the deter
-
mination
of the processes which
set the criterion for breakdown
in the above
-
mentioned gas in
uniform and non
-
uniform fields
of engineering significance.
20
Weak verbs hide the energy of your work
A new process for eliminating nitrogen
oxides from diesel exhaust engines is
presented. Flow tube experiments to
test this process are discussed. The
percentage decrease in nitrogen oxide
emissions is revealed.
21
Weak verbs hide the energy of your work
A new process for eliminating nitrogen
oxides from diesel exhaust engines is
presented. Flow tube experiments to
test this process are discussed. The
percentage decrease in nitrogen oxide
emissions is revealed.
22
Eliminate Redundancies Tighten your writing
Vibration measurements made in the
course of the Titan flight test program were
complicated by the presence of intense
high
-
frequency excitation of the vehicle
shell structure during the re
-
entry phase
of the flight.
Use your red pen and cross out unnecessary words.
Vibration measurements made in
the Titan
flight were complicated by intense high
-
frequency excitation of the vehicle shell during
re
-
entry.
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Varying sentence structures allows for more kinds
of transitions between sentences
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Mechanics

• Unclear Pronoun References
• Punctuation Rules
• Word Usage Rules
• Verb Tense

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Example Your Homework for Todays Lecture
Abstract Summary Novel pH-sensitive polymeric
micelles comprised of poly(L-histidine)
(MW5K)/PEG (MW2K) block copolymers were
investigated for triggered anticancer drug
release by tumor extracellular pH or by early
endosomal pH. The results from in vitro cell
viability tests elicited that the micellar
adriamycin formulation showed pH-dependent
cytotoxicity and when endocytosed via folate
receptor mediation, the formulation showed
equivalent effectiveness in kill rate with
multidrug resistant cells to that with wild
cells. Introduction A wide range of cancer
researches for improved chemotherapy, which has
been a major regimen in treating various cancers,
have resulted in fruitful scientific and
practical disciplines to combat cancers.
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Unclear pronoun references cause ambiguities
it Receiver or Radimeter?
Because the receiver presented the radiometer
with a high flux environment, it was mounted in
a silver
-
plated stainless steel container.
this Win a Holiday email or the email being
read?
If you receive an e
-
mail titled Win A Holiday,
do
not
open it. It will erase everything on your
hard drive. Forward this e
-
mail out to as many
people as you can. This is a very malicious
virus and not many people know about it.
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Punctuation rules are designed to have
sentences be read one way
Colon
a colon introduces a formal list, long
quotation, equation, or definition.
Semi
-
Colon
a semi
-
colon either joins two
independent clauses (closely linked in
thought) or separates complex items in a list.
Dash
a dash acts as a parenthesis to separate
items that cannot be separated by commas.
Comma
a comma separates details in a sentence.
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Not all usage rules are constant
with respect to time
1700s
an historical...
1900s
a historical...
1900
X rays
1950
X
-
rays
1995
x
-
rays
C E News (1985)
the
1980s (plural)
C E News (1995)
the 1980s (plural)
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To determine the verb tense in a document,
plant a reference flag for t0
Past Tense
Present Tense
Future Tense
Events that have
Timeless details or
Events that will occur
already occurred
details at time of reading
after project
t
0
t
The pressure
was
...
Air
is
79 percent nitrogen.
Future work
will
For the experiment, we
Figure 1
shows

focus
on....
assumed

The computer code in
As
was shown
back in
Appendix B
includes
...
Figure 1...
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Verb tenses that refer to the document depend on
position
Introduction
This report
presents
a design for
connecting light emitting diodes to the
HC11
microcontroller
.
Results and Discussion
...Figure 1
the circuit that connects
shows
the light emitting diodes to the HC11
microcontroller
.
Conclusions
This report
has presented
a design for
connecting light emitting diodes to the
HC11
microcontroller
. As
was shown
in
Figure 1, the circuit...
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Writing Resources

• Writing Centers at the U of Arizona
• Essentials of Writing Biomedical Research Papers,
  2nd Ed., by Mimi Zieger
• The Craft of Scientific Writing, 3rd Ed.,
• by Michael Alley
• The Elements of Style, 3rd ed., by Strunk White
• A good dictionary and thesaurus
• (or Internet resource)

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Writing Inspiration
I am not quite sure how writing changes things,
but I know that it does. It is indirect - like
the trail of earthworms aerating the earth. It
is not always deliberate like the trails of
glowing dust dragged by comets. - Erica Jong
When I am not writing, Im dying. - Neil Diamond
Good writing is a kind of skating which carries
off the performer where he/she would not go. -
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Either write something worth reading or do
something worth writing. - Benjamin
Franklin I have written a great many stories,
and I still dont know how to go about it except
to write and take my chances. - John Steinbeck