Dr' Fred T' Garmon, PhD

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Dr. Fred T. Garmon, PhD Presents
Redemptive Leadership 10 Critical Skills
MANAGING / LEADING CONFLICT LAB
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Redemptive Leadership 10 Critical Skills

• Integrity of Heart
• Self Awareness
• Servant Leadership
• Situational Leadership
• Exemplary Practices
• Leading Change
• Managing Conflict
• Water you Swim In
• The Road Ahead
• Developing a Bench

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Metaphors of Redemptive Leadership
Not so with you 20/20 Leadership
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Metaphors of Redemptive Leadership
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Leadership Development Presuppositions   The
Church is the hope of the world.   Leaders are
the hope of the church.   There is a leadership
crisis today.   The crisis is a crisis of
character Integrity / Credibility  
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Guard the Best And Manage the Worst Things
About yourself.
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Our Journey Begins Here!
Leadership Development Begins with
Self Development
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Self Development Begins with Self Awareness
Take your pulse!
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Self Awareness Leads to Self Control
Self Management
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Scripture Speaks to Self Awareness

• Matthew 75 First take the log out of your
  own eye, and then you will see clearly to take
  the speck out of your brothers eye. NAS
• Galatians 61 But watch yourself, or you also
  may be tempted. NIV
• Galatians 64 Let each one examine his own
  work NAS
• Romans 123 Think of yourself with sober
  judgment NIV

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2 Corinthians85 NIV And they did not do as
we expected, but they gave themselves first to
the Lord and then to us in keeping with God's
will.
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THE most important and/or valuable information a
leader possesses is SELF-KNOWLEDGE Via SELF-AWAREN
ESS
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Self-enhancement Bias
We dont know if weve arrived at truth unless we
take the extra step to test our thinking,
our perceptions, against the
thinking of others
So, Feedback is a Gift
Blake McCanse, 1991, p. 279 The Leadership Grid
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Intrapersonal Conflict
Inter-Group Conflict
Interpersonal Conflict
You cant lead others till you first lead
yourself through a struggle with opposing values.
Fundamental Dimensions of Conflict
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Ken Sandes Slippery Slope of Conflict Model
(1991)
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Leaders Conflict Part 1
Indiana Campmeeting
With Dr. Fred Garmon, PhD
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Question 1?
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Question 2?
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James 41-3 provides a clear biblical definition
of conflict
Originates pride, ambition, selfishness,
greed.
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Dont
they come from your desires that battle within
you? (NIV)
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Ken Sande (1991, p. 17), writing in his book
entitled The Peacemaker, states,
To some, conflict is a hazard that threatens to
sweep them off their feet and leave them bruised
and hurting. To others, it is an obstacle that
they should conquer quickly and firmly. But a
few people have learned that conflict is an
opportunity to solve common problems in a way
that honors God and offers benefits to those
involved.
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inevitable!

• Personal Experience

normal?
Desirable???
Incentive
2. Choose interesting topic
3. Exposure to secular literature
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Dr. J. Chris Thomas Professor of New
Testament (COGTS)
Perhaps few topics are as relevant as this one
for a movement which is facing the kinds of
challenges as those which await the Church of
God
(1993, p.1 Leadership and Conflict Seminar)
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Conrad Lowe Consultant with John Maxwells
INJOY Group
Conflict management is the number one issue for
Church of God ministers.
Personal Correspondence, February 7, 2001,
Cleveland, TN
Conflict is an organizational fact of life.
Castantino Merchant (1990, p. 4)
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Importance of the Issue

• 10 of all Protestant Churches in the U.S. are
  so embroiled in conflict that they cannot
  fulfill the Great Commission.
• 75 of all churches have their ministries
  reduced because of unproductive cycles of
  conflict.
• 25 of all church conflict is so severe that
  the church cannot even function.

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COG Journal 40

• Surveys suggest that managers spend more than
  20 of their time dealing with conflict and its
  collateral damage.
• In fact, a large number of pastors leave the
  ministry every year due to unmanaged or
  mismanaged conflict.
• Add to this the fact that research implies that
  too few pastors possess the skills needed to
  manage conflict appropriately.

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1996 Issue of Leadership Magazine

• Approximately 23 of pastors were fired at
  least once.
• 41 of the congregations who fired their
  pastors have done this to at least two previous
  pastors.

Another 43 said a faction
(typically less than 10 people)
forced them out.
Who Are THEY?
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Reasons Pastors Give for Terminations
67

• Personality conflicts 43
• Conflicting visions of the church 17
• Financial strain in the congregation 7
• Theological differences 5
• Unrealistic expectations 4
• Other 19

There is a glaring lack of knowledge about the
Bible. (1999 Gallup Poll)
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Task Relationship Orientation / Direct
Indirect Communicators

• Personality Conflicts?
• Conflicting Visions of the Church?
• Theological Differences?

The Pastor is usually playing catch-up to someone
elses vision!
Only 5 Conflict is typically over trivial
issues.
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Implicit vs Explicit Expectations?
Recent surveys report findings
stating that organizations with explicit values,
mission vision experience as much as 80 less
conflict.
This flight is bound for Chattanooga, TN. If you
dont want to go to Chatt please deboard now.
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1 Timothy 315
Paul said, I write these things that you may
know how you ought to conduct yourself in the
house of God

• Behave yourself

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Dr. Garmons Fireside Chat
Top 10 Things that Irritate Pastor Garmon (4)
1. Walking around in out of the church
service.
2. Sound personnel who dont pay attention.
3. Leaders who dont ever sit in a church
service.
4. Telling me your criticism on Sunday -
Or Monday
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900AM Monday Mornings
Sobering statistics regarding
the toxic hazards of stress and
job dissatisfaction
More people die in the United States at 9 a.m.,
Monday morning than at any other time. Deepak
Chopra Balancing Personal and Corporate Well-Being
Source Training Magazine, May 2001, Coherence
Highlights
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According to a USA Today Survey
80 of Americans are overwhelmed with stress
from coping with a work/life balance a
significant stat considering the role stress
plays in cardiovascular illness,
the nations No. 1 killer.
Source Training Magazine, May 2001, Coherence
Highlights
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Pastoring a large church is one of the top 3 or 4
stressful occupations in America.
Peter Drucker
The Father of Modern Management

• President of the USA
• President of a university
• President / CEO of a hospital
• Pastor of a large church

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The major problem facing Christians has little
to do with theology, the occult, secularism, or
humanism Far more insidious
is our inability to work
together, to function
harmoniously and creatively, and to
constructively manage conflict.
Gangel Canine, 1992
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A Paradoxical Phenomenon
Ministry leaders intended to be peacemakers
inappropriately managing conflict
Blessed are the peacemakers Matthew 59
2 Corinthians 518 NASU All these things are
from God, who reconciled us to Himself through
Christ and gave us the ministry of
reconciliation
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Well managed conflict is an investment in the
future.
Tjosvold, 1997, p. 23
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Even though most pastors were formally prepared
for ministry, a large percentage expressed that
they were unprepared for certain actual
ministerial experiences.

• The top three competencies lacking in seminary
  training are
• Conflict Management - 31
• Business Admin/management - 24
• Leadership - 12

Leadership Journal (2000)
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The Association of Theological Schools (ATS), an
accreditation association for 243 graduate
schools in the USA and Canada, reports
that Conflict management skills are second
among the top six most needed leadership
competencies.
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Leadership Skills are Learnable
More than 60 billion spent in North America
alone

• Institutions that thrive
• Cultivate leadership
• Incubate generations of leaders
• Make leadership development the
  organizations most significant issue.

- Prepare like raising crops
- To hatch, or aid the development of
-The gospel is always one generation from
extinction.
Collins Porras, 1994
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The critical responsibility for creating
conflict positive conditions must fall
disproportionately on the formal leader it is
the leader who willset the tone as to what types
of behavior will and will not be tolerated.
Amazon Schweiger (1997, p. 110)
The leader more than anyone elsecreates the
conditions that directly determine peoples
ability to work well.
Daniel Goleman (2002, p. 18) Primal Leadership
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Affective Emotional - Personal
Destructive Conflict Levels
Constructive Conflict Levels
NORM
STORM
Conflict
Emergence
Constructive Controversy
Consensus
Cognitive Objective - Rational
FORM
Orientation
PERFORM
Reinforcement
AGENDA
Action Items
Fishers Team-Decision Making Cycle
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Words from Followers
Our organizational climate can be positive and
motivating or negative and demotivating,
depending on the EXAMPLE YOU SET as a
leader. Your leadership style is THE SINGLE MOST
IMPORTANT VARIABLE. Its what separates success
from abysmal failure.
Walk the Talk Handbook, D. Cottrell, 2000
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The higher up the organizational ladder you go,
the less likely you are to receive honest
feedback especially about how your leadership
style is being perceived by others.
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An Alarming Report Originating From Work With
Conflicted Congregations
As much as 90 of the time, whenever a
congregation is involved in a highly destructive
conflict, the pastor is either the perpetrator or
is deeply involved as one of the conflict parties.
Shawchuck Heuser (1996, p. 249)
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Be Careful What you Change!
Conflict is evident in
all society BUT It is an enigmatically sensitive
problem for the church!

• Intense emotional relationships
• Spiritual pressures exaggerated
• Core spiritual psychological identities at risk

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"Conflict management...may be the most dominant
problem Christian organizations face."
Gangel Canine, 1992, p. 19
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Fuller Institute of Church Growthn Survey
The survey involved 2,500 pastors and
reveals some disturbing findings 80 believe
that pastoral ministry is affecting their
families negatively
A 2002 issue of Rev. Magazine addresses the much
too common collateral damage experienced by
preachers kids (PK), stating, Children reared
in ministry families are more prone to
disillusionment with Christians and Christianity
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Collateral Damage Involving Families
When children are exposed to the many conflicts
and personal attacks that occur in the name of
God and Christianity, it is no wonder so many
conclude what one pastors son did I love you,
mom and dad, and I love God. I just dont want
anything to do with church.
Rev. Magazine (Larson, 2002, p. 72)
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• 1 in 4 (25) Catholics quit ministry each year.
• 1 in 8 (12.5) Protestants quit ministry each
  year.

John Norval (Notre Dame)
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More recent estimates 1 in 6 (16.6), or
50,000 of the nations 350,000 ministers leave
the ministry each year.
Umidi (2000)
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Statistics do not include
Silent Deaths Collateral Damage
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2 Peter 15-8
Make every effort to add to your faith goodness
goodness, knowledge 6 self-control
perseverance godliness 7 brotherly kindness
and love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in
increasing measure, they will
keep you from being ineffective and
unproductive
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Longsuffering

• Patience Galatians 522
  Includes it as one of the
  fruits of the Spirit

Greek MAKROTHOMIA Compound word consisting of
MACROS long or big THUMIA -
temper Literally - to have a long fuse,
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Perseverance
KEEP MOVING
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Leadership - Not for Wimps
So, when you want to give up, When you feel like
quitting, YOU DONT!
You keep moving! You persevere!
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Leaders Conflict
BREAK
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Leaders Conflict Part 2
Indiana Campmeeting
With Dr. Fred Garmon, PhD
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10 Minute Break
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Leaders Conflict Part 2
Indiana Campmeeting
With Dr. Fred Garmon, PhD
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Church of God (Cleveland, TN)Ministers
Dr. Garmons Research Findings Concerning
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The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict MODE Instrument
(TKI) the leader in conflict resolution
assessment for the last 25 years (Consulting
Psychologist Press).
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The SLII Model
Situational Leadership Ken Blanchard (2002)
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The Ken Blanchard Companies donated 100 Leader
Behavior Analysis II (LBAII) self and other
instruments which carried a market value of
20,000.00.
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• Leadership Style
• Directing
• Coaching
• Supporting
• Delegating

• Education
• Age
• Size of Congregation
• Level of Income

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Conflict Management Modes
Theoretical Best Mode
Theoretical Worst Mode
1
2
3
4
LAST
Preferred Order
(Blake Mouton Blake McCanse Thomas
Kilmann)
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Preferred Order to Conflict Management Styles

• Collaborate (1) Best
• Compromise (2)
• Accommodate (3)
• Compete (4)
• Avoid (5) Worst

Win-Win Middle-Ground Yield Win Delay
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Competing
Collaborating
Two Better Than One Win / Win
My Way WIN
Compromising
ASSERTIVENESS
Make a Deal, Find Middle Ground
Avoiding
Accommodating
Tomorrow - Delay
Its my pleasure Yield
COOPERATIVENESS
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November, 2000 Conflict Styles Chosen by Church
of God Theological Seminary Students
Pilot Research
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Conflict Styles Chosen by Church of God Ministers
October 2001
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Comparative Research
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Church of God Pastors Who Have Left a Church Due
to Conflict and Those Who Have Not
70.8
29.2
N 65
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46 Pastors Have Never Left a Church Due To
Conflict (70.8)
19 Pastors Have Left a Church At Least Once Due
To Conflict (29.2)
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Interesting Discovery
Of the 19 pastors who had left a church due to
conflict, a significant number will repeat the
incident (8 of 19, or 42.1).
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Figures Generalized to Total Church of God
Ministerial Population

• 29.2 2,044 of 7,000 COGs in the USA
  involved in such intense conflict as to cause a
  minister to leave.
• Of those who leave-- 42.1 or 861 will move
  again for the same reason.

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Conflict as an Encourager to Change Professions?
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• Pulpit and Pew Survey (2002)
• 7 in 10 (70) say they have never thought about
  leaving their profession.
• Christianity Today, Todays Pastor Profile (1995)
• 3 in 10 (33.3) want to leave the ministry at
  one point or another and feel trapped.

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Profiles - Age
Intuitive visual impressions of the
relationships (Sternstein, 1994. Statistics).
(Pages 295-296)
Scatter plot graphs are only suggestive,
evidence is weak.
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Profiles - Education
(See Page 299)
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Profiles Size of Congregation
(See Page 305)
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Profiles Income
(See Page 307)
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Garmon Conflict Positive Context Pedagogical Model
I- Awareness of five C/M strategies with
short-term situational benefits consequences
(C/R). II- Awareness of and skill development for
long-term strategy for keeping conflict
cognitively based versus affectively based. III-
Education concerning Fisher and Tuckmans team
decision-making cycle. IV- Case study dialogue
concerning real-life scenarios. V- Inspirational
challenging biblical exhortation (Romans 5
Philippians 2 Ken Sandes The Peacemaker).
Teach Ken Sandes The
Peacemaker
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Managing Conflict Learning Curve1

• Become aware of your personal HOT BUTTONS.
• (Behaviors in others that can upset you enough
  to throw you off-balance - emotional hijacking).
• Become aware of PERSONALITY TYPES that frustrate
  you.
• Understand that FEEDBACK IS A GIFT
  (constructive criticism) and build
  relationships that encourage speaking the truth
  in love.
• Become aware of your AUTO APPRAISERS
  intuitive cues (physical emotional), that
  alert you it is time to take your pulse or go
  to the balcony (withdraw from the discussion,
  step back, cool down, and gain perspective).

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Managing Conflict Learning Curve2

• 5. Be aware that there are five (5) conflict
  management modes (styles) and understand that
  they are situational with a theoretical best and
  worst
• (collaboration, accommodation,
  compete, compromise, avoidance)
• Theoretical best collaboration, win-win
  outcome.
• (Seeks to create an opportunity to brainstorm
  solutions that can meet both sides needs i.e.,
  enlarge the pie before worrying about how to cut
  it.)
• Theoretical worst avoidance, lose-lose outcome.
• (Not typically an appropriate behavior.
  Emotions either fester and eventually come
  rushing out in an angry outburst or they leak
  out in the form of sarcastic, demeaning remarks.)

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Managing Conflict Learning Curve3

• Understand and learn to facilitate meetings and
  personal encounters that adhere to the forming
  (orientation), storming (conflict), norming
  (emergence), and performing (reinforcement)
  discussion matrix.
• Understand that cognitive, objective,
  task-focused conflict is okay and even desirable
  because it deals with issues that can result in
  open and rigorous debate of problems.
• Understand that affective, emotional,
  relationship-based conflict is destructive. It
  focuses on finding someone to blame and results
  in heated emotions, bad feelings and unresolved
  issues.

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The SLII Model
Situational Leadership Ken Blanchard (2002)
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A leaders primary leadership style Church of
God ministers reported the following

• Takes the most time, energy, resources

• Defines
• Goals
• Timelines
• Roles
• Boundaries

53.8
44.6

• 2nd most common

Caution No Directing fundamentally no
Delegating.
Most Common Gen. Pop. Leadership Style

• 54 - 1 style 34.4 - 2 styles
• 10.2 - 3 styles 1.4 - 4 styles

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Dr. Fred T. Garmon, PhD Presents
Redemptive Leadership 10 Critical Skills
MANAGING CONFLICT LAB